Its your good mate Honest Tom here to fill you in on all of the latest markets for the all-important 2016 Victorian OZgolf Championship. This year sees a field of varying quality taking to Yering Meadows and Heritage Golf Clubs (shit, really? They couldnt find anything better?).
So here you go folks. Remember to please bet responsibly and stay away from those pricks at TAB.
$6 - GK (Best finish 1st, played 2 Vic champs) Defending champ and proven performer. His rubbish bunker technique is offset by the wonderful Sandbelt traps.
$8 - Benno_r (8, 1) Has racked up more frequent flyer miles than a Kalgoorlie hooker.
$8 - Shadesy (4, 1) Rated by Jack as having the most bullshit handicap west of the Nullarbor). Big chance.
$10 - BenM (6, 3) Probably the best of the mods. Golfwise.
$10 - Lucasto23 (6, 2) Favoured to be the leading Yarpie. Has he shaved off that beard yet?
$12 - PeteyD (9, 2) Stay off the drugs dude.
$12 - Courty (2, 3) Recently outed by Solarman for having a six month fling with him. Needs tighter pants.
$12 - Peter_RS (1, 3) Freed from the shackles of playing in the comp. Could be the first repeat winner.
$15 - Nudgee (10, 2) Spaniard, come Queenslander, come Victorian. Will appreciate the soft towels at Heritage.
$15 - Andigold (3, 3) One downright scary S.O.B. Waterhouse will not say anything controversial about this guy.
$17 - LeftyHoges (4, 3) Recently outed by Solarman for having a six month fling with Courty. Also needs tighter pants.
$17 - Captain Nemo (10, 2) Rumoured to be travelling via Griffith to Melbourne. Watch for the car with the plume of smoke coming out of it.
$20 - Oldracer (3, 1) Good record in his one appearance. Will be wearing Andre Agassi flouro and spandex.
$20 - Gammon (10, 2) Outside chance. Good value.
$20 - 3PuttPete (debut) Noted dribbler. Might be able to sledge the opposition out of it.
$33 - Hardboiled (debut) A new face for the Vic Champs. Cant see this being his year.
$33 - Noren (debut) From fine Swedish pedigree such as Henrik Stenson, Annika Sorenstam, and the chef from The Muppets.
$33 - LarryLong (6, 3) Has a 6th as a best result. Could be a handy bet for best mod.
$40 - Peppas (23, 2) Will be too busy chasing Victorian slags on King St.
$40 - Spanner039 (10, 3) Best result of 10th. Really cant see that improving.
$50 - SundayHack (debut) Self confessed hack. No friggin chance.
$50 - Matt3Jab (5, 1) Handicap hasnt blown out enough since the cheat stick ban.
$50 - Ned (8, 3) Chasing a win in the Qld inter regionals took too much out of him.
$50 - Simmsy (18, 1) This is not an event for old coots.
$66 - Ploppy Pat (7, 1) Would be a bigger chance if this event was played at Nudgee alongside Perci.
$66 - Dotty (31, 1) One result for 31st place is not great form to be honest.
$66 - Shazza_RS (16, 3) Must be due to get up the duff again. Watch the birth notices in November.
$66 - Ferrins (debut) Might be mistaken for a vagrant by security. Will do well to set foot on the course.
$66 - Dcanto (22, 1) - Strangely, he was also recently outed by Solarman for having a six month fling with Courty.
$101 - Monsta (15, 3) Will be signed up by the Greens after 7 hours in the car with Benno.
$501 - Wbennett (12, 3) Spud. Bill Shorten has more chance of being PM this year.