The Ozgolf Haiku Thread

[Yossarian]

Post your ozgolf related haiku here.

[Lagerlover]

There once was a girl with angina...

[PeteyD]

That is a limerick you uncultured baboon

[3Puttpete]

There once was a girl with angina...

You big silly

[backintheswing]

Pungent smell -
the cropduster's arse
Performing again

[Lagerlover]

Nice linking to my Japanese limerick BITS..

[Lagerlover]

i hate you haiku
you are very hard to do
go back to japan

[backintheswing]

Very traditional there LL with the 5-7-5 syllable split.

[3Puttpete]

A girl angina
Lagerlover a haiku
This could end with points

[Dcanto]

A girl anginaLagerlover a haikuThis could end with points Gold.

[Ron Burgundy]

Curse you bastard shank
Score inflates while shoulders sag
Much laughter from mates

[sms316]

Hippopotamus
Anti-hippopotamus
Annihilation

[sms316]

Scott Hend is on fire
Someone call the fire brigade
Hazard reduction

[sms316]

Scarfie conquered game
But it wasn't in a comp
Internet shit fight

[Lagerlover]

Eyes burning from stench
The sound of two cheeks clapping
Thursday curry night

[Marto65]

Putt goes in
Putt stays out,putt goes in
Shake it all about

[sms316]

Watty plays final hole
Playing a better ball four
Oh shit that's a two!

[sms316]

Nullarbor Cup II
You wascally wabbitt Nuck
Now zero-for-two

[Marto65]

A putt to win champs
Everything goes in the heart
The ball and the knives.

[sms316]

Rain rain go away
Course underwater again
Welcome to Nudgee

[sms316]

Lagerlover rocks
My favourite poster now
For shanks are funny

[sms316]

Rife putter for sale
Marto keen to pay top coin
Perci don't do pics

[IamViva]

sms quite the poet
counting syllables is shit
haiku go get ****ed

[sms316]

The white, the off white
Ivory cream bone and beige
AndyP's wardrobe

[IamViva]

Haiku for lefty

went to ozgolf champs
had lowest score for two rounds
only a merit bar :(


edit - alternatively "Did not win a prize" also works on the last line...

[backintheswing]

Madboarder he posts
On ozgolf on lots of things
None I understand

[IamViva]

Madboarder he posts
On ozgolf on lots of things
None I understand

#onfire

[Daves]

A spring Haiku,
Haiku for all of you
except Lager, big poo

[BenM]

Chunked shot on par three
Iron flung in frustration
Count the two pieces

[3Puttpete]

Three putts or the shanks
No hosel no hosel nooooo
I will putt putt putt

[Dotty]

Aussie wins Masters
With embarrassing putter
Add an asterisk

[Marto65]

Fat kid from Beenleigh
how your mouth works overtime
lucky north queensland

[sms316]

Miranda hot chick
Dicky post photos of nude
Infraction points come

[BenM]

Fat kid from Beenleigh
how your mouth works overtime
lucky north queensland

Roffle.

[Marto65]

Mint Cond. Shiny Irons
Bought with anticipation
Sad. NWRNTY

[Lagerlover]

A spring Haiku,
Haiku for all of you
except Lager, big poo

Fail

[Courty]

Lefty wins matchplay
Ouzo leads to night on tiles
A bunny is born

[Daves]

Fail

A Haiku hosel?

[Lagerlover]

A Haiku hosel? Haha..yep.

[AndyP]

Pete RS wins Champs
Marto wants anchors applied
But takes advantage

[Daves]

Haha..yep.

I will defer to the king....


A Haiku hosel,
the count ain't quite right
it matters not

[sms316]

Went to WA Champs
Behaviour not normal
Teabagging is norm

[sms316]

Crazy greenkeeper joins
Goes nuts on forum briefly
Mates with Greg Normal

[Dotty]

Marto wins at champs
Paranoid victory speech
Did I miss something?

[LarryLong]

One two three four five
One two three four five six crap!
Haiku irony

Blue shirts confident
Captain misses from two feet
Confederates cheer

[Marto65]

Pete RS wins Champs
Marto wants anchors applied
But takes advantage

I gave the option
Could have killed me off right there
Wouldn't have mattered

[Lagerlover]

Marto wins at champs
Paranoid victory speech
Did I miss something?

Ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha.

[Daves]

life is like a box
chocolate surprises all
Poor Marto's Ping missed out

[Daves]

gathered for some fun
a weekend on the Goldie
the dark knight breaks through

[backintheswing]

Played golf with lefty
At Royal pines - very good course
Wedges were not safe

[sms316]

Zigwah's bro got blind
Two dozen cans of JD
Rolled cart at pro am

[sms316]

Many people wonder
Is mike taller than jarro?
Both shorter than dwarf

[WBennett]

Fat kid from Beenleigh
how your mouth works overtime
lucky north queensland
POTY

[Yossarian]

Rubin gone like spring,
Font of knowledge has run dry
Leaves brown in sadness

[WBennett]

Confederate Win
Was always on the cards
Red Shirts Dominate

[matty]

I obviously need to google haiku.

[sms316]

EddyC Pearl Jam
EddyC is dissident
EddyC hard fk

[Dotty]

Shavey the legend
Very green and surviving
Grunt's blue cheese cropdust

[WBennett]

George Michael avatar
Slightly concerning to all
Broken Heart in West?

[sms316]

Katy Perry's rack
Shown in many fine GIFs
Infraction points come

[Marto65]

Spud drinks for 18
Wont water the dry garden
Selfish with the hose.

[Dotty]

Picture, thousand words.
Katy Perry bum picture,
A million points.

[sms316]

I like big butts but
I cannot lie. You other
Brothers can't deny

[IamViva]

there once was a man
from Nantucket, his **** was
so long could #suckit

[BenM]

Kid from Gatton posts
Many flames are incoming
Can't shit a shitter

[Monsta]

Spud drinks for 18
Wont water the dry garden
Selfish with the hose.

:smt038:smt038:smt038

[Marto65]

Jingle Jingle Coin
Noisy man from Launceston
Beaten by popper.

[Marto65]

Popper sledges fat
Bluu cant miss from twofiddy
Massive target hit

[sms316]

Boobie gif Friday
Now seen at Shanks Are Funny
A wonderfull thing

[Dotty]

A gay marriage thread,
Let them do whatever, but
Not in my backyard

[sms316]

Bake sponge cake, add
chocolate and coconut.
Got a lamington

[popper81]

Fat kid from Beenleigh
how your mouth works overtime
lucky north queensland

Three cheers for Marto

He is a competitive ****

Three cheers for Marto

[popper81]

Popper sledges fat
Bluu cant miss from twofiddy
Massive target hit

Seriously, is this all you have got?

Weak as piss.... Much like your driver swing.


NB.

Marto swings harder at tee blocks than the ball.

[Dotty]

Swear filter testing
**** **** **** **** **** **** ****
Seven from seven

[Marto65]

Seriously, is this all you have got?

Weak as piss.... Much like your driver swing.


NB.

Marto swings harder at tee blocks than the ball.

Big fella bites hard
he should try to keep on theme
Not taught in Logan?

[Marto65]

Seriously, is this all you have got?

No ... I have one of these .. https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/1476261_10152107751432642_1317560005_n.jpg

[3Puttpete]

Friday stuck at work
And dah twenty three dits dah
I want to go home

[AndyP]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/1476261_10152107751432642_1317560005_n.jpg

Look at my pocket
It's the gross winners' money
They ain't getting it

[BenM]

Jingle Jingle Coin
Noisy man from Launceston
Beaten by popper.

lolz

Wins Champs, gets feisty
(Even more than usual)
Clown pants are blinding

[LeftyHoges]

Good golfers quandary
Ozgolf champs should reward skill
Can't sandbag for gross

[sms316]

15th at Pacific
Worst hole in South East Queensland
Or perhaps the world

[Dotty]

Boss getting angry
Waiting on monthly report
#binhwritinghaikus

[BenM]

I'm not working now
Couldn't be stuffed playing golf
Must be over it

[Ron Burgundy]

Ron parties too soon
Pro shop is now 150
Milk was a bad choice

[Johnny Canuck]

Stroking off the blacks
Holes in pockets drop Noodles
Lubin wins again

[Ashes]

Lasering the distance
The Canadian swings his driver
Accident on freeway

[G.K]

Bunkers by the green
Three swings to get out no less
Sandy vagina

[Johnny Canuck]

Lasering the distance
The Canadian swings his driver
Accident on freeway

Nice

[Ron Burgundy]

Bunkers by the greenThree swings to get out no lessSandy vagina Outstanding

[Jackson]

Hitting wedges up onto
The greatest greens in WA
What would Simmsy know

[sms316]

Oh man I am drunk
Greens are better at Kennedy
Tiger Hamilton

[LeftyHoges]

Haiku for lefty

went to ozgolf champs
had lowest score for two rounds
only a merit bar :(


edit - alternatively "Did not win a prize" also works on the last line...

Viva understands
The mental anguish that scars
The boys got ma back!

[Marto65]

It's pissing down here
Glad I'm not playing that game
This website promotes

[Marto65]

Cleans out his Facebook
Gets rid of all the good blokes
No more golf invites.

[sms316]

Homo no homo
Don't let homos get married
Let them live in sin

[Johnny Canuck]

Oh man I am drunk
Greens are better at Kennedy
Tiger Hamilton

This made me lol. I need to tell him this.

[sms316]

dc68
golfer69, Marto
Former jarro mates

[sms316]

Scorecards are needed
Gamebook too clever for some
Excel spreadsheet best

[sms316]

Offered free champs fund
Buy clubs on eBay while broke
Things not learned at school

[Shadesy]

Putter in toilet
Balls on shoulder when sleeping
Revenge is funny

[BenM]

Uses long putter
Keeps on winning tournaments
Victories tainted

[BenM]

Woman with strong calves
Called Tina, in a tight dress
That's not a woman

[sms316]

Dykes on spikes all over
On the ladies pro golf tour
LiquorLand sponsor

[Ashes]

Watching Aussie Open
Have a feeling that something's missing
Haven't seen one jug

[sms316]

Putter is anchored
Cheat stick use an asterisk
Morals are questioned

[sms316]

Rory wins tourney
As cheatstick falters all day
Karma bus smashes Scott

[Ron Burgundy]

Karma is not real
Asterisk, no asterisk
Green jacket is real

[backintheswing]

Sold a lot of stuff
Bought a truckload more of stuff
Too pissed to box up

[BenM]

What is the thing that
Will fix my shitty golf game
The pro shop beckons

[Lagerlover]

love kitchener buns
pasties and vanilla slice
cannot cop the flies

[sms316]

Picture battle thread
Too many boobies posted
AndyP crack the shits

[Marto65]

A hundred metres.
Just to far to run a six.
Wedge. It's not a shank!

[Lagerlover]

A hundred metres.
Just to far to run a six.
Wedge. It's not a shank!

Fail...spelt "too" incorrectly.
Shame, could have been quite witty.

[Marto65]

Grammar Policeman
post your retort in Haiku
more points in the sledge

[sms316]

madboarder is odd
This is a good example
Never go full retard

[Lagerlover]

Grammar Policeman
post your retort in Haiku
more points in the sledge

Sorry. fail dot dot dot
spelt "too" incorrectly shame
could have been quite witty.

[sms316]

Meh true believer
More chance of donut posting
Than direct response

[sms316]

No gross prize, bleat now
Handicap farmers beware
Bleat is pro anchor

[Ron Burgundy]

SMS haikus
Surprisingly good compared
To regular posts

[sms316]

OZgolf chill out room
Relaxing place with your mates
Jarro not getting in

[Marto65]

24 Points at Stab
Kingswood and Spring Valley same
Vic Champs Jack Bauer

[Marto65]

Surely I don't snore
No-one wants to sleep with me
Single room Monsta

[LarryLong]

Silence on the course
Thunder booms in the bedroom
Was that a chainsaw?

[Marto65]

Lives under bridges
Has a pet goat named Billy
madboarder trolling

[sms316]

Ipswich and Christmas
Do not go hand in hand, right?
All members at Nudgee

[Ashes]

Not having roast
Live alone in a caravan
Member at Nudgee

[sms316]

Half of teeth missing
Wear a wifebeater singlet
Member at Nudgee

[sms316]

Drink XXXX Bitter
Wear footy socks on the golf course
Member at Nudgee

[sms316]

Rains for half an hour
Rent submarine as golf cart
Member at Nudgee

[sms316]

Thursday is dole day
Put dole straight through the pokies
Member at Nudgee

[Hatchman]

A pig in lip stick
More attractive than bogan
Member at Nudgee

[Hatchman]

Right handed shanks right
Lefty handed shanks left
Shanks are funny

[sms316]

North Course and South Course
Both tracks boring as bat shit
Member at Nudgee

[sms316]

Hatchman stuffed up streak
On this page the last line says
Member at Nudgee

[Hatchman]

No teeth, hairy, tattooed and stinks
That's just the women
Member at Nudgee

[Hatchman]

Brawl in the car park
Made 5 not 4 on the 18th
Member at Nudgee

[Hatchman]

SMS plays at another
Wishes he was
Member at Nudgee

[sms316]

Call the fire brigade
Hatchman taking piss out of
Members at Nudgee

[Hatchman]

27617

The Sheik from Scrubby Creek
Big hit for Chad Morgan
Member at Nudgee?

[Hatchman]

New idea for reality TV show
I want to be loved
Member at Nudgee

[sms316]

Flannel shirt thrown on
Coupled with best denim jeans
Member at Nudgee

[Hatchman]

Joined for the Pokies
Golfs an excuse
Member at Nudgee

[Hatchman]

Flannel not fluro
Denim is fashion
Member at Nudgee

[Yossarian]

Mud of the winter
Only it is summer right now
Member at Nudgee

[Lobsta]

Haikus are easy
Even people from Gympie
Have seven fingers

[3Puttpete]

Haikus are easy
Even people from Gympie
Have seven fingers

Except for Hatchman
Struggles to count to seven
South Australian

[Johnny Canuck]

Squats in the bushes
Vision towel sacrificed
Member is Nudgee

[sms316]

8 points after 9
Smokes a joint, home in 20
Member at Nudgee

[Jackson]

Rules are flexible
Takes a drop from out of bounds
PGN member

[IamViva]

man with fastest cart
provisional not needed
infamous noodle

[sms316]

Easties meet Westies
Nullarbor Cup now played twice
East 2 lead West nil

[LarryLong]

Red tees in foreground
Swearing videographer
Films for the masses

[Monsta]

Five syllables here
Seven syllables follow
Are you happy now

[sms316]

meh asked straight question
Even started thread for him
Jarro deletes thread

[sms316]

Jarro deletes threads
Jarro deletes Facebook mates
Jarro is cranky

[Shadesy]

Meh out of his depth
Changes name on the Forum
meh is Macjackass

[LeftyHoges]

C v U part I:

Union scum big lead
Fall to pieces on back nine
The South rise again

C v U part II:

PeteyD captain
Solarman as the VC
South rises again!

[Courty]

Confed whip-crackers
So cocky after last win
Karma is a bitch

[simmsy]

Peppas and Andy
Like that friggin Coles Ad says
You going down down

[Waddzy]

Souths getting scared
Recruit sandbagged WAnkers
Union still triumph

[AndyP]

Simmsy talks the talk
No ability to match
Won't walk the walk

[simmsy]

Simmsy needs wheelchair
His back is utter fu-bar
Will still crush union

[coalesce]

Thread mining is fun
Hopefully not long to go
To post 150 (one fifty)

[sms316]

dc68
Coffs Harbour and Bonville
No way he loses

[Yossarian]

Yoss likes the turtles
creatures of the summer surf
Vision tricky underwater.

[sms316]

Hutchy sells top clubs
JDM fetch top dollar
Send in three weeks time

[Lagerlover]

I like balfours pasties
A nice cold slab of west end draught
And a couple of kitcheners to finish
Roll on SA champs.

[Johnny Canuck]

Esky advice please
Flip the cart over again
Is Jake the new Zig?

[KristianJ]

To market went Jim
Tinned tomato thrown at him
Rest in peace, o Jim.

[Lagerlover]

To market went JimTinned tomato thrown at himRest in peace, o Jim. Don't even joke about that sort of thing KJ.

[thecollective]

Oi Oi Lager
Lager Oi Oi
Oi Oi Lager
To The Lager go Oi

[3Puttpete]

Wtf?!