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wazamac
29th May 2015, 08:17 AM
My Golf Book

Folks, I have written a book and am quite proud of the results and, in order to market the
publication, I'm asking friends and family to spread the news about this essential read.

This book on golf gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained
through my 15+ years of golfing experience.

Highlights include:

Chapter 1) How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt

Chapter 2) How to Hit a Maxfli ball from the Rough When You Just Hit a Titleist from the Tee

Chapter 3) How to Get More Distance off the Shank

Chapter 4) When to Give the Curator the Finger

Chapter 5) Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 am

Chapter 6) How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water

Chapter 7) How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three off the Tee

Chapter 8. How to Relax When You Are Hitting Five off the Tee

Chapter 9) When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent


The book also includes some GOLF TERMINOLOGY

A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole

A Diego Maradonna - a nasty 5 footer

A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read

A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't

A Cuban - needs one more revolution

An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim

An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker

A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand

A Kate Moss - bit thin

A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional

A Brazilian - Just shaved the hole

A Rodney King - overclubbed

An O. J. Simpson - got away with it

A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver

A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver

A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems

An Elephant's arse - high and shitty

A Condom - safe but didn't feel real good

A Sister-in-law - you're up there but you know you shouldn't be

;)

Dangals
29th May 2015, 08:30 AM
Bound to be an instant hit with this crowd 😁

Captain Nemo
29th May 2015, 08:35 AM
You forgot the on course gambling chapter?

hack7250
29th May 2015, 08:35 AM
Where do I get a copy

3oneday
29th May 2015, 08:42 AM
I hope you have a celebrity paragraph in there from ihavenoidea atall.

Johnny Canuck
29th May 2015, 09:13 AM
You will get busted for plagiarism.

Rubin clearly wrote Chapter 2.

Changing the ball from a Nike to a Titleist has fooled no one

Shreko
29th May 2015, 10:05 PM
Friggin in tears reading the chapters alone!!!! I will buy a couple of copies when launched!!!!!

markTHEblake
29th May 2015, 10:22 PM
I have read that book already, but that one had Cathy Freeman in it.

BayBum
30th May 2015, 07:17 PM
POTY for Waza