Groomsmen - some questions

[Scottt]

Hi guys,

Have been giving some thought to proposing to my partner, and my thoughts today turned to who I would choose as my groomsmen.

Wondered if the married guys here could answer a few questions that might help give me some idea how others have come to the decision.

How many did you have?
What relationship were they to you?
How long had you known them?
How regularly did you see them at the time?
What made you choose them?
How much do you see them now?

Thanks in advance.

[Fishman Dan]

2
Very good mates. I didn't include my brother, he was my MC.
High school.
Quite often. More so after school.
Very good mates.
Very often, although one bloke is now a Canadian resident (currently spending a period of time over here).

I chose friends, you might need to resort to family members

[TheTrueReview]

So Scottt, you're thinking of this ??

My advice would be to go with what your gut feel tells you. Having said that, two biggies are (1) don't invite anyone if you're gut tells you they may not be able to behave him/herself (no matter how 'important' they are). If you're in two minds about someone behaving, generally they won't. A spoiled wedding will result. (2) If a member of your wedding party needs to give a speech, don't invite someone to that role who can't speak in front of others or alternatively will go on like a dill when a microphone is in their hands.

The last thing anyone wants is to see their wedding on 'not-so-funniest' home videos.

[Julie]

Scott I hope your girlfriend dosen't read ozgolf net.

Otherwise the surprise of the your proposal has totally flown out the window.

She might get a bit cranky with you for discussing it with the ozgolfer's first.

[Dotty]

If you ask him nicely, DC68 will be happy do it for you.
Just ask the caterers to provide two extra slabs of bourbon and cola.


ps. Nothing constructive to add.

[Julie]

If you ask him nicely, DC68 will be happy do it for you.
Just ask the caterers to provide two extra slabs of bourbon and cola.


ps. Nothing constructive to add.

Scott I hear if you get DC68 to be your groomsman, you might also have to supply a spew bucket.

[BrisVegas]

1. How many did you have?
2. What relationship were they to you?
3. How long had you known them?
4. How regularly did you see them at the time?
5. What made you choose them?
6. How much do you see them now?

Thanks in advance.

1. 3
2. friends
3. since grade 8 at school. I was 28 when I got married, so about 16 years.
4. 1-2 times a year, usually at other weddings! (I was living in America in the 4 years leading up to my wedding, so much of the organising was over the phone & internet)
5. I was groomsman for my two groomsmen and was 'in pencil' to be best man for my best man (rok31). They are all good friends that I was proud to have next to me on the day. I had a 3rd groomsman that I couldn't use because there were only 3 bridesmaids. In hindsight, I would have made my older brother a groomsman instead of one of my friends, just so he could have been more involved. In reality, let the bride choose how many bridesmaids she wants, then choose yours to match. Its her day.
6. I see rok31 a fair bit, as he's local and plays golf. The other two, less frequently, but at least once a year. We've all got young families now (that's what often happens after weddings! ) so time is a scarce resource. They're good friends though, so an annual catchup is fine.

[Webster]

The number you have will be determined by how many bridesmaids your fiance wants. Then just select your best mates, one of which has the important job of organising the bucks party. At the bucks party make sure you have a "minder" to look after you.

[Fishman Dan]

The number you have will be determined by how many bridesmaids your fiance wants.

All these years I thought you wore the pants! My missus was going to have just the 1 (her sister), but considering my 2 mates, my sister got the gig as another bridesmaid.

[Dotty]

That's the easy part. Now, you have to discuss flowergirls and pageboys.

My brother & SIL didn't like the prospect of gap-toothed kids in their wedding photos, so they had zero. (It had the bonus effect of not disappointing the mums/aunties/etc. of the kids that didn't get selected.) I've seen a few problems trying to get the munchkins to walk down the aisle (they want to sit with mum/grandma), be photographed, to stand still, to look forward, to smile, etc.

Good luck. (Or wait for Grunt's advice.)

[Moe Norman]

Mine were also determined by # of bridesmaids.

I had my best mate who I had actually only known for 8 years at the time, but he is still my best mate now.

I had my 1st cousin who is also a good mate

Then for a 3rd I couldn't really decide between my remaining group of close friends, so at my bucks party we played golf and also raced Go Karts. The best performer across the 2 events was the 3rd groomsman. A 1 handicapper shot 92, so he obviously wasn't interested!

Strangely enough, the bloke I probably would have chosen won anyway.

I see the 2 groomsmen regularly, but my best man lives in Dubai at the moment. The 2nd groomsman had a bad accident when he moved to Sydney to play Rugy League for St. George and has pretty bad brain damage and now lives with his folks - but i see him at least once every fortnight.

[goughy]

1. 3, cause Clikchic had 3 bridesmaids - see Jacks point!!
2. Best man was my best mate at the time (haven't seen him in years and years), one was clicky's brother who works with me now, and the other was a best mate who I don't see enough but am still mates with
3. Best man I new a couple of years, Clicky's brother as long as I'd known her, and the other from high school.
4. All the time at the time
5. Seemed obvious choices at the time.
6. See 2!

[Dazza]

How many did you have? 2
What relationship were they to you? One a mate from Primary School (And right through high school) Another a top bloke I met while in the NT. Give you the shirt off his back.
How long had you known them? 10 years & 4 Years
How regularly did you see them at the time? Not often, once a couple of years. But kept in contact via phone.
What made you choose them? They're the two most genuine blokes I know, and we get along so well.
How much do you see them now? Will see my NT mate twice this year, other mate will visit for a fishing trip later on this year.

[just]

Who will be paying for the wedding Scottt? If its you and the missus, restrict her to one bridesmaid and you only have the bestman (obviously your best mate works for this). If her parents are paying dig out and include all of your mates.

[Minor_Threat]

How many did you have? 2 - Determined by # bridesmaids
What relationship were they to you? Lived across the road
How long had you known them? 25 years
How regularly did you see them at the time? Maybe 3-4 times a year (Due to moving away large distances)
What made you choose them? They were my best mates and had the best times with them
How much do you see them now? Maybe 3-4 times a year (Due to moving away large distances)

[Courty]

How many did you have?

3

What relationship were they to you?

2 (including best man) were my best mates. The third was my BIL-to-be (also a mate).

How long had you known them?

At that time I'd known the best man about 10 yrs and the other 2 around 7 yrs.

How regularly did you see them at the time?

I saw the 2 groomsman almost daily (we worked in the same industry) and my best man several times a week.

What made you choose them?

My BIL was pretty much the choice of my bride (not that I had a problem with that anyway), but the other 2 were an obvious choice as we were so tight as friends.

How much do you see them now?

My best man lives in London so I've only seen him 3 times in the last 7 years although we keep in touch via email & Skype. The other groomsman moved to Brisbane about 2 years after the wedding, and now lives in Atlanta. We also keep in touch via email & Skype. My BIL lives less than a km away and we catch up about twice a week.

[LarryLong]

Jack got it in one. I had 2 because Wifey wanted two. Best man I had known since high school, 2nd best man was my best mate from uni.

I had an obvious third choice who missed out due to bridesmaid numbers. I pulled him aside and told him he hadn't been picked, and he was over the moon. I think his quote was "That's great, now I'll be able to sit with the boys and sink piss all night".

[Scottt]

Thanks for the replies so far guys and girls.

Of course the good lady and I have discussed the fact that we want to get married, but the actual proposal will be a surprise.

To answer a few questions: we will largely be paying, vut I am told each of our folks has said they'll give us $5K towards the big day.

I guess my concern was what if I ask a mate who is a bit surprised to be asked (ie. he means more to me than I do to him). But you can't obsess about these things, can you?

Re: the question of pageboys/flowergirls ( not you FG ) my partner was a bridesmaid at a wedding about three months ago and the pageboys behaved like absolute little pricks all day, and that very night we vowed to have a "no kids" wedding. The only possible person to be offended by that is my sister (who has two kids), but she had a no kids wedding herself, so she can't really take offense...

Keep it coming, along with any other wedding advice. I'm keen to hear it all.

[Andrew]

I guess my concern was what if I ask a mate who is a bit surprised to be asked (ie. he means more to me than I do to him).

Don't worry mate, I'll never let on

[Scottt]

Only if you bring Vicky

[Grunt]

How Many? 0
We had no guests as we were married in Maui, on the beach @ Wailea.

[goughy]

Re: the question of pageboys/flowergirls ( not you FG ) my partner was a bridesmaid at a wedding about three months ago and the pageboys behaved like absolute little pricks all day, and that very night we vowed to have a "no kids" wedding. The only possible person to be offended by that is my sister (who has two kids), but she had a no kids wedding herself, so she can't really take offense...

Keep it coming, along with any other wedding advice. I'm keen to hear it all.

As much as you say it won't affect any bar your sister, be prepared for some to be offended. But it's your wedding, not theirs so too bad for them. If it's such an issue for them then do they really want to come to your wedding?

My sister had a no kids wedding too, and Jasmine was 9months at the time. But my sister pulled me aside (metaphorically!!) and said in no uncertain terms that Jas was coming to the wedding, just no one elses! At that time Jas was the only child in all our families so she had no other direct relatives to piss off with the decision. But she did want family there.

[senecio]

No Groomsmen, No Bridesmaids. Only 8 guests in total at our wedding.

My sister and her brother acted as our witnesses.

Nice, simple and cheap!!

[Minor_Threat]

We had 1 pageboy and with his little brother they were the only 2 kids at our wedding. They were my wifes brothers kids and they were travelling from Vic to NSW. Some people were offended at no kids policy, but I wasn't bothered anyway (Besides I'm putting on a free pissup who can complain?)

[Andrew]

Only if you bring Vicky

Will you have enough time before the ceremony?