Adult Bum Wipes

[sms316]

Do any OZgolfers use these?

Which brand offers superior performance?

Do you use toilet paper first and then do a final wet wipe?

http://www.getprice.com.au/images/uploadimg/1345/365403.jpg

[Ferrins]

Wash my bum in the laundry sink and then use a micro fibre cloth

[Dotty]

I use parking tickets.

[Webster]

Give em a try SMS and report back with your findings. I just use the cheap Woolies ones. Great for cleaning the golf shoes too.

[muldude]

I use parking tickets.

hahahah

[sms316]

Give em a try SMS and report back with your findings. I just use the cheap Woolies ones. Great for cleaning the golf shoes too. Do you use them for the full service or just for a final freshen up?

[LarryLong]

I'm concerned about the environmental impact.

[Dotty]

There is a picture of dog on Pedigree Meaty Bites packet.

Why do you think the Kleenex product is for human use?

[Jarro]

Cheap Aldi ones are ok too

[Webster]

Do you use them for the full service or just for a final freshen up?

I usually go "all in" with the wipes. I find using paper somewhat harsh, and prone to crack maggots/dingleberrys.


There is a picture of dog on Pedigree Meaty Bites packet.

Why do you think the Kleenex product is for human use?

Mmmmmmmm.....labrador fresh......

[BenM]

Yes and yes. The Kleenex ones.

Let me know if you want more information! :p

[sms316]

Thanks Jack. That's what I needed to know. Do you keep a pack in the car, or do you go outside of your comfort zone away from home?

[BenM]

I keep a pack in the work bag as well as a pack at home... Same reason as Jack.

[Webster]

I always have a pack in the car. They are good for cleaning the dashboard and windows too.

[sms316]

Thanks lads. Sounds like this could be a life changer.

[Captain Nemo]

Bidet all the way for me....
But I do have a packet of these at work in my locker, nothing worse than snapping one off and being uncomfortable for the rest of the day.
Will be a little bit embarrassing on the shopping list once my kids grow up......:roll:

[virge666]

There are days I shouldn't just click on a thread for the hell of it.

This is one of those days...

[Monsta]

There are days I shouldn't just click on a thread for the hell of it.

This is one of those days...

I agree Virge, geez SMS, having a slow day eh????

[sms316]

I agree Virge, geez SMS, having a slow day eh???? This all started from a conversation with my pennant captain. I'm learning something here.

[ddasey]

I agree Virge, geez SMS, having a slow day eh????

Ever worked in Gympie ??

Every days a slow day (both pace of work and speech).

[Vice MC]

Thread stinks

[sms316]

Ever worked in Gympie ??

Every days a slow day (both pace of work and speech).
This is true. Especially when it is under a shite load of water/mud.

[Captain Nemo]

Good thread SMS, I'm posting from the throne and just about to tidy up with a Kleenex in a minute.....:)

[simmsy]

It is an essential piece of equipment especially for the pre-game dump.

[Tomson]

My boss swears by them before a Colonoscopy.

[simmsy]

Really?
Thought he would be clean as due to the prep involved.

[Dotty]

Really?
Thought he would be clean as due to the prep involved.
He means every wipe after taking the Prep-Kit-C, not just the very last wipe.

[Tomson]

Really?
Thought he would be clean as due to the prep involved.

You have to take those tablets that clean you out.. and after a while toilet paper turns into sandpaper.

[Tomson]

See dotty knows what I'm talking about ;)

[idgolfguy]

Bidet all the way for me....
But I do have a packet of these at work in my locker, nothing worse than snapping one off and being uncomfortable for the rest of the day.
Will be a little bit embarrassing on the shopping list once my kids grow up......:roll:

What's a portable bidet look like? A spray and wipe bottle?

[Monsta]

Really?
Thought he would be clean as due to the prep involved.


He means every wipe after taking the Prep-Kit-C, not just the very last wipe.


You have to take those tablets that clean you out.. and after a while toilet paper turns into sandpaper.


See dotty knows what I'm talking about ;)

Ask Spud, he went through this last couple of days,
Seemed very jovial today, maybe he enjoyed it a little bit too much :mrgreen:

[Captain Nemo]

Do they flush ok ?

See pic in the OP, they are "flushable"....
Funny story re Kyle Sandilands.
Heard one of the reasons he got booted out of a fancy mansion he was renting in the Hills District in Sydney was that he used baby wipes to wipe his butt exclusively and blocked up the plumbing......!

[Captain Nemo]

What's a portable bidet look like? A spray and wipe bottle?

Why would one need a protable bidet?

[Tomson]

Ask Spud, he went through this last couple of days,
Seemed very jovial today, maybe he enjoyed it a little bit too much :mrgreen:

I hope they didn't do a Endoscopy afterwards. That would be alittle awkward.

[Monsta]

What's a portable bidet look like? A spray and wipe bottle?


Why would one need a protable bidet?

23203

[Dotty]

I hope they didn't do a Endoscopy afterwards. That would be alittle awkward.
It doesn't matter with Benno.

The two ends are very similar - in look and in function.

[Golfnut]

What's a portable bidet look like? A spray and wipe bottle? Gold!

[Golfnut]

Would one feel strange wiping ones face with these? Preferably before one uses it to wipe ones own ass.

[solarman]

I find the firehose at hayseys works a treat to get crusty bits off and then dry off with a paper towel before using teh wipes.

[Johnny Canuck]

It is an essential piece of equipment especially for the pre-game dump. These have saved me having to shower after the pre game dump. Highly effective in the prevention of "swamp ass". Shadesy keeps a pack in the car, as we have witnessed.

[Hatchman]

Armorall wipes for that shine :)

Take your pick
http://www.armorall.com.au/product-types/wipes/
(http://www.armorall.com.au/product-types/wipes/)

[Dotty]

Armorall wipes for that shine :)

Take your pick
http://www.armorall.com.au/product-types/wipes/
(http://www.armorall.com.au/product-types/wipes/)
No, those are GLASS wipes.

[virge666]

Seems like a simple question...

But what is the difference between a pack of adult bum wipes and a pack of "Wet Ones" ???

[BenM]

Seems like a simple question...

But what is the difference between a pack of adult bum wipes and a pack of "Wet Ones" ???

Wet Ones aren't designed to break down in septic tanks so flushing them would be a bad idea. They probably also contain harsher chemicals.

[Captain Nemo]

Virge, I think SMS is referring to the flushable ones, as opposed to the normal wet ones....
Don't think you should flush normal baby wipes as they don't really breakdown as much and they will clog the **** out of your plumbing, jat...

[Daves]

Adult wipes are indispensable on serious camping trips.

[sms316]

I'm learning plenty in this thread. It is going to open a whole new world around my bum (no homo).

[Captain Nemo]

Oh, trust me, will change your life.
Having kids has opened me to a whole new world of personal hygiene...:)

[Jackson]

Adult wipes are indispensable on serious camping trips.

Serious camping trip or seriously camp trip?

[Monsta]

Adult wipes are indispensable on serious camping trips.


Serious camping trip or seriously camp trip?

Good one Jackson

My question is, what the hell is a serious camping trip????? Is that where you are not allowed to laugh around the campfire? No having fun?

[Eldrick]

beware that you can make your anus TO clean

[Daves]

Good one Jackson

My question is, what the hell is a serious camping trip????? Is that where you are not allowed to laugh around the campfire? No having fun?

No mod cons at all, no shower, no toilet etc find a log and dig a hole.

[Monsta]

No mod cons at all, no shower, no toilet etc find a log and dig a hole.

Ohh I class that as just camping, there is no better way of doing it.

[Monsta]

If SMS starts asking about anal bleaching I AM OUT OF HERE !!!!

[sms316]

Ohh I class that as just camping, there is no better way of doing it. There is only one way to go camping and that is at a venue which has Foxtel.

[TourFit]

Can I ask an apparently silly question Shaughn?

Why are you talking/asking about bum wipes? Doesn't the movement of the thong take care of all that? (Like dental floss for your ass cheeks)

[sms316]

I'm intruiged about the moist goodness.

[Lucasto23]

Bum wipe thread and Shaun, why does it feel so right?

[PeteyD]

Having kids taught me all about these things.

[Webster]

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc295/chipfat/Animated%20%20Pics/butt.gif

[WBennett]

Thanks for caring about my posterior Monsta and Dotty. Lock it away in your respective spank banks. I can always send you a few photos that they took if that is what floats your boat.

ps - no icecube needed up the date.

What was the point of this thread anyway?

[sms316]

We all have to wipe our bum Benno. There comes a time in every man's life where one asks "is there a better way?"

[WBennett]

Had some blood on the paper hey mudguts? Get the Doc to check you out. Probably just an unhappy 'roid but its better to find out than die of bowel cancer

[sms316]

No mate. No claret.

[Lucasto23]

Baby wipe have saved me once this year already in property management. More power to the wipes I say

[Dotty]

Thanks for caring about my posterior Monsta and Dotty.

Been there, done that and still wary of anything featuring magnesium high on the nutritional information list.

I was booked in for a 7am Monday checkup, and had warned my employer (tech. programmer, ex-Danish Post Office and muse for Big Bang Theory) that I'd handle email/phone calls from home that day, but he'd have to do any visits to client sites, as I didn't think I'd be able to sit down for 24 hours.

After the checkup, I 'phoned the boss to say that I could do callouts, as there was no pain or discomfort at all. He said ... 'Of course there would be no pain. If it was painful, then there wouldn't be so many homosexuals.'

[Monsta]

Thanks for caring about my posterior Monsta and Dotty. Lock it away in your respective spank banks. I can always send you a few photos that they took if that is what floats your boat.

Dont really care about it Spud, was just curious if they found your head up there??? Or maybe something that you "accidentally" fell on in the shower.....

[kingslayer33]

As usual Dotty that is gold. Even the mrs laughed at that one when she made me tell her why I was laughing at my phone.

[markTHEblake]

Adult wipes are indispensable on serious camping trips.

Better off just getting some regulation australian army ration packs. I dunno what they put in there but it is something special. You will be dry for about 5 days then set some sort of world record!
I think the idea is, they cant afford to have soldiers on patrols being caught with their pants down

[BrisWesty]

beware that you can make your anus TO clean

Will it do the dishes and the dusting, but baulk at the vacuuming?

[Daves]

Better off just getting some regulation australian army ration packs. I dunno what they put in there but it is something special. You will be dry for about 5 days then set some sort of world record!
I think the idea is, they cant afford to have soldiers on patrols being caught with their pants down

The camping trips I go on involve lots of burnt BBQ meat washed down with lots of Beer and Rum. The closest we get to fibre is a piece of white bread wrapped around a snag and sauce. The wipes really earn their keep from day 2 on!

[popper81]

The camping trips I go on involve lots of burnt BBQ meat washed down with lots of Beer and Rum. The closest we get to fibre is a piece of white bread wrapped around a snag and sauce. The wipes really earn their keep from day 2 on!

Amen.

[Dude, Where's my Par?]

I think it was Will Smith who used the analogy"what would you use to wipe some pooh off your arm, a dry piece of paper or something to wash it off?" it was either Will Smith or Plato, either way the man has a point

[markTHEblake]

Good point. The Bidet also has some advantages over the sanitary function.

[Jarro]

Could've used some of these at work today :oops::roll:

[sms316]

Bought a pack today. Can't wait for tomorrow's action.

[Jarro]

Did you get the extra strength option ?

[Tomson]

Did you get the extra strength option ?

You don't want a finger to slip into virgin country ;)

[Iain]

You don't want a finger to slip into virgin country ;)

You assume it's virgin.... :shock:

[Tomson]

You assume it's virgin.... :shock:

With all that supergoal talk you would have to wonder.

[sms316]

I'm adventurous but there is a line.

[Tomson]

I'm adventurous but there is a line.

Past the first knuckle?

[sms316]

Past the first knuckle? Certainly nowhere near the watch. A mate of mine back in Canberra used to be a gigolo and he told me about this chick he was once seeing. She told him that she had always wanted to fist a guy up the back passage. He just said that was fine but whatever she did to him he would do to her. Now that is what it is like to have no limits.

[ddasey]

Past the first knuckle?

23236

[Tomson]

Certainly nowhere near the watch. A mate of mine back in Canberra used to be a gigolo and he told me about this chick he was once seeing. She told him that she had always wanted to fist a guy up the back passage. He just said that was fine but whatever she did to him he would do to her. Now that is what it is like to have no limits.

Is this story really about you?

[sms316]

Is this story really about you? No mate. This guy was a true original. Member at Royal Canberra. Used to trade foreign currency before becoming a gig. Had 8 kids to 4 different mothers (3 were "business transactions"). One day on the range he had the video camera out and he called me over to "have a look at his swing". I was thrilled when I took a look and saw one of his home movies with him waiving to the camera. :lol:

[Iain]

Is this story really about you?

Do you really want to know?!

[Tomson]

No mate. This guy was a true original. Member at Royal Canberra. Used to trade foreign currency before becoming a gig. Had 8 kids to 4 different mothers (3 were "business transactions"). One day on the range he had the video camera out and he called me over to "have a look at his swing". I was thrilled when I took a look and saw one of his home movies with him waiving to the camera. :lol:

When I was younger I went to a party to a well known family around Cairns, went in to the party and they had a blue movie on. Decided to sit on the couch and watch a bit with everyone else. Movie went on for a while, as I got up to join the party I looked at the guy next to me, then I looked back at the screen, you wouldn't believe it was the same person.

[Courty]

When I was younger I went to a party to a well known family around Cairns, went in to the party and they had a blue movie on. Decided to sit on the couch and watch a bit with everyone else. Movie went on for a while, as I got up to join the party I looked at the guy next to me, then I looked back at the screen, you wouldn't believe it was the same person.

Was that the sort of party where you had to throw your keys in a bowl on arrival? ;)

[Haystacks]

When I was younger I went to a party to a well known family around Cairns, went in to the party and they had a blue movie on. Decided to sit on the couch and watch a bit with everyone else. Movie went on for a while, as I got up to join the party I looked at the guy next to me, then I looked back at the screen, you wouldn't believe it was the same person.

Tell me he didn't wink at you...

[kev]

Certainly nowhere near the watch. A mate of mine back in Canberra used to be a gigolo and he told me about this chick he was once seeing. She told him that she had always wanted to fist a guy up the back passage. He just said that was fine but whatever she did to him he would do to her. Now that is what it is like to have no limits.

Related to Ferrins?

[BrisWesty]

Certainly nowhere near the watch. A mate of mine back in Canberra used to be a gigolo and he told me about this chick he was once seeing. She told him that she had always wanted to fist a guy up the back passage. He just said that was fine but whatever she did to him he would do to her. Now that is what it is like to have no limits.

Or a permanently slack sphincter.

[sms316]

Oh wow!

[Captain Nemo]

Bimp!

Good selection here:
http://www.parentgiving.com/shop/disposable-wipes-181/c/

I dont agree with this dude:
http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/jackalope/2013/06/top_five_reasons_why_butt-wipe.php

Some good advice here:
http://www.howtowipeyourbutt.com/

[Captain Nemo]

Bought a pack today. Can't wait for tomorrow's action.

What brand did you end up going with, results, still using?

[sms316]

What brand did you end up going with, results, still using? Kleenex mate. Nothing fresher.

[Captain Nemo]

Good call, ive been gaming the kids version for a while, time to step up!

[Captain Nemo]

on second thoughts are we doing more bad than good...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2223482/How-growing-trend-using-wet-wipes-instead-toilet-roll-costs-Thames-Water-12m-year-fix.html

[Mububban]

on second thoughts are we doing more bad than good...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2223482/How-growing-trend-using-wet-wipes-instead-toilet-roll-costs-Thames-Water-12m-year-fix.html

How much does this guy love his job hahaha

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/10/26/article-2223482-15B3377C000005DC-798_634x783.jpg

[hacker]

At first I thought it could be Finch from American Pie

[sms316]

Shit eh?http://www.theherald.com.au/story/3749438/wipes-whopper-weighs-a-tonne/?cs=305#slide=1

[sms316]

https://twitter.com/sydneywaternews/status/1554709449474195456?s=21&t=f0sEs-FuO-tvmm_Sbvyy9g

Although they could do with a maths lesson