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Johnny Canuck
28th April 2016, 01:35 AM
'Nuckbet TM Presents 2016 GSM Champs Betting Odds:


G Mother****ing K:

Why He'll Win: When he is on, GK is one of the best putters on tour, as evidenced by his 24 putts at Busso last year. He is also brothers with NK, and bagging runs in the family. One only needs to look at GK winning Vic Champs by 47 points to see that his cap is just a lot too high.

Why He Won't Win: Last time we checked, golf courses still had bunkers, golf club still had hosels and GK was as scared as a Fresh Lobster when Tourfit walks into a restaurant when it comes time to hit driver.

'Nuckbet Odds: $4.00



IDGolfGuy:

Why He'll Win: The GSM championship has produced a ton of first time winners and ID has a lot to do with tons, having raised the bat twice last year and, well, being known to be a little "portly". He has had some good finishes in prior years and should be able to compete without having to worry about the Maxibon shirt as Ashby is in the field. The expert at 'Nuckbet considers ID a dark horse, no racist, to compete this year, although his odds won't reflect it as he won't see much betting action.

Why He Won't Win: ID is known to get very bored on greens (not just when waiting for JC to read putts), and is prone to 3 putting and picking up in 8 seconds flat. His mind is known to wander, as is he when making conference calls to Dell on iPads disguised as phones. It's impossible to be balanced over shots with 7 pounds of phone in your back pocket. If he puts Tourfit's lunch in his other pocket, lookout!


'Nuckbet Odds: $7.50



Simmsy:

Why He'll Win: He plays more golf than anyone on tour. He has a solid, all around game and will know the courses well as he'll arrive at 3:30am to study the greens and pins placements. He is another old dog, looking for his maiden victory.

Why He Won't Win: The knock against OMS is that he can never put two solid rounds together. He is capable of being the day one leader by 5, and losing by 14, a leaderboard move known simplly as "The Hocko". Brad makes a habit of picking up before he is actually out of shots and one point could be the difference between him being a grumpy old bastard, and being a grumpy old bastard holding a trophy (if the trophy wasn't sold to Cash Converters). If he's in contention on Sunday and coming down 18, go and grab a beer, or take a leak because the course ends with a par 5 and BS will be laying up.

'Nuckbet Odds: $6.30



Lefty Hoges:

Why He'll Win: He is a talented player and easily the luckiest man in the field. Lately, he's been known around the traps as "Hawthorn Hoges", as every call or bounce seems to go his way. He has also done some serious bagging since the last champs, so look for him in the final group on Sunday.

Why He Won't Win: There are some serious skeletons in the greenskeepers' shed beside the 8th tee at Meadow Springs. Even if he makes it past 8, he can still hosel it back into the water off the 9th tee. Hawthorn has also never seen a putt that he shouldn't drop. The boy can get down on himself and is prone to breaking things. That being said, he is still one of the top dogs for the weekend.

'Nuckbet Odds: $3.90



Ashes:

Why He'll Win:


Why He Won't Win: A general lack of co-ordination has plagued Ashes since childhood. In gym class, he was the kid that when playing volleyball, locked his arms into position at the start of class and never relinquished the grip until class was over. One can only wonder if his forward press will break any additional shafts, or if he'll have enough golf balls to attempt to play 36 holes. At some point in both rounds, his playing partners will surely say "Thank **** it's stableford".

'Nuckbet Odds: $101



Shadesy:

Why He'll Win: Heaf comes into the event playing decent golf and holds home course advantage. He has bagged Simmsy, and also let his handicap drift out. A serious contender who generally performs well on champs weekend.


Why He Won't Win: A rumoured pairing with Team AshFitTard on Friday is enough to make any man nervous. 18 holes of Tourfit swing advice, straight from Carnoustie will have Heaf blowing leaves well before sundown. Last year Heaf was under prepared and not ready for his tee time. Hopefully, this doesn't happy again.

'Nuckbet Odds: $4.20



ALDO:

Why He'll Win: The straightest driver in tour history is making a return after a 5 year hiatus. He still hits the ball as straight as ever and has a few shots up his sleeve to play with.


Why He Won't Win: Aldo's overall game has more rust on it that Tourfit's treadmill; "That's a lot of rust, Roge". The good people at 'Nuckbet scouted him last week and he'd be playing great, only to have things go pear shaped quicker than Fit could say "Trench Jones". Could be an early favourite for 2017, if he doesn't take another 5 year hiatus.

'Nuckbet Odds: $9.60


JC:

Why He'll Win: The only two time winner in champs history usually puts in a good showing on champs weekend, and also plays some decent golf. He is The People's Champ, so he'll have the support of millions and millions of So-Rock's fans to help him along.


Why He Won't Win: Unlike previous years, The Humble 4 Capper doesn't have 4 shots to play with, which is disappoint. Also, he hasn't seen a lucky bounce since the 11th hole at Kennedy Bay, about 4 years ago. Look for him to be in the mix, but fall a little short on Sunday.

'Nuckbet Odds: $5.22


Yoss:

Why He'll Win: The Yoss man has finally joined an Adult golf club, so he'll be ready for what the weekend has to offer. Generally a good driver of the ball, he should be able to get around both courses without too much drama. There is good value betting to be had here folks.


Why He Won't Win: He carries a putter that the rest of the tour calls "Parkinson's" due to it's Sunday shakiness. He's never been a particularly good front runner, and although very experienced, he isn't very good at coming from behind either. If by any chance he is leading on Sunday, 'Nuckbet expects any backers to cash out early on this one.

'Nuckbet Odds: $7.00


UnFitBit:

Why He'll Win: Tourfit is a solid golfer who has a little too much handicap for my liking. He doesn't really have a weakness around the golf course, other than his disdain for using chairs at meal times. If he is in the final group on Sunday, he'll have the advantage of having both of his playing partners developing splitting headaches very early in the round.


Why He Won't Win: Tourfit can easily put too much thought into choosing a putter. Chances are, he'll show up to the practice green with 6 to choose from on each day. Fit has also built new clubs and rumour has it that it may have been a bad batch of glue that was used to assemble them. When his playing partners show up on Sunday wearing hardhats and earplugs, people will wonder what the Kwinana members are doing that far south.

'Nuckbet Odds: $3.75 (favourite)


Good luck to all punters and golfers from the good people at 'Nuckbet.

Courty
28th April 2016, 04:53 AM
I'll have $50 on Shadesy, and a $5 roughio on Adlo. 8)

PeteyD
28th April 2016, 05:21 AM
Go yoss.

simmsy
28th April 2016, 08:08 AM
Nice work Canuckbet.
I think you were a little too kind on me though. My last two scores are 26&25 points with no signs of improvement.


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TourFit
28th April 2016, 08:08 AM
You stole Yoss's line Pete!!!

And Me THE FAVOURITE :shock:... YOU'RE HAVING A LARF!!!

Johnny Canuck
28th April 2016, 08:13 AM
You stole Yoss's line Pete!!!

And Me THE FAVOURITE :shock:... YOU'RE HAVING A LARF!!!

'Nuckbet will not accept place bets for you. They would be a lock.

This is yours to lose.

TourFit
28th April 2016, 08:30 AM
Nice work Canuckbet.
I think you were a little too kind on me though. My last two scores are 26&25 points with no signs of improvement.

It's that sort of consistency that will win it OMS

idgolfguy
28th April 2016, 08:49 AM
Great read! Well played and accurate!


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TourFit
28th April 2016, 10:16 AM
Fit has also built new clubs and rumour has it that it may have been a bad batch of glue that was used to assemble them.


That glue has been set aside for some time... with "Brad ONLY" written on it!!!

Yossarian
28th April 2016, 10:19 AM
I'm a good puttah.

Shadesy
28th April 2016, 10:19 AM
Rolled gold as usual Canuck. Love the timing, knowing a few crown royals were consumed.

Courty
1st May 2016, 07:25 PM
I'll have $50 on Shadesy. 8)

Cha-ching!!! :mrgreen:

Captain Nemo
1st May 2016, 07:40 PM
When was this on?

Yossarian
1st May 2016, 07:43 PM
.

Shadesy
1st May 2016, 10:57 PM
Cha-ching!!! :mrgreen:

Very astute. How deep are nuckbets pockets?

LeftyHoges
5th May 2016, 01:21 PM
JC:

Why He'll Win: The only two time winner in champs history usually puts in a good showing on champs weekend, and also plays some decent golf. He is The People's Champ, so he'll have the support of millions and millions of So-Rock's fans to help him along.


Why He Won't Win: Unlike previous years, The Humble 4 Capper doesn't have 4 shots to play with, which is disappoint. Also, he hasn't seen a lucky bounce since the 11th hole at Kennedy Bay, about 4 years ago. Look for him to be in the mix, but fall a little short on Sunday.

'Nuckbet Odds: $5.22

Ummmm, a LITTLE short!?!?

You were shorter than Nuffie and Juffie halved, my friend.

Johnny Canuck
5th May 2016, 01:25 PM
Ummmm, a LITTLE short!?!?

You were shorter than Nuffie and Juffie halved, my friend.

My knee!

LeftyHoges
5th May 2016, 01:37 PM
My knee!

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