Golf related suicide - how would you do it?

[Webster]

Following on here from Mububban's excellent thread on assisted dying/euthanasia.

Let's say you have decided that your time is up and you want to go out in style with a golf theme. But how would you do it?

Crushed to death by your falling stockpile of tour only Scotty Cameron putters?
Committ hari-kari with a sharpened Japanese JDM driver shaft?
Drowned in the water hazard by the 17th at Sawgrass TPC?
Blunt force trauma delivered to your temple by a PING copper 1 iron?

Personally, I'd probably choose to be asphyxiated between Michelle Wies clenched thighs while she was standing over a testing 6 foot putt to win the womens British Open (I am a traditionalist though).

What would you do?

[sms316]

I'd play all 36 holes at Nudgee. A slow painful death would be the way.

[Peter]

Shank into tree, ricochet into temple.

[backintheswing]

I'll have to think about it a while. But at last a thread I might read.

[Ferrins]

I think PeteyD would of gladly assisted me the other day when I flicked roo scat at his precious children.

[Johnny Canuck]

Shank into tree, ricochet into temple.

Yoss already tried that. Someone needs to bump the thread.

[sms316]

Could always jump off the Gateway Bridge like a few others do each year but instead of going for the river go for the 5th tee at RQ.

[Peter]

Yoss already tried that. Someone needs to bump the thread.Failed suicide attempt?That thread was a classic.

[Johnny Canuck]

Failed suicide attempt?That thread was a classic.

Golf ball to the eye.

[benno_r]

Personally, I'd probably choose to be asphyxiated between Michelle Wies clenched thighs while she was standing over a testing 6 foot putt to win the womens British Open (I am a traditionalist though).

You reckon she'd be up for it twice?

[Hatchman]

Punch hook close to tree snaps shaft on follow through opening jugular and bleed out.

[WBennett]

Dukes of Hazard Style Golf Buggy jump. Across Sydney Harbour.

[Johnny Canuck]

Steal Laura Davies cheeseburgers.

[Daves]

Punch hook close to tree snaps shaft on follow through opening jugular and bleed out.

Wouldn't it be easier to simply answer back your Mrs? Icicle Deathrays would be much quicker and cleaner I would have thought!:lol:

[Captain Nemo]

I'll go your first option Jack.

[sms316]

Overdosing on pleasure in the OZgolf chill room.

[Yossarian]

Failed suicide attempt?That thread was a classic.

I just wanted the cyber bullying to end.

[Lobsta]

1. Play a round with Ferret and do absolutely everything he tells you to.
2. Find a particularly nasty loan shark, get him to finance you matching every ozgolfer purchase for purchase in the pro shop. Should only last a few weeks
3. Nitro glycerine filled golf balls

[Shreko]

Shooting 63 at augusta playing with tigger, norman, and jennifer love hewitt, then having heart attack during special hugs with jen. I may be putting too much thought in this though

[simmsy]

Play golf with Mububban while he details his 18 points on how to fix Australia.

[MegaWatty]

Play golf with Mububban while he details his 18 points on how to fix Australia.

You'd be expected to pay for his round mate.

[Lobsta]

You'd be expected to pay for his round mate.

Only $7 though

[MegaWatty]

Only $7 though

Oh yeah. But Simmsy would get $5 back.

[Lobsta]

Oh yeah. But Simmsy would get $5 back.

Once he turns 70

[MegaWatty]

Once he turns 70

If he uses Baby Panadol.

[Lobsta]

If he uses Baby Panadol.

Nah, that shit gives you Autism

[Buzz]

Dukes of Hazard Style Golf Buggy jump. Across Sydney Harbour.

With appropriate theme music.

[MegaWatty]

Nah, that shit gives you Autism

Oh yeah. Nitrogen is the shit.

Edit: and Nurofen! :)

[Johnny Canuck]

You'd be expected to pay for his round mate.


Only $7 though


Oh yeah. But Simmsy would get $5 back.


Once he turns 70


If he uses Baby Panadol.


Nah, that shit gives you Autism

Did the immunisation make you guys retarded? (And funny)

[MegaWatty]

Did the immunisation make you guys retarded? (And funny)

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/14/05/21/4u8a4yhy.jpg

[Lobsta]

Did the immunisation make you guys retarded? (And funny)

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/14/05/21/esega6u3.jpg

[Johnny Canuck]

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/14/05/21/esega6u3.jpg

I lol'd.

And, that's what Rubes said.

[Coldtopper]

I'd play all 36 holes at Nudgee. A slow painful death would be the way. Oh no that woukd be a bad way to go just the thaught of playing 36 would see me vist Dr Nitsche before starting the round. Only thing worst would be having mates who have played there!

[qbnchopper]

Hmmmm .... being trampled to death trying to stand in between Tiges and some skanky hoes

[3oneday]

Death by Laura, or Karrie.

[Dotty]

Making a porno movie with Julia Zemiro wearing golf shoes.

[Mububban]

Many lols were had by myself reading this thread :)

Death by Michelle Wie does sound pretty good.

[BenM]

Shooting a PB round (preferably even par or better, though it would require do-overs, mulligans, and foot wedges at the very least, but that's okay, I'm only cheating myself, right?) and then killing myself with alcohol poisoning in the clubhouse.

[Shadesy]

Getting shot by SmS in a fit of jealousy as I tagged Karrie from behind.

[sms316]

Getting shot by SmS in a fit of jealousy as I tagged Karrie from behind. Spit roast?

[Peter]

Not sure that was the shot Shadesy was referring to.

[Haystacks]

Getting shot by SmS in a fit of jealousy as I tagged Karrie from behind with a broomstick putter

FTFY

[WBennett]

Heart attack after an evening of comforting Caroline Wozniacki after her unfortunate beakup.

[Lobsta]

Getting shot by SmS in a fit of jealousy as I tagged Karrie from behind* with a broomstick putter


FTFY

FTFY

[Haystacks]

Getting shot by SmS in a fit of jealousy as I tagged Karrie from behind* with a broomstick putter.


FTFY


FTFY

Nice placement with the starfish Lobby, but I think it would be much bigger than that...

[BrisWesty]

Who was it drowned their golf buggy in a dam? I was going to suggest being gaffer taped to their bag and let their bad steering take its toll. Would only be a matter of time. (Or should this be in the "assisted" thread?)

[MegaWatty]

Who was it drowned their golf buggy in a dam? I was going to suggest being gaffer taped to their bag and let their bad steering take its toll. Would only be a matter of time. (Or should this be in the "assisted" thread?)

That would be JC.

[sms316]

That would be JC. JC would just walk on water wouldn't he?

[idgolfguy]

Being beaten up at Kennedy Bay by staff because I brought my own lunch.

[benno_r]

Who was it drowned their golf buggy in a dam? I was going to suggest being gaffer taped to their bag and let their bad steering take its toll. Would only be a matter of time. (Or should this be in the "assisted" thread?)

I had to help rescue a bloke who had tried to stop his buggy and buggy trailer from heading into a dam. The draw bar had him pinned under, his mouth barely above the waterline.

I wonder if he would have chosen Michelle Wie's thighs if he had his time again.

[Waddzy]

Standing on the right side during a round with Shavey. Preferably while shooting a couple under.

[Monsta]

1: Getting struck by lightning on the 16th at Augusta (not really likely to happen)

2: Keeping Spud in Melbourne an extra day or two before/after the Vic champs and having his wife shoot us both (very likely to happen if Spud ever grows a pair) :wink:

[Golfwhang]

Shooting 63 at augusta playing with tigger, norman, and jennifer love hewitt, then having heart attack during special hugs with jen. I may be putting too much thought in this though +1

[Shreko]

Shooting 63 at augusta playing with tigger, norman, and jennifer love hewitt, then having heart attack during special hugs with jen. I may be putting too much thought in this though
+1

only sloppy seconds, not sharing!!!!!!!