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View Full Version : Shank me baby, Shank me. This weeks dummy spit tale



stealth2
8th January 2014, 09:22 PM
For the purpose of this post the person this has been written about will be named Toro. As in Toro the raging bull.

It was going to be a beautiful afternoon out at Lynwood practice facilities Monday after work. The sun was out, the birds were singing, my favorite song was playing on the radio as I drove into the car park.

As I slowly pulled in, carefully surveying who was out there I noted one of the cool cats I know, was just about to take a swing. Shank. Oops I though to myself. Shank again. Oouch and Oops again I thought this time.

Shank
Shank
Shank

One after the other. What the crap was going on I am thinking. So I wander over to get a closer look at the single figured marker going through a rough time.

Frustration was very evident on his face. I might have detected just a hint of water in the eyes. Just a hint. A few guys around him thought it a good time to take the piss. Having just come out the other side of the dreaded shanks I thought about taking the piss also but held back on giving him too much shit.

Toro, typically a calm man, had by this stage clear rage in his veins. After recently just having a lesson and believing things were turning around. BUT today it was simply;

Shank after, Shank, after shank.

This went on for a few more minutes. I wanted to also do some practice but for fear of getting a ball wedged in my arse from one of these shanks I hung back and watched a little longer, noting he did not have many balls left to hit.

Toro without warning with a 9 iron in hand swung at his stand bag. His swing was a little out to in but he did keep the right arm tucked in tight so it could be said this might have been the best swing he did all afternoon.

Toro gave a thunderous strike to his bag, shortly after blurting out the words “I cannot believe this... I have practiced so hard over the last 4 months, this is just not right. I give up. Done......” Toro walked away for a minute to compose himself but soon realized that the strike had snapped the shafts of his Hybrid, his 3 wood and much dearly loved driver shaft and bent the 9 iron of his gorgeous looking irons.

A lot of sadness ensued. Then a lot of shank after shank, after shank, before enough was enough and Toro calmly packed up and went home to most likely take some Valium washed down with several beers (well that's what I did a few months ago when I had the SHANKS) and calm down.

One of the guys near him swiftly asked him that since he was DONE would he be interested in selling his irons to him. Except for the bent 9 iron. LOL

The moral of this story: Yes the shanks are frustrating. BUT if you choose to get a little fragile and take it out on your carry bag, please make a precise strike a little lower next time as to use my shaft puller there needs to be adequate shaft left for my machine to clasp onto something. With enough shaft left it will make it much easier and faster for me to repair next time without having to manual drill out the shaft.

Toro, hang in there. Whilst there were minimal signs of improvement the next afternoon, I did see one or two shots from you out of the hundred I watched that shows there is some hope still left for you. Thank you so much for making the last few afternoons so highly entertaining. Were all rooting for you bud.

Mac.

Captain Nemo
8th January 2014, 09:24 PM
Ozgolf member?
Prizes for guessing..... ;)

sms316
8th January 2014, 09:29 PM
Shanks are funny. Chronic multiple shanks are freakin hilarious.

Captain Nemo
8th January 2014, 09:35 PM
Mac, should have taken a vid on your phone!

blurry
8th January 2014, 09:46 PM
been there , done that, next time your at Penrith Mac ,ask Ray in the pro shop if hes ever seen anyone shank every ball in his shag bag. you do feel small when you pick practice balls up from the middle of the 18th fairway. although after 9 or 10 I was killing myself laughing and so was Ray

stealth2
8th January 2014, 09:46 PM
Yep Ozgolf member. I will film him tomorrow. Doubt too much will change between now and then. Sorry Toro I am having a lot of fun at your expense.

liptout
8th January 2014, 09:50 PM
Thought for a second you could have been talking about me mate till you mentioned that 'practise' word...

I hit no less that 6 in my round at Windsor today, but had a Hole In One on the 13th so screw it. I'll take plenty more hosels if I can hole out in one again!! :D

BenM
8th January 2014, 09:51 PM
Hahaha hah ha ha....

He will laugh about it one day. But today is not that day... not for him.

I saw a mate hit about 5 in a row one day, that was funny enough. He actually approached this par 3 in like a question mark shape. Shank right of fairway off tee. Shank right of green with second. Shank right with third, ended up behind the green. Shank right with fourth, by now he is on the left hand side of the green. Think he managed to chip it on after that (and it was actually a harder shot, over a bunker).

Courty
8th January 2014, 09:58 PM
I was on the range talking to a low marker one day.
He had the shanks real bad, but wasn't angry or even frustrated, just completely bewildered as to why it was happening. I couldn't understand it, I would have snapped every club in the bag if I ever got that bad.
He ended up giving golf away for a few months and when he came back, voila! No shanks!

Captain Nemo
8th January 2014, 10:04 PM
Yep Ozgolf member. I will film him tomorrow. Doubt too much will change between now and then. Sorry Toro I am having a lot of fun at your expense.
I have my suspicions...

mrbluu
9th January 2014, 12:06 AM
Thought for a second you could have been talking about me mate till you mentioned that 'practise' word...

I hit no less that 6 in my round at Windsor today, but had a Hole In One on the 13th so screw it. I'll take plenty more hosels if I can hole out in one again!! :D

Well done mate, have you visited the other thread yet??

matty
9th January 2014, 07:01 AM
I'm taking a stab at it being Rqrox. Poor old Dicky. I can see him getting royally pissed off!!
Working on his game in secret. No wonder he hasn't been seen around these parts for a while.

Am I right Macca?
Prize?

matty
9th January 2014, 07:02 AM
Thought for a second you could have been talking about me mate till you mentioned that 'practise' word...

I hit no less that 6 in my round at Windsor today, but had a Hole In One on the 13th so screw it. I'll take plenty more hosels if I can hole out in one again!! :D

Unreal mate! Unfortunately you peaked about 10 days early.
Please tell us all about it in the other thread.

mrbluu
9th January 2014, 08:13 AM
Thought for a second you could have been talking about me mate till you mentioned that 'practise' word...

I hit no less that 6 in my round at Windsor today, but had a Hole In One on the 13th so screw it. I'll take plenty more hosels if I can hole out in one again!! :D

Did u update the other thread as well????:D

Nestservices
9th January 2014, 01:44 PM
Hey Mac
is Toro left handed by any chance?
Crazy

Blade Junkie
9th January 2014, 03:57 PM
I was at Lynwood on Sunday and Toro was so excited after his recent lesson which had put him on the right track. Unfortunately I was also there on Monday and bore witness to Toro's slide into the golfing abyss and his statement that his was giving this f**king game away. I was equally pleased to see him back there the following day in his attempt to dig (excuse the pun) his way out of the rather substantial divot that he found himself in. He's not quite there yet but I'm confident he's on his way back.
Don't forget Toro..... there's nothing quite like a good shank

Peter
9th January 2014, 04:06 PM
Thought for a second you could have been talking about me mate till you mentioned that 'practise' word...I hit no less that 6 in my round at Windsor today, but had a Hole In One on the 13th so screw it. I'll take plenty more hosels if I can hole out in one again!! :DWere you playing 13 at the time or an adjacent hole?

liptout
9th January 2014, 05:02 PM
Were you playing 13 at the time or an adjacent hole?

I holed the tee shot on 13 mate, but had the shanks on the 12 previous holes.......

Captain Nemo
9th January 2014, 05:31 PM
Looks like a few new Lynwood members on here....

AndyP
9th January 2014, 06:46 PM
Looks like a few new Lynwood members on here....
Is that a good or bad thing?

SirTop
9th January 2014, 07:13 PM
You guys realise that just by reading this thread it threatens to infect us all well???

Sirshankallot here, well was for 8 straight weeks running. Matty and Mrbluu can vouch for it being no more

Hope he gets over it, I hear splashing of holy water over the bag was done by a pro a few years back

stealth2
9th January 2014, 08:00 PM
Confirm it is not rqrox. Just quietly I played with rqrox last Friday and his game is in as good a shape as you could ask for. 39 point off 8, down to 7 then I heard he backed it up with a +3 at Lynwood the following day. Rqrox's game is rocking and certianly he is not Toro. ha ha keep guessing Matty.

matty
9th January 2014, 08:22 PM
Do i know him?

KristianJ
9th January 2014, 08:28 PM
Confirm it is not rqrox. Just quietly I played with rqrox last Friday and his game is in as good a shape as you could ask for. 39 point off 8, down to 7 then I heard he backed it up with a +3 at Lynwood the following day. Rqrox's game is rocking and certianly he is not Toro. ha ha keep guessing Matty. Dicky doesn't need hybrids so I knew it wasn't him..

liptout
9th January 2014, 08:38 PM
Do i know him?

It's more a case of someone needs to own up.....

C'mon, own up..... It's good for the soul.

You know you really want too..... :)

JADO75
9th January 2014, 08:39 PM
Definitely not Dicky, funny story Big Mack

live4golf
9th January 2014, 08:40 PM
maybe it is written in a 3rd person perspective?...you know, I have a 'friend' who blah blah blah :)

LeftyHoges
9th January 2014, 11:34 PM
Haysey has Maysey, Liptout has yiptout.

Dotty
10th January 2014, 06:28 PM
Is Toro on holidays from the Gold Coast?

stealth2
10th January 2014, 09:51 PM
Sorry guys I cannot give up a name at this point in time. I did though stand behind him to and film him today. Today he was a different golfer and no shanks. He my have self cured over night. I know Toro has been watching this forum so he may make an showing soon.

Bigship
13th January 2014, 07:13 PM
I know him very well, I also will not give him up, but on occasions he requires a cuddle........... I played with him yesterday, I feel he may have slipped back a cog or too.......
He always bounces back like a true fighter.

mrbluu
24th February 2014, 09:11 AM
Sorry guys I cannot give up a name at this point in time. I did though stand behind him to and film him today. Today he was a different golfer and no shanks. He my have self cured over night. I know Toro has been watching this forum so he may make an showing soon.

Do we have a name yet??

KristianJ
31st August 2014, 06:15 PM
Did this as yet unnamed member become known to some of us today by any chance??

3oneday
31st August 2014, 07:43 PM
Played with a guy yesterday who hurled his lob wedge into a pond, bout 50 metres, **** it was funny :lol: Walked past and you could see the tip of the grip sticking out :)

He wanted me to go help him after the round to fish it out, told him to get ****ed :lol:

He went back this morning and retrieved it.