Question for Jarro

[Webster]

At the park this morning I saw a greyhound that wasn't grey, it was brown. Is this beast a greyhound or a brownhound?

Note: this thread for non golf questions only.

Thank you.

[Jarro]

It's actually called a dishlicker Jack.

[Webster]

Thanks Jarro.

Another question for you.

Who were the 5 greatest adult movie stars of the 20th century?

[Jarro]

John Holmes
Linda Lovelace
Ron Jeremy
Traci Lords
Rocco Siffredi

[sms316]

You would pick more men than women.

[Jarro]

Rocco is my hero

[Yossarian]

Is that because his wang is taller than you?

[sms316]

Rocco is my hero

Fair call. No room for Peter North of Jenna Jamieson?

[Jarro]

Is that because his wang is taller than you?

You're a silly boy


Fair call. No room for Peter North of Jenna Jamieson?

Never thought much of Mr North to be honest.

[sms316]

Never thought much of Mr North to be honest.
He's in everything (and everyone). Probably fires of the most consistently large shots in the industry. He could definitely shampoo a buffalo.

[Jarro]

He's in everything (and everyone). Probably fires of the most consistently large shots in the industry. He could definitely shampoo a buffalo.

Yeah he's done some quality stuff no doubt .... i just think Rocco has done better stuff, with better stuff ;)

[AndyP]

This belongs on another forum.

[Webster]

Agree re Rocco - he kept some very tidy company.

Jarro, new question - what's the best advice you could give a young bloke when selecting a bride?

[kev]

How many buffalo does she come with... ?

[Jarro]

Agree re Rocco - he kept some very tidy company.

Jarro, new question - what's the best advice you could give a young bloke when selecting a bride?

Pick one that hasn't been in contact with any of your mates.

[Webster]

Even if they were your female "mates" ?

[Jarro]

especially female mates.

MEOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

[kev]

Jarro,

Should we adopt the American spelling and pronunciation of words or stick to the English/Australian spelling and pronunciation.

For example "smartass" or "smartarse" respectively.

[Jarro]

Kev, while i do like the Australian pronunciation on most things ... smartass just seems right to me ;)

[kev]

Kev, while i do like the Australian pronunciation on most things ... smartass just seems right to me ;)

:lol:

[Webster]

Jarro, is there anything wrong with someone who prefers cider to beer?

[Jarro]

Not in my books Jack.

As long as it's alcoholic, everything is fair game

[Grunt]

Maybe for AP, but is a chip in an effective Chip?

[AndyP]

It's an up and down in anyone's stats.

[Grunt]

Or is it an Up? Up & down is 2 shots? A missed chip with a putt is an Up & Down.

[AndyP]

The ball went up, the ball went down into the hole. Up and down.

[Grunt]

Well actually it went up then SLAM in the hole :)

[Webster]

Jarro, apart from me, who is your favorite famous Victorian?

[Jarro]

Robert Allenby

[IamViva]

Jarro, i having problems with electric windows and water pump for my windscreen wipers in my car purchased a little over a month ago, will this be covered by my 90 day statutory warranty?

[Jarro]

jarro,
great to see you win the coin on the golf punt on the weekend, was this the win that popped the punt cherry ?

yes Dick, my punt cherry was popped at Ballina.... and the beers tasted so much better !


Jarro, i having problems with electric windows and water pump for my windscreen wipers in my car purchased a little over a month ago, will this be covered by my 90 day statutory warranty?

I believe so

[Webster]

Jarro, if you go for a massage and at the end the nice lady asks you to roll over and gives you a "happy ending" at no extra charge, does this constitute cheating on your partner?

[Jarro]

I'm afraid to say it does Jack

[Webster]

I agree Jarro. Poor form to get involved in that sort of shenanigans.

Jarro, who would likely win a bikini wrestling match between Stacey Keibler and Pamela Anderson?

[Jarro]

Ms Keibler is prettier, but Pammy has a bigger rack ... so i'd have to go with her.

[Jarro]

I decided to go back to a better ball Dick

[Grunt]

Dick, he was just behind me most of the day ;)

[Jarro]

Yep, Grunt hits a long ball :shock:

[Grunt]

just cant direct it. it stays hit just goes anywhere

[Jarro]

Yep, direction is not your strongest asset Gruntus ;)

[kev]

Dick, he was just behind me most of the day ;)


Yep, direction is not your strongest arsset Gruntus ;)

hmmm.

[Jarro]

kev, are you from WA originally ?

[Jarro]

.. and it's ass, not arse :p

[kev]

kev, are you from WA originally ?

Not originally, but I did live there for 15 years or so. :)

[Jarro]

Not originally, but I did live there for 15 years or so. :)

It's starting to show ;)

[Webster]

Jarro is it ok for a grown man to use baby wipes instead of toilet paper?

[Jarro]

I don't have a problem with that at all Jack.

It actually makes sense, as it cleans up better and also moisturises.

Get busy with the wipes fellas !!

[live4golf]

Jarro, are you a little bored?

[Jarro]

Not bored, just a little pissy

[Grunt]

So is VB an acceptable beer when you are just throwing them down?

[kev]

So is VB an acceptable beer when you are just throwing them down?

They still make that?

[Jarro]

I'm not really sure it's appropriate for me to answer that question Dick.

[mike]

jarro, when you mic up the kick is there a unique setting or do you just have the hi/mid/lo at 12 o'clock?

[Jarro]

Mike, i always leave the miking of the drumkit up to the sound guy.

He knows what works best for every different venue we play at.

I just tell him what i need in my own monitors and let him take care of the rest.

[Webster]

Jarro, how many bull lesbians does it take to change a light globe?

[Jarro]

As many as they see fit to do the job.

I'm not going to argue the point with them

[Webster]

Jarro, apart from golf and sex, what other activities can I expect to get better at as I get older?

[Jarro]

sleeping

[Peter]

Drinking?

[Jarro]

farting

[popper81]

Erectile dysfunction, by the end you will be a master..

[kev]

Telling everyone how good you were back in the day.

[Daves]

sleeping

Actually sleeping unfortunately no, attempting to get a good sleep yes.


Drinking?

Nope


farting

Yep


Erectile dysfunction, by the end you will be a master..

Is this about a reg vs extra stiff shaft?


Telling everyone how good you were back in the day.

Oh yeah!

[Ferrins]

Can you go on adult rides at the Ekka?

[Jarro]

Yep .... have been for years now

[dc68]

Does the Indian Cricket Council... Ooops I mean International Cricket Council piss you off
as much as it pisses me off?

[Jarro]

Yes they do dc ... yes they do

[sms316]

Do you think you can beat me in matchplay?

[Webster]

What is the technical term for the area of the male anatomy between the ballbag and the anus ( i.e. the equivalent area of the female known as the taint)

(no homo)

[TheTrueReview]

What is the technical term for the area of the male anatomy between the ballbag and the anus ( i.e. the equivalent area of the female known as the taint)

(no homo)

:lol:

[Lobsta]

What is the technical term for the area of the male anatomy between the ballbag and the anus ( i.e. the equivalent area of the female known as the taint)

(no homo)

Inala

[Webster]

Jarro, which method of abdominal maintenance will cause a female to appear largest?:

A) completely shaved
B) landing strip
C) full bush

[Johnny Canuck]

Neil Peart is such an awesome drummer, why are his solos so boring?

[goughy]

Neil Peart is such an awesome drummer, why are his solos so boring?

Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I've never heard neil pearts drumming!

[Jarro]

Jarro, which method of abdominal maintenance will cause a female to appear largest?:

A) completely shaved
B) landing strip
C) full bush

Full bush


Neil Peart is such an awesome drummer, why are his solos so boring?

Not all are boring ... just the newer ones ..... YYZ off Exit...StageLeft is brilliant !!!


Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I've never heard neil pearts drumming!

Do yourself a favour


Jarro for such a funny awkward swing with a pause at the top how do you crank your drives so far ? You been workin out ?

Dunno Dick .... i just step up and hit it ..... couldn't be arsed trying to work out how to swing properly.

[mike]

Jarro, which NRL team did you follow before those Broncos morons hit the scene? Be honest.

[Jarro]

Jarro, which NRL team did you follow before those Broncos morons hit the scene? Be honest.

I was a Manly fan mikey :oops:

[mike]

Bwahahahaaaaa!!

[MegaWatty]

Bwahahahaaaaa!!

I agree! :)

[PerryGroves]

I was a Manly fan mikey :oops:

Don't listen to em Jarro, enjoy your premiership. :smt038:smt038

[Jarro]

yeah i was a mad Manly fan .... Max Krilich was my hero .... i even had one of the old Wormald jerseys 8)

Then along came the Mighty Brisbane Broncos ............

[dc68]

Amen ...Thank god for the Broncos!!!

[MegaWatty]

Once a, always a.

[TheTrueReview]

yeah i was a mad Manly fan .... Max Krilich was my hero .... i even had one of the old Wormald jerseys 8)

Then along came the Mighty Brisbane Broncos ............

Did you feel conflicted in their first ever game?

[mike]

I was going for the Broncos that day against the Manly fags.

How things change.

[Jarro]

Did you feel conflicted in their first ever game?

It was a weird experience :-s

Although my hatred for Paul Vautin made it quite easy to cheer on my new heroes ;)

[3oneday]

Wow, all respect gone.

[Jarro]

Sorry Dog boy :p

[dc68]

It's ok Jarro I'm with ya, although it was hatred for Arko that made it easier for me.

[PeteyD]

Wear JB as deoderant

[TheTrueReview]

Dear Jarro,

How long before we get back to the usual b.s. & stop rabbiting on about iGolf?

[Jarro]

It's ok Jarro I'm with ya, although it was hatred for Arko that made it easier for me.

yeah i hated Arko more than anyone


jarro
How can I beat DC in matchplay at Wynnum ?

Play better than him


Wear JB as deodorant

:lol:


Dear Jarro,

How long before we get back to the usual b.s. & stop rabbiting on about iGolf?

Not long now mate ;)

[dc68]

jarro
How can I beat DC in matchplay at Wynnum ?


I'm out of the matchplay Dick. I never wanted to be in and the bloke with the big snoz from down your way
is taking my spot.

[Webster]

Jarro, it is acceptable to be seen in public wearing tracksuit pants with thongs?

[PeteyD]

Only in woodridge

[Jarro]

Only in woodridge

or Morayfield

[WBennett]

Jarro, it is acceptable to be seen in public wearing tracksuit pants with thongs?

Isn't that Semi Formal in Warrnambool, on the assumption that you are wearing your 'Good' thongs and trackies?

[Webster]

Only if the thongs are black and white Benno (as mine are)

[dc68]

Only in woodridge


or Morayfield


Seen in Wynnum faaaaaaaaaaaaaar too often.

[Webster]

Jarro, why don't black people get white tattoos?

(watching the basketball - just curious)

[henno]

Jarro, why don't black people get white tattoos?

(watching the basketball - just curious)

Spoiler: they do.

[Dude, Where's my Par?]

What is the technical term for the area of the male anatomy between the ballbag and the anus ( i.e. the equivalent area of the female known as the taint)

(no homo)

For those still playing at home, the term for a male is the perineum yet for the female it is called the "twitter" derived from the fact it is between the twa t and the shitter...

[Webster]

No it's called the "taint", in that "it 'taint the £&$$¥ or the @%$€"

[Dude, Where's my Par?]

Either way, it's ticklish

[Webster]

Jarro, why isn't there a race for red haired people at the paralympics?

[Lagerlover]

Jarro, why isn't there a race for red haired people at the paralympics?

FINALLY!! A sensible question for this thread.

[markTHEblake]

Or for overweight unfit fat Ranatungas

[Jarro]

Jarro, why isn't there a race for red haired people at the paralympics?

The Rangalympics is on after the Paralympics Jack ....

.... stay tuned.

[Dotty]

The Rangalympics is on after the Paralympics Jack ....

.... stay tuned.
Only half a dozen countries can field a team.

Jarro, what happened to all the rangas in Africa, Asia, South America and Polynesia?

[Jarro]

Only half a dozen countries can field a team.

Jarro, what happened to all the rangas in Africa, Asia, South America and Polynesia?

Dotty, i fear they were probably eaten !

[PerryGroves]

Where is that punter that had the vending machines.

He better be loading the condom machine daily at the "Julia Gillard Oympic Village", we don't need these people getting jiggy and producing progeny.

[Tongueboy]

thats as bad as Tiger saying he played like a spaz!

[Marto65]

Jarro.

As you are aware, I'm playing g69 in the matchplay final on Wednesday.

My question is, when is it ok to use the following phrases.

Tom Hanks
Sherman Tanks
Blankety Blanks
Huttons footy franks
Effing Banks
The tailless cat is a Manx
Slaps and spanks
Walks the planks
And
Of course he wanks ?

[Webster]

Dickie, I know the cure. Give me a call. Love, Jack.

[jaybam]

Jarro do you believe that south's year is the beginning of a resurgence of a rugby league super power ??

[Jarro]

Jarro.

As you are aware, I'm playing g69 in the matchplay final on Wednesday.

My question is, when is it ok to use the following phrases.

Tom Hanks
Sherman Tanks
Blankety Blanks
Huttons footy franks
Effing Banks
The tailless cat is a Manx
Slaps and spanks
Walks the planks
And
Of course he wanks ?

Marto... don't waste energy trying to coax Dick into having a Ravi.... he'll oblige regardless.

Try getting him to hit 'the man shot' off the tee.... this will invariably lead to many missed fairways.

You're welcome.

[Jarro]

Jarro do you believe that south's year is the beginning of a resurgence of a rugby league super power ??

No JB.

Souths just got lucky this year...like Manly.

Normal programming will resume next year.

[Marto65]

If I don't like Ferrins anymore, does that make me a mysogynist?

[Yossarian]

Jarro,

Who would you most like to ban?

[Jarro]

Yoss,

I'd like to ban anybody who continually breaks the forums rules of posting .... even after they have been warned not to do so.

[Yossarian]

Diplomatic answer.

[Jarro]

It is.

would you expect anything less ?

[Yossarian]

I plead the 5th.

[markTHEblake]

Jarro, what sort of twit does not take Linkedin seriously? its the social network for professionals....

This joker comes up on my list of "people I probably know"


Moby Dick (http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=91625861&ref=PYMK&authType=name&authToken=pJpJ&trk=new_pymk-profile)
Shit Kicker at Brisbane Airport Corporation

[Jarro]

Blakey, i get plenty of emails telling me about Linkedin, but i've never actually taken any notice of it.

Should i ?

[IamViva]

Blakey, i get plenty of emails telling me about Linkedin, but i've never actually taken any notice of it.

Should i ?

we'll ask the questions, Jarro


my boss is refusing to pay over time ive worked to cover his ass, i would like to leave a steamer on his desk... how should i try to resolve this(we are a non-union site)

[Jarro]

we'll ask the questions, Jarro


my boss is refusing to pay over time ive worked to cover his ass, i would like to leave a steamer on his desk... how should i try to resolve this(we are a non-union site)

How much overtime are we talking here ?

If it's for a substantial amount of money then i'd most certainly leave a steaming grogan on his desk.

I'd also tell him he shouldn't expect you to do any more overtime until he guarantees payment.

[Johnny Canuck]

What are your top 3 or 5 debut albums from rock and roll bands?

If your list doesn't contain Appetite for Destruction, I will raise an eyebrow in your direction.

[Jarro]

What are your top 3 or 5 debut albums from rock and roll bands?

If your list doesn't contain Appetite for Destruction, I will raise an eyebrow in your direction.

Hmmm, tough question.

Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin
Appetite - GNR
Van Halen - Van Halen
Ten - Pearl Jam
My Generation - The Who

[Johnny Canuck]

A very good list.

[Webster]

Jarro, why do all midgets look the same?

[mike]

Jarro, I've said for years that anybody that wins a footy tipping comp obviously knows nothing about footy.

Thoughts?

[Jarro]

Jarro, why do all midgets look the same?

Not sure really ???


Jarro, I've said for years that anybody that wins a footy tipping comp obviously knows nothing about footy.

Thoughts?

You'd be wrong mikey.

[razaar]

Jarro
Who is your preferred leader - Julia or Kevin? Will Kevin make it back to the front bench and make the triumvirate of Julia, Wayne and Kevin.

[Jarro]

Jarro
Who is your preferred leader - Julia or Kevin?

Sorry Ray ... i don't do politics or religion ;)

[razaar]

What are the things you do?

[Jarro]

Pretty much everything else that Google lets me :)

[razaar]

What does that mean?

[Jarro]

Check Google

[Hatchman]

Jarro
If the Pink is covered by the Red is it ok to pot the Brown?

[dc68]

You do know jarro's fave porn star is Rocco Siffridi right?

[markTHEblake]

That is Jarros religion.

[Jarro]

Jarro
If the Pink is covered by the Red is it ok to pot the Brown?

Absolutley !


You do know jarro's fave porn star is Rocco Siffridi right?

I don't think he does ??


That is Jarros religion.

Yep :)

[Webster]

Jarro, if the moderators of this fine site were to become aware that a certain member had hacked into the account of another member and michieviously altered their settings by say changing their avatar to something inappropriate, how many infraction points would that attract, if not a lengthy ban?

[Jarro]

I'd say it'd be worth plenty points and a definite ban.

Details ??

[Webster]

How long would the ban be?

[Jarro]

Dunno ???

[Webster]

Aren't you a mod? You should know how much he/she gets banned for?

[BenM]

Aren't you a mod? You should know how much he/she gets banned for?

From experience elsewhere... Sometimes all the circumstances, past track record, and other factors need to be looked at (and possibly discussed) before deciding on a ban length.

Whose account did you hack?

Jarro, why can I not take my fairly robust travel bag anywhere on a plane without the damn baggage handlers breaking the handle off it? Two trips - two breakages!

[Jarro]

I don't think we've had a case like this before ?

How did he/she get access to your details anyway ??

[Webster]

Jarro, would it be a lifetime ban, or just a few weeks? I need to know before we get into any details.

[Jarro]

Jack, if you have a genuine concern about this, i suggest you PM the details to a Mod so we can discuss it before making any further comment.

BenM, some baggage handlers are less than subtle when handling big, heavy bags ..... even golf bags.

Bags are stacked on top of each other so accidents will happen from time to time. Maybe you are just extremely unlucky :(

[PeteyD]

Something like this we would discuss, it is fairly serious.

[AndyP]

Was it the one-armed man?

[Sydney Hacker]

Was it the one-armed man? Was he posting from the grassy knoll?

[markTHEblake]

I cant see how a person could prove this easily. Excepting for matching up IP addresses but even that could be a setup. I'd be inclined to tell the complainant to take better care with his login details.

[Webster]

Jarro, are you a racist if you vote for Pauline Hanson?

[Jarro]

No

[Lagerlover]

One short from my little blokes footy sign up day, have you still got that goatie?

[Webster]

No

Why not?

[PeteyD]

Will tonights game be worth watching, or will Channel nein stuff it up?

[sms316]

Should we start a drinking game for every time Gus says "no"?

[PeteyD]

no.

no no no no no

no

won't be able to play anymore, and that is before the kick off.

[PeteyD]

Are we getting it on 1 hour delay as per normal? I bet we are.

[backintheswing]

Is starts at 8 pm qld time so maybe a 2 hour delay.

[sms316]

Are we getting it on 1 hour delay as per normal? I bet we are. Yep.

[Jarro]

One short from my little blokes footy sign up day, have you still got that goatie?

Do they have beer ?


jarro
Do you think the current Ozgolf rule book needs re-assessing ?

Possibly.

[Webster]

Jarro, if a thread gets deleted for supposedly breaking forum rules, shouldn't the thread starter get automatic infraction points and/or a ban?

[PeteyD]

No there are no automatic infractions. As everyone has been told the mods discuss these things prior to most action being taken, unless it is extremely offensive.

[sms316]

Jarro,

Is PeteyD an alias of yours?

[Webster]

Jarro, why is PeteyD answering your questions?

[Jarro]

Probably because he has a greater interest in this thread than i do.

[Jarro]

Jarro, if the moderators of this fine site were to become aware that a certain member had hacked into the account of another member and michieviously altered their settings by say changing their avatar to something inappropriate, how many infraction points would that attract, if not a lengthy ban?

So who was it anyway ?

[Webster]

The perpetrator and I have reached a confidential settlement and accordingly I am not at liberty to reveal his or her identity.

[Captain Nemo]

Jarro, seeing as though your a hot NRL tipper, are you/do you put multi's on.....

[Jarro]

Jarro, seeing as though your a hot NRL tipper, are you/do you put multi's on.....

Nah mate..... i'm not a full on gambler.

[Captain Nemo]

I'm not taking the piss or being a smartass but you've bee going alright.
Only need to multi up 3 legs fav's at $1.60 it's $4
$25 each week on that's a nice return....

[Jarro]

As soon as i start taking it that seriously i'll probably start doing my dough though :roll:

[Eag's]

Don't know how you do it mate, once again, I am off to a terrible start with my tipping :roll: