Golf quotes

[Puji]

Virge's last post in the Hogan thread:

~ "A poor golfer goes home thinking about his good shots. A good golfer goes home and thinks about the bad shots he didn't hit" - Arnold Palmer

Got me intrigued; so I looked for some more golfing quotes.

http://golflifelessons.com/

Have a read of that entire page. It will probably take 20minutes - but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

What's everyone else's favourite golfing quotes?

For me I couldn't help but laugh out loud at this:

"If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there."

[sms316]

**** **** **** - dc68 at the 2012 OZgolf Champs.

[muldude]

found this one, perfect for isg
"The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing "

[Lobsta]

**** **** **** - dc68 at the 2012 OZgolf Champs.

You're wrong. That was Lefty.

[popper81]

There are a few popular ones that I have grown up with..... playing with the men on staurdays as a 12year old was always good fun. I still always smile when the old blokes around the club roll them out. I guess they are like "dad jokes", they get better with age. I am sure you have all heard them 10000000000 times before, but these two always make me chuckle.

"That will run like a sailor's ****!" Old timer, ex navy, and my old neighbour ( he got me into golf I used to caddy for him, before i could actually play on Saturdays)...will use it every hole if he gets the chance.

This one is great tip, and always puts things into perspective:

"You don't draw pictures, you write numbers"

[Lagerlover]

....



Posted by popper81

Beer, beach & bikini clad beauties v. Vets, shanks and beer guts.... Pretty easy decision really!!!!


image.jpg

[Monsta]

"Shanks are funny"
SMS

[LeftyHoges]

You're wrong. That was Lefty.

With good reason. QLD greens are shit.

[popper81]

....



Posted by popper81

Beer, beach & bikini clad beauties v. Vets, shanks and beer guts.... Pretty easy decision really!!!!


Attachment 21646

Hahahahah... **** that was a great night....

[idgolfguy]

Don't drink and drive... don't even putt!
Dean Martin

[Johnny Canuck]

This par 3 is deceptively deceptive. T Hamilton.

[Lobsta]

With good reason. QLD greens are shit.

And apparently the bunkers, and the rough, and the occasional tee box.

[LeftyHoges]

And apparently the bunkers, and the rough, and the occasional tee box.

Wasn't in too many bunkers (only in them at bloody Pelican) so can't comment, but agreed on the rough and tee boxes!

[Monsta]

My favourite came from my grandfather,
He said that my problem after a crap shot was " that I was standing too close to the ball after I hit it"

Oldie but a goodie

[Courty]

I recently heard a new one (to me, anyway). If someone leaves a shot (particularly a putt) short, it's a 'dead sheep' (still ewe/ you).

It gets some mileage when Solarman is in the gaggle.

[markTHEblake]

It's summer now so the Cathy freeman is getting some mileage.

[Puji]

One I annoy my golfing partners with regularly:

"100% of short putts don't go in the hole"

[Hatchman]

"The more I practice, the luckier I get"
Think that was a Ben Hogan one when either a reporter or another player said he was lucky when pulling off a difficult shot.


"Must have hit a flat rock"
I know someone that used to hit a reasonably long ball rolled this out when ever he was out driven.


"Like a rat up a drain pipe"
Used when a putt is hit heaps hard but nails the back of the cup and disappears.


I have a small book at home that's got 100 of them from Golf Pros and Celebrities. Will have to find it so I can put some more up.

[Webster]

Those who can, play. Those who can't, teach.

Putts can only do one of two things - they will go in, or they won't.

[Yossarian]

You hit that putt gheyer than Yoss.

[Ashes]

You hit that putt gheyer than Yoss.

Be honest; no one has ever had grounds to say this, have they?

[virge666]

Those who can, play. Those who can't, teach.

Putts can only do one of two things - they will go in, or they won't.

Those that can't teach, teach PE

[Yossarian]

Be honest; no one has ever had grounds to say this, have they?

Not often but every now and then.

"That putt needs to do a langer"- Tourfit.

[Dcanto]

Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor, the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass. - Adam Sandler (in Happy Gilmore)

[Dotty]

'I want to start a thread - Describe Your Worst Ever Golf Hole Using MS-Paint.' tg01