Ask Yoss

[sms316]

Yoss, do you think jarro is an effective moderator?

[Dotty]

I can't comment as I don't really know any of "their" songs.

What's music got to do with it?

[Jarro]

We're there midgets in that movie?

Que

[Jarro]

Yoss, do you think jarro is an effective moderator?

Well ??

[markTHEblake]

Yoss, why does it seem so many oZgolfers obsessed with Brokeback Mountain

[Yossarian]

Yoss, do you think jarro is an effective moderator?

I plead the 5th.

What's music got to do with it?

I don't even know what they look like!

Well ??

5th.

Yoss, why does it seem so many oZgolfers obsessed with Brokeback Mountain

Not sure as I haven't seen it.

[Eldrick]

Hi Yoss eldrick again,
My question this time is as follows. why is it that I notice that a pothole has been fixed on my drive home. And not when my wife has a haircut?

[Yossarian]

Eldrick,

Another great question.

I notice what material houses are roofed (rooved?) in. But not when a new top has been bought.

I don't actually know the answer to this. As it is really in our best interest to notice both the pothole and the haircut. I think it is because we love our partners for who they are, not what they look like...

[markTHEblake]

It is because men are single focused and practical. There is a benefit to the pothole being fixed. Thee wife's new haircut or clothes have no benefit. Women on the other hand are sensitive to lots of things all at once because they can multitask so well. They can spot a new haircut a mile away.

[meh]

Yoss, should I be able to purchase a new club as my wife has just spent in the vicinity of $250 getting her hair done?

[Yossarian]

It is because men are single focused and practical. There is a benefit to the pothole being fixed. Thee wife's new haircut or clothes have no benefit. Women on the other hand are sensitive to lots of things all at once because they can multitask so well. They can spot a new haircut a mile away.

Men like sex. Noticing haircuts helps here. That is pretty practical.

Yoss, should I be able to purchase a new club as my wife has just spent in the vicinity of $250 getting her hair done?

Yes. Although I feel you may buy more golf clubs than your wife gets hair done....

[meh]

Men like sex. Noticing haircuts helps here. That is pretty practical.



Yes. Although I feel you may buy more golf clubs than your wife gets hair done....

I only read yes.

[hocko]

Yoss,
If 7/11 is open 24hrs a day, seven days a week and 365 days a year........why do they have locks on the doors?

[PerryGroves]

Yoss, in a former time a smart punter would leave Australia for parts beyond, usually the UK.

I am not suggesting setting up shop in the shithole that is London these days however you can't stay in Perth forever, can you?

If you are going to leave, where is the venue?

[Webster]

Yoss, what kind of tattoo should I get for my next birthday?

[Zeusgolf]

Yoss,
If 7/11 is open 24hrs a day, seven days a week and 365 days a year........why do they have locks on the doors?

...you need locks in the event of a robbery, the coppers can lock the door for the preservation of evidence.....

[hocko]

...you need locks in the event of a robbery, the coppers can lock the door for the preservation of evidence.....

Bloody cops! They ruin everything.

[idgolfguy]

Yoss,If 7/11 is open 24hrs a day, seven days a week and 365 days a year........why do they have locks on the doors?

On leap years, they have a day off.

[sms316]

Yoss - if there was no such thing as gravity, would the sky be full of dead birds?

[LeftyHoges]

Yoss - if there was no such thing as gravity, would the sky be full of dead birds?

No, as birds need gravity to swallow. Therefore if they could not eat they would not have the strength to get off the ground and die in the air. Or so I'm told...

[mike]

Yoss, I bought some bird seed.

When is the best time for sowing the seed and how long will it take for the birds to grow?

[Yossarian]

Yoss,
If 7/11 is open 24hrs a day, seven days a week and 365 days a year........why do they have locks on the doors?

For when they need to go for a poo.

Yoss, in a former time a smart punter would leave Australia for parts beyond, usually the UK.

I am not suggesting setting up shop in the shithole that is London these days however you can't stay in Perth forever, can you?

If you are going to leave, where is the venue?

Shit, Iran.

I dunno though, we will be going somewhere just not sure where!

Yoss, what kind of tattoo should I get for my next birthday?

Yoss - if there was no such thing as gravity, would the sky be full of dead birds?

Um, if there was no gravity there would be no birds to begin with....

Yoss, I bought some bird seed.

When is the best time for sowing the seed and how long will it take for the birds to grow?

Growing beautiful birds begins with proper bird planting techniques and requires neither great bird gardening skills nor experience. The following information describes how to get your new bird plant off to a flying start.

Simply use a little common sense in your choice of location, follow the steps outlined here and voila - your birds are off to a healthy start.

Selecting a Site to Plant your Birds.

First, choose a sunny area of the garden that gets at least 4 to 5 hours of sun. Do not crowd your bird with other trees and plants. Some birds, such as seagulls and African Swallows, don’t mind company, but most like to mix with other birds or other non-invasive birds. If you’re replacing an older bird bush, it is important to remove an 18 cubic inch area of soil and replace it with fresh soil. A newly planted bird doesn’t like to grow in the same soil that an older bird bush has been in.

When to Plant

• Bare Root Birds -An easy and inexpensive option for early season planting. Late winter is the best time plant bare-root birds.
• Container Birds - A container bird already has plenty of wingage and maybe some feathers. Early spring is the best time to set out plants grown in nursery containers (vs. bare-root, packaged birds).

Step-by-Step instructions for Planting Birds

1. If you have a bare root plant, soak it in a bucket of water before planting. For birds that are potted, you can water the pot thoroughly and let it sit until ready to plant.
2. Dig a hole approximately 15 inches deep and 18 inches wide. If planting bare root birds, form a small mound of soil in the center of the planting hole. If you live in a colder area, plant a bit deeper and consult with your local garden center.
3. Add a small handful of bonemeal and birdseed to the planting hole. Spade in some compost or peatmoss or even bits of bread to loosen the soil. Mix the soil you took out of the hole with more compost or peat moss.
4. Remove the bird from the pot. Carefully place in the hole and shovel the extra soil around the new plant. Plant the bird with the beak slightly deeper than the original soil. The beak or talons should be about 1 inch under the soil
5. Gently firm the bird into its new home and water well. Stand back and watch it grow

[mike]

Thanks for that.

I take it gannets won't grow in the tropics huh?

[Yossarian]

Correct.

[hocko]

Yoss,
Why is the only leak in my gutters right above the back door?
No homo.