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poidda
11th January 2008, 01:18 PM
IPSWICH APPEAL

Hurricane Shazza hit Ipswich in the early hours of Monday 26th
November 2007. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering 'Faaackinell'.

The hurricane devastated the area causing approximately $30 worth ofdamage. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.Manylocals were woken well before their Centrelink cheques arrived. The Ipswich Times reported that hundreds of residents were confused andbewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact thatsomething interesting had happened in Ipswich.

One resident - Tracy Maree Sharon Britney Madonna Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two Joachim and River slept through it all".

Apparently, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal. The Australian Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Bacardi-Breezers to the area to help the stricken locals.

Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found
large quantities of personal belongings, including Health Care Cards,
Jewellery from Kmart, and Bone China from Big W.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most
sought after - items most needed include:

flannelette shirts,
tightblue jeans or spandex,
singlets (blue & white),
white sport socks,
Ugg boots
and any other items usually sold in Priceline or The Reject Shop.

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.Required foodstuffs urgently needed include: Microwave meals, Bakedbeans, Ice cream, Chips, Fizzy drinks.

Donations of $15.00 will be taken to buy a packet of winny blue 25s anda lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

**Breaking news**

Ipswich Uniting Church has cancelled their local 'Nativity Display'
due to their inability to find three wise men or a virgin.

Please don't show this to anyone living in Ipswich
- oh, stuff it, they won'tbe able to read it, anyway!


For the record, this wasn't meant to offend you Vegas! :)

just
11th January 2008, 01:23 PM
:lol:

BrisVegas
11th January 2008, 01:53 PM
Please don't show this to anyone living in Ipswich
- oh, stuff it, they won'tbe able to read it, anyway!


For the record, this wasn't meant to offend you Vegas! :)

I'm not offended. But don't start putting shit on Toowoomba. :evil: Moe is most likely to be offended.... he's an Ippy Grammar boy.

markTHEblake
11th January 2008, 02:12 PM
has anyone found Pete yet?


p.s. If your gunna use a yankee joke, its a good idea to remove the american english and replace with Australian :lol: