Ask Yoss

[Eldrick]

Yoss,
i am going to dinner tomorrow night.how should we split the bill?

[Ashes]

Yoss,
i am going to dinner tomorrow night.how should we split the bill?

Do you have a multiple personality disorder?

[idgolfguy]

Yoss,
i am going to dinner tomorrow night.how should we split the bill?

Make sure you book for three.
Eat and then leave it to the third to pay.

Disclaimer: I am not Yoss!

[Yossarian]

Eldrick,

Great question. The problem of restaurant bill paying etiquette is one that has plagued mankind for centuries.

If you are going with a particularly wealthy host or a partners parents assume they are getting the bill. It can cause embarrassment to offer so don't bother.

If going with acquaintances then the bill should be split on the basis of what you ordered with the person that has done the greatest amount of organising to keep any left over coin or throw it in as a tip.

With friends it is often easier to just split the bill evenly as it all works out in the end, however if one friend is notorious for buying expensive meals to try and make a profit then they should be pilloried until the error of their ways is apparent to them. Either that or you should go for a jog with them late at night.

Hope this helps.

Yoss.

[Webster]

Yoss,

1. How many infraction points do you have?

2. Why do you prefer the term "full banana" instead of the more traditional "anteater"?

3. Do you have to be ghey to use the term ghey without offending the gheys?

Thanks, Jack.

[Yossarian]

Hi Jack and thanks for the questions,

1. 0 currently although that could be subject to change at any moment. I live in hope/fear.

2. I am not entirely sure, I used it once as an off the cuff remark and it seemed to cause some mild amusement. I yearn for attention and it seemed to deliver.

Anteater is a perfectly valid term as well IMHO.

3. It is a tricky one, I'm not sure you have to be a homosexual but I think you have to be a noted friend of the homosexual movement. Which is an odd term and conjures up certain images best not discussed on this forum.

Cheers

Yoss

Yoss

[Johnny Canuck]

Out of all the WA ozgolfers, which golfer has the greatest handicap differential between the game they talk and their actual game?

In your opinion, what should the actual handicaps be on both accounts?

[dave1]

What does Yoss mean?

Home track?

Ball flight (current & desired)

Handicap (lowest)?

Favorite food?

Job?

[sms316]

Yoss,

Which OZgolfer would you like to sleep with?

[markTHEblake]

Yoss please don't answer the last question. Answer this one, will take less time anyway. Which ozgolfers would you not like to sleep with.

[Minor_Threat]

Yoss do you believe in God?

[Peter]

Yoss,

What's a law meme?

[WBennett]

Yoss

"Have you ever c*** in a guy's a*** before?".

[Pieface]

He just forgot to allow enough asterixes for "cooked" and "apartment"

[WBennett]

I was thinking choofed in a guys apartment. Isn't that what they are suggesting Peter Slipper did? I have been unable to work out the asterixes in the paper.

[Yossarian]

I have to go get drunk now, rest assured I will be back to answer all your questions soon.

Xox

[Hamo84]

Yoss

"Have you ever c*** in a guy's a*** before?".

haha, nice one you just had to slip that in didnt you

[Webster]

Yoss,

Ford Fairlane told us in 1989 that masturbating with a cheese grater was sligtly amusing, but mostly painful. Was he correct?

[Yossarian]

Out of all the WA ozgolfers, which golfer has the greatest handicap differential between the game they talk and their actual game?

In your opinion, what should the actual handicaps be on both accounts?

Probably Rubin, the amount of information he throws around about golf gear, swings and the like, especially in the early stages was up there.

His talk about six months ago was single figures, it is now high teens.

I haven't seen him play in ages so can't comment on real life.

Bergsey also has far too much handicap.

What does Yoss mean?

Home track?

Ball flight (current & desired)

Handicap (lowest)?

Favorite food?

Job?

Yossarian was the main character of the novel Catch 22 by Joseph Heller.

High and everywhere, I desire high and straight.

16 I think.

Indian or a good pasta.

Student. I work/ed at IGA as the man, and am now at a mining company.

Yoss,

Which OZgolfer would you like to sleep with?

Probably bergsey.

Yoss please don't answer the last question. Answer this one, will take less time anyway. Which ozgolfers would you not like to sleep with.

Probably jaybam at the moment, he might try to break me.

Yoss do you believe in God?

I am gathering you mean a Christian God? Or just God in general?

Either way yes, but we all have our doubts don't we.

Yoss,

What's a law meme?

Peter,

Wiki does far better here than I can
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meme

Basically funny in jokes that aren't really funny or that in.

Yoss

"Have you ever c*** in a guy's a*** before?".

No.

Yoss
Do you have any pull at WA courses ?
Work is quiet and could do with a shiny new WA gig.

I don't unfortunately but Hartfield needs some work. Kennedy are also doing another 9???

Yoss,

Ford Fairlane told us in 1989 that masturbating with a cheese grater was sligtly amusing, but mostly painful. Was he correct?

I'm unsure as I've only ever tried with a lemon zester. It hurt.

[sms316]

Yoss, have you put in any photo bombing efforts lately which rival that famous one with you and the chicks?

[Yossarian]

Yoss, have you put in any photo bombing efforts lately which rival that famous one with you and the chicks?

That was quite good.

A couple but I got nut shotted out of the frame on one, and the other was at the wedding of a good friend and I got evils from the missus so had to withdraw.

[Dotty]

When you graduate, will you be going into partnership with Dave1?

[PerryGroves]

Yoss,

When will Ozgolfs great wrong be righted.

I refer to putting Mega in charge of WAnker moderating when it was clear to all right thinking posters that you were far and away the best candidate.

[idgolfguy]

Speaking of which, haven't heard from him in while.

[sms316]

Yoss, out of Zigwah, sti83 & iGolf, who do you think should be invited to return to the forum?