Admit your own Stupidity.

[Marto65]

Here is the thread to let others know how blatantly idiotic and stupid you can be ...


Like tonight ....


When I tipped the Eels to win.

[hocko]

18 years ago i married a girl...had three kids and thought i loved her.
Now, she is a dead set F**kwit!
My error.

[Marto65]

You think that's stupid? ... I'm on my second marraige.

Why would anyone go back ...

[markTHEblake]

tried to slide down a bannister when I was pissed, and missed everything except the ground.
Shoulda been dead, my mates thought I was. I actually dont even remember even being in that pub.

[Johnny Canuck]

I once tried to kill a bee by swatting it out of mid air. I swung so hard that on the follow through, I punched myself in the pills and dropped to the ground in pain.

[Captain Nemo]

About 3 years ago got a tip for some shares in Drillsearch (DLS)
Bought $5k worth at .10 cents.
They went up, down up etc, but dodo bugger all.
Last year I sold out at what I paid for them.
Just checked my Broking acc recently, seeing what my other stuff was doing,they are now at $1.00...,,,,:shock:

[TheNuclearOne]

I once tried to kill a bee by swatting it out of mid air. I swung so hard that on the follow through, I punched myself in the pills and dropped to the ground in pain.

I tried that with a hornet and my bare hand at about 13. Of course i hit the arse end of the hornet and was stung. It hurt, a lot.

[Johnny Canuck]

I tried that with a hornet and my bare hand at about 13. Of course i hit the arse end of the hornet and was stung. It hurt, a lot. I played in the pro am hocko sponsored last mouth. I picked a dead bee up to move it off my line and managed to sting myself and draw blood in the process.

[TheNuclearOne]

I played in the pro am hocko sponsored last mouth. I picked a dead bee up to move it off my line and managed to sting myself and draw blood in the process.

LOL!!!!

[Dotty]

Hit myself on the forehead with a crowbar.

Previous owners had sandstone flagging as a cheap retaining wall, and I was levering a piece out. It broke and I saw stars (and a doctor with a suture kit).

[LarryLong]

I once tried to clean the inside of one of those bamix style stick mixers, forgetting that I was holding the trigger and it was still plugged in. Bzzzzzzz! I thought I'd cut the end of my finger off for a second.

[WBennett]

After suffering gastro for the last three days, i came out of footy retirement to help out. found myself at fullback. Their full forward kicked 12 as we were bear by 160....

[sms316]

I voted for the Labor Party once.

[LeftyHoges]

I voted for the Labor Party once. Give up now boys and girls, we have a winner!!! ;-)

[matty]

Yesterday I drowned a pile of chopped up trees in petrol to get the bonfire started. Got a lighter out and thought I died in the resulting explosion. The air around the pile seemed to explode. No injuries but a hell of a fright. Will use diesel next time.

[Sydney Hacker]

The "air" did explode, no one ever been over the fumes thing with you?

[Ned]

Yesterday I drowned a pile of chopped up trees in petrol to get the bonfire started. Got a lighter out and thought I died in the resulting explosion. The air around the pile seemed to explode. No injuries but a hell of a fright. Will use diesel next time.

No eyebrows or nose hairs left ???????????

Or if you didn't have a real short hairstyle you have now ??????????

Use a mixture of 60/40 petrol/diesel to be safe next time, averaging mix set up for fire lighting torches used by Firies for hazard reductions.

[Ferrins]

I joined Nudgee GC a few years back and to back that up joined Helensvale.

[WBennett]

I voted for the Labor Party once.

Could be worse, you could have voted Nationals

[Marto65]

I voted for the Labor Party once.

I'm happy to admit I've never been THAT stupid.

[shavey]

tried to slide down a pole when I was pissed, and missed everything except the ground.
Shoulda been dead, my mates thought I was. I actually dont even remember even being in that 'establishment'.

Lucky the dollar bills broke your fall!

[dave1]

Trying to get hail out of our gutters while storm clouds closed in....I got struck by lightning (add your own joke here :-))

Water was coming through our ceilings ...

Gutters full of ice

Dumb stupidity on my part.

[sms316]

Trying to get hail out of our gutters while storm clouds closed in....I got struck by lightning (add your own joke here :-))Water was coming through our ceilings ...Gutters full of iceDumb stupidity on my part.Geez, you are lucky that there weren't any long term effects.

[Johnny Canuck]

;)

[dave1]

Geez, you are lucky that there weren't any long term effects. :-) add your own joke folks....It hit my left hand and exit point was left foot (left a small burn mark where it exited) Water was pissing through our roof...Clouds had passed but re-gathered....Still was incredibly stupid.

[Ashes]

I know a guy who has been hit twice by lightning, both times in the shower (the joys of living in a converted shed in the country I guess).

[Johnny Canuck]

Yes. (it was)

[simmsy]

Jc tell the story of your last trip to Melbourne! Please go on. Everyone needs a laugh.

[simmsy]

At Oktobefest got back to place we were saying chick sugguested we go for a skinny dip in the glacier fed lake, 1,2,3 JUMP!

Well theres me inthe water and the smarter one on the jetty. The embarrassing part was still to come when i had to exit the water starkers.

She giggled.

[timah!]

The weekend before my last week in year 12, was out at a party which backed onto a golf course.

At some point in the night, a club was started to be swung and somehow I managed to scone myself in the face.

All my last week of school photos have me with a black eye...

[blurry]

falling in small pond that used to be on the 18th at Penrith, while ogling a sort on the practice fairway,,,,, yes there is the odd one out here:mrgreen:

[Johnny Canuck]

At Oktobefest got back to place we were saying chick sugguested we go for a skinny dip in the glacier fed lake, 1,2,3 JUMP!Well theres me inthe water and the smarter one on the jetty. The embarrassing part was still to come when i had to exit the water starkers. She giggled.At your one ball?

[Yossarian]

How many times have you been stung by bees JC, didn't you get stung at Wanneroo that day as well??

[Johnny Canuck]

Stung 3 times. Once when I was 16 and thought it w be fun to throw rocks at a hive, which fits nicely in this thread, Wanneroo and the dead one at Melville.Edit, if I remember correctly, the rock incident lead to multiple stings.

[Yossarian]

I once (tried to have a reasonable argument with dave)1.

[simmsy]

Anyway JC, back to your recent melbourne trip.

[PerryGroves]

I typed a couple of lines in response to a MTB post in the Gay Marriage thread.

Didn't want to be pursued to the gates of hell, I deleted and moved back amongst my own people in the NRL thread :)

[Peppas]

Bought 2 pairs of shorts off the bay for golf... they turned out to be womens shorts. Luckily they fit the missus... too bad she doesn't golf :)

In my defense, there was nothing in the listing that said for chicks!

[matty]

The "air" did explode, no one ever been over the fumes thing with you?

Never. Was bloody scary. BOOM.

[matty]

No eyebrows or nose hairs left ???????????

Or if you didn't have a real short hairstyle you have now ??????????

Use a mixture of 60/40 petrol/diesel to be safe next time, averaging mix set up for fire lighting torches used by Firies for hazard reductions.

Luckily I was at the other end of the pile. I had moved seconds before after lighting a small trail on the ground. My wife's grandfather saw the whole thing. Never seen the old bugger laugh so hard.

[markTHEblake]

t want to be pursued to the gates of hell, I deleted and moved back amongst my own people in the NRL thread :)

So that was the stupid bit.

[Marto65]

Just bumping this thread for Solarman this morning ;)

[damoocow]

On Saturday was walking down a short par 4 with a rope across part of the fairway to stop carts. My bag was on my back, sand bucket in left hand . Lifted rope with left hand to duck under, bag got caught in the rope and as I turned to free it the hand holding the sand bucket twisted and deposited contents all over my head - wasn't wearing my cap at the time so wore the lot - took a while to get the sand out of everywhere.

[Courty]

Lol @ Damo. :lol:

[Nug300]

As seen in the What did you shoot thread

First time entering scores into the computer, typed in my points rather than strokes.

So when the results came up i shot a World record low of 32 and 89 points!!

Idiot

[Goldy]

As seen in the What did you shoot thread

First time entering scores into the computer, typed in my points rather than strokes.

So when the results came up i shot a World record low of 32 and 89 points!!

Idiot

Welcome to the forum Kim Jong Il.

[Vice MC]

On Saturday was walking down a short par 4 with a rope across part of the fairway to stop carts. My bag was on my back, sand bucket in left hand . Lifted rope with left hand to duck under, bag got caught in the rope and as I turned to free it the hand holding the sand bucket twisted and deposited contents all over my head - wasn't wearing my cap at the time so wore the lot - took a while to get the sand out of everywhere.

Actual LOL...i once ran head first into a hanging bee hive while chasing a footy under a tree. Looked like that bloke that puts em on his face on purpose.

[BenM]

I once tried to fix a dodgy light switch without turning the power off. And pissed as a fart (had just come home from the pub). Luckily all I got was a nasty jolt, but it sobered me up in a hurry.

[rubin]

Actual LOL...i once ran head first into a hanging bee hive while chasing a footy under a tree. Looked like that bloke that puts em on his face on purpose.

I did something something similar as a young bloke.

Running back with the flight of the footy, eyes on the ball not were i was going. Run flat out into a tree stump that was dead level with my nose = first of 3 broken noses.

Another time, playing basketball, went for a layup and got knocked slightly on my way down, turned and wrapped myself around the pole backwards. That one hurt

[Yossarian]

I hit myself in the face with my own golfball.

[Monsta]

Not my stupidity, but was with a mate that set his Canon 1D DLSR camera up infront of himself to video his swing and proceeded to knock a ball into a $2000 lens smashing it.
He couldnt understand why I was laughing sooooo much :D

[Puji]

Playing a practice round before an amateur tournament at Royal Melbourne West and hitting an approach shot stiff to 4ft to only realise I went for the wrong green.

Wow. Just thinking about it still makes me cringe.

[Vice MC]

High School Basketball aginst Southport. Start of second half i grab ball from the tip and proceed to bolt for the open lay-up....and score two points for them :roll:

[LeftyHoges]

High School Basketball aginst Southport. Start of second half i grab ball from the tip and proceed to bolt for the open lay-up....and score two points for them :roll:

I did that in junior basketball too. Came on as a sub and for some reason the other team was defending our throw in at their end. Made a beautiful cut into the key for an easy lay-up. Easiest two points I ever scored.

No biggie as the score was about 50-odd to 20-odd our way.

[spanner039]

I did that in junior basketball too. Came on as a sub and for some reason the other team was defending our throw in at their end. Made a beautiful cut into the key for an easy lay-up. Easiest two points I ever scored.

No biggie as the score was about 50-odd to 20-odd our way.

The Vic Champs 3on3 is no longer in the bag for the Vics!

[spanner039]

Pissing on one of my blisters on the heel of my foot during this years Long Island ProAm...................

No need to add any further details, by Christ it hurt.

[bdoug10]

I went to jump into the car yesterday and hit the piller missed completely

[BrettM]

New Years Eve 1993, I was an apprentice in Gordonvale south of Cairns. Got home, was in the mood for a few beers so started having a couple in my lounge room. Woke up in Port Douglas the next morning. Had to call a mate in Gordonvale to go around to my place and get my car (which was still there) to come and get me.

Still have NFI how I got to Port Douglas.

[Vice MC]

New Years Eve 1993, I was an apprentice in Gordonvale south of Cairns. Got home, was in the mood for a few beers so started having a couple in my lounge room. Woke up in Port Douglas the next morning. Had to call a mate in Gordonvale to go around to my place and get my car (which was still there) to come and get me.

Still have NFI how I got to Port Douglas.

Hope your arse wasn't sore!

[Hatchman]

back in the 90's I tried and succeeded to separate frozen hamburger patties with the knife I'd just used to cut up the onions (didn't want to get a blunt butter knife out of the draw and make more dishes). Was working away from myself then saw a better angle to try. Burgers separated and tip of knife went into hand and severed the tendon of my left index finger. Had to drive myself to Hospital as the ex was too hysterical.

I should have used the microwave mum had bought for my 21st two weeks earlier.

[BayBum]

I hit myself in the face with my own golfball. Done that too.Middle of the forehead.

[mrbluu]

I once joined an online golf forum....

[markTHEblake]

Got pissed with my bro in law and ended up in a lap dance bar. Had a guilt attack at 3am and confessed to the missus by text even though I only looked and didn't touch mind you there was only cm's in it. Just call me the iceman.

I will be paying off this debt for at least 20 more years, never again.

[JADO75]

I got married

[goughy]

Ouch

[timah!]

Bear in mind, I have been 'the safety guy' for the last few years...
(I'm not really the safety guy, I'm the training guy, but anyway)

1) Last week of high school at a party, may of may not have had some end of school cheer in me, picked up a golf club at night and started pinging balls from our friends yard onto the neighbouring course. And then proceeded to hit myself just below the eye somehow with the club. Needless to say not a good look for the last week of school photos.

2) After moving into the new place we were moving a large tv cabinet around after having stored it in a spare room for a while. Both the wife and I quickly realised that we needed to be either side of it (ie on the other side of the doorway) so I climbed over the cabinet to get to the other side...forgetting there was a fan going. Must have just glanced the side of my head. Amused the wife for a while at least.

[graham_w]

Friend of mine was a passenger in a car and drunk. Stuck his head out of the sunroof while the car was driving around a shopping centre car park. Popped up right at the point a concrete beam was.

Damn near scalped the poor bloke.

[SundayHack]

When I was 18 one night when I was so drunk that I thought I was a tough *unt and was dared to eat hot coals from a fire. Couldn't eat anything but lemonade ice blocks for a few weeks. Dumb *unt not a tough one.

[Pieface]

Friends don't let friends eat hot coals.

[Lagerlover]

SundayHack,
That is one of the funniest dumb things I have ever heard of.... 5 STARS

[Monsta]

Friends don't let friends eat hot coals.

:lol:

[Goldy]

Friends don't let friends eat hot coals.

:smt038

[Goldy]

Engaging in an online disagreement with dave_1....](*,)

[Yossarian]

He can be beaten.

[sms316]

He can be beaten. With a stick.

[Yossarian]

Goldy citing Brad Hardie as a valid source on anything pertaining to the WCE also deserves a nomination in this thread.

[Goldy]

If only wishing made it so.

[Goldy]

Goldy citing Brad Hardie as a valid source on anything pertaining to the WCE also deserves a nomination in this thread.

Yeah...I felt a little dirty.

[Haystacks]

I did something something similar as a young bloke.

Running back with the flight of the footy, eyes on the ball not were i was going. Run flat out into a tree stump that was dead level with my nose = first of 3 broken noses.

Another time, playing basketball, went for a layup and got knocked slightly on my way down, turned and wrapped myself around the pole backwards. That one hurt

I reckon I could guess how you got the other 2...

[Johnny Canuck]

I reckon I could guess how you got the other 2... Zing!

[rubin]

I reckon I could guess how you got the other 2...

you would probably be wrong.

[WBennett]

I parked the car in the garage, and went down the driveway to get the mail. As I was walking up the driveway, I noticed the car rolling down at me. I tried to stop it. Me vs 1600kgs of rapidly picking up speed Falcon didn't end well as I got bounced halfway across the yard

Luckily it swung around when it hit the street and hit the neighbours tree rather than going through anyones lounge room!

[Pieface]

Bloke at work tried to do that with an 8 tonne truck back in the day Benno. He does a bunch of great party tricks with his wooden leg

[WBennett]

I still don't know how I wasn't killed. My next door neighbour came out screaming thinking I had been run over...

[hocko]

Was this recent wb?

[TourFit]

I got a brand new $48k work car (20kms on the clock) and had an accident within 2 days. My fault too.

[dc68]

In a ditch somewhere?

[Dude, Where's my Par?]

I sat on the door remote as I hopped in the car to back it of the garage. Door went bang!

[kingslayer33]

I parked a work trailer (carried a 4-wheel bike) on a rural property at the start of the day. Came back at the end of the day and had to winch it out of the creek 250m away from where I left it. Luckily not through any fences but the jockey-wheel definitely needed to be replaced.

[Johnny Canuck]

I bought two belly putters, that lasted about 3 comp rounds total between them.

[Marto65]

I bought two belly putters, that lasted about 3 comp rounds total between them. Thank god I've never been that stupid.

[LarryLong]

I once picked up a little box with a button on it on my MIL's kitchen table, and absent-mindedly pushed the button. Nothing happened, so I thought nothing of it.

The garage door opened, and her 17 year old doddery cairn terrier cross escaped, and was picked up at the pound the next day after much angst.

[Hatchman]

I bought two belly putters, that lasted about 3 comp rounds total between them.

That's not stupidity, still using them now would be.

[chappy1970]

On the turps one night at a previous employer, we'd had a few and when we got to the ground floor via the building lifts, there was one of the cleaners frames (large cloth bag in the middle supported either side by metal frames and held together with some chain at each end).

I thought it would idea to lay across the top and fly around the ground floor. It was awesome and hilarious for all until both chains broke and the frames collapsed beneath me and I fell onto the tiled floor breaking a tooth in half and lodging it in my bottom lip

Genius

[LeftyHoges]

I once picked up a little box with a button on it on my MIL's kitchen table, and absent-mindedly pushed the button. Nothing happened, so I thought nothing of it.

The garage door opened, and her 17 year old doddery cairn terrier cross escaped, and was picked up at the pound the next day after much angst.

Did you confess?

[LarryLong]

Did you confess?

Yeah. I couldn't work out a way to pin it on anybody else, or the dog. :)

She gave me crap about it for years after that, and any time I had to ask her for something she would always remind me of what happened the last time she trusted me with one of her posessions.

[meh]

I actually thought those in favour of banning the anchored putter would stop their whining and stupid little * comments. Fact is that they will most likely complain about this until they (long and belly putters) have gone and then start to whinge about something else.

[sms316]

I laugh at people who whine about others whining.

[Lobsta]

I got a brand new $48k work car (20kms on the clock) and had an accident within 2 days. My fault too.

Cheeseburger fell off the passenger seat?

[WBennett]

Was this recent wb?

No, about 7 or 8 years ago. Why do you ask?

[Haystacks]

you would probably be wrong. I've been wrong before. Would you like me to tell you what it's like?

[hocko]

No, about 7 or 8 years ago. Why do you ask?
Because I thought you may be injured.

[mrbluu]

I had to google JDM....

[LeftyHoges]

I had to google JDM....

Kick him off the site!!! :lol:

[meh]

I've been wrong before. Would you like me to tell you what it's like?

Awesome :)

[mrbluu]

Kick him off the site!!! :lol: But since then I think I've proven my ho ways!!!! 8-)

[Marto65]

Here is the thread to let others know how blatantly idiotic and stupid you can be ...


Like tonight ....


When I tipped the Eels to win. Woulda thunk id be learned by now ...

[matty]

I had to google JDM....

Very surprised at that!

[markTHEblake]

In reference to some other woman somewhere, either on telly or one of her friends, I told the wife "she is not my type", thinking that was the best diplomatic answer

Biggest mistake ever, now she won't stop asking now what is my type!

[Goldy]

Wouldn't "Why, you are, darling" be sufficient?

[Webster]

"two @!@'s, a #%&@ and a heartbeat?"

[Monsta]

In reference to some other woman somewhere, either on telly or one of her friends, I told the wife "she is not my type", thinking that was the best diplomatic answer

Biggest mistake ever, now she won't stop asking now what is my type!

Be romantic and different MTB, when she asks, hand her a picture (of her) and say thats my type, big brownie points !!!!

[Goldy]

"two @!@'s, a #%&@ and a heartbeat?"

Probably better than my suggestion...at least here.

[Sydney Hacker]

"two @!@'s, a #%&@ and a heartbeat?"

Is a heartbeat really that important?

[rubin]

Be romantic and different MTB, when she asks, hand her a picture (of her) and say thats my type, big brownie points !!!!

never thought of that, but now u say it, im not surprised. Might need to use that one.

[sms316]

Surely "silent" and/or "obedient" are all that is required.

[markTHEblake]

Wouldn't "Why, you are, darling" be sufficient? And then get accused of being a liar. You clearly did not think that through!

[Marto65]

And then get accused of being a liar. You clearly did not think that through! You're going to have to buy her something now to make up for it ...

[Goldy]

You're going to have to buy her something now to make up for it ...

Yeah....like, what were you thinking? ;)

[Hux]

Gave NK my mobile number.......

[Dcanto]

Gave NK my mobile number.......

Are you insane ???

:shock:

[dc68]

Gave NK my mobile number.......


This

[mrbluu]

Very surprised at that!

why?