Playing with a knob - ever done it?

[TheTrueReview]

Yep, it happened to me last weekend. The starter joined me up with a pair of members. Now, to set the scene, I like to be fairly unobtrusive during a round. Concentrate on my game, occasional conversation, maybe a drink afterward - that's it.

So, I'm paired up with a father & his adult son. Never met them before. The father (aka knob) starts to ask questions on the front 9 - eg. how old are you, what do you do for a living, how long a member etc. I treat them as 'getting to know you questions'. My occupation has a relationship with the world of employment, so when I tell him what I do, he comes out with, "Whatever happens, the workers always gets screwed". Yeah right, thanks for that little pearl.

By the back nine it started to gel that some of his questions had an agenda behind them. For example, in hindsight, he subtly accused me of testing the putting surface when marking the ball. F.F.S. - the greens had just been cored, there'd be no point in testing the surface. Then when I'm lining up my wedge shot to the last hole, he makes a doubting comment about me using a lob wedge b/c he's using a gap wedge. So, when I fly the pin one club too long, he says, "well I suppose you do have big shoulders".

Then when the game's over & we're signing cards, he subtly suggests I acquaint myself with the rules better. By this stage, my mind was on what I had to do with the rest of my day.

So, later that day, I piece the events of the back 9 together & my blood starts to boil. It gelled that this knob was niggling me on the back 9. I then start to visual next time I run into him, ripping his head off & drop kicking it off the first tee.

Anyone had a similar experience? Your preferred method in dealing with knobs?

[sms316]

Anyone had a similar experience? Your preferred method in dealing with knobs?
I drew 2 complete fkwits at Redcliffe one day. One kept asking inane questions for the first couple of holes, and even asked me to look at his swing and tell him what I thought.

I faked back spasm on the 3rd and walked off. It was either that or waste another 4 hours doing something which I was getting no satisfaction out of.

[Webster]

Harden up Princesses.

[macjackass]

Harden up Princesses.

What's wrong with not wanting to waste 4 hours of your life?

[Webster]

4 hours of golf is not a waste

[3oneday]

Correct

[TheTrueReview]

4 hours of golf is not a waste

It is if you're forced to bruise your knuckles on a knob's cranium.

[Daves]

Ignore the knobs, act as though they don't even exist, stare right through them. They hate not getting any reaction or recognition!

[Webster]

It is if you're forced to bruise your knuckles on a knob's cranium.

According to your first post you didnt nothing of the sort, although perhaps you should have!

In all seriousness, I see no problem in just asking the bloke to shut the **** up while you are playing your shots. If he wants to have a chat in between shots, then he is entitled to do so, however you are not compelled to listen. Just walk up the other side of the fairway or get well out in front of him. If he continues to be rude then you are certainly entitled to give him a blast.

[Moe Norman]

I find that just telling them that you think they're a knob and not to talk to you for the rest of the round works best. I've only done this twice and it worked both times.

Has to be a real top notch knob to require this course of action though. Otherwise I just niggle back if they're 'that' kind of knob.

[Minor_Threat]

I find that just telling them that you think they're a knob and not to talk to you for the rest of the round works best. I've only done this twice and it worked both times.

Has to be a real top notch knob to require this course of action though. Otherwise I just niggle back if they're 'that' kind of knob.I like to take this approach also..

[macjackass]

4 hours of golf is not a waste

It is if someone is being a knob and screwing your day up.

[BroKar]

Had this a few weeks ago, ask them a question in there backswing a few times, that will piss them off enough not to talk anymore, worked for me

[Webster]

It is if someone is being a knob and screwing your day up.

That only happens if you choose to do nothing about it. Speak up ffs.

[mint]

when it happened to me and i couldnt handle it by the 3rd hole I just turned to the 2 knobs playing with us and said..

"it just feels good to be out again" to which they agreed and then i followed with.. "I just hate having to play with my parole officer... how stupid giving me a golf club near him"..

They walked off two holes later..

I won the A grade that day.

[Ferrins]

I play alot by myself, so I'm used to it.

[TheTrueReview]

I play alot by myself, so I'm used to it.

http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/images/frank_costanza.png Serenity now! Serenity now!

[solarman]

I play frequently with 3 knobs and I'm not talking about oven knobs.
If they wore turtle necks they would look the real deal.

[Tomson]

It is if you're forced to bruise your knuckles on a knob's cranium.

I have given up now, I just yell at people now. I don't care anymore if someone starts that shite I just loose it and jump round like a monkey and curse them. They usually get scared enough to shut up.

[haysey]

You don't scare me you giant angry man...

[Tomson]

You don't scare me you giant angry man...

But you're not a knob.... oh wait... nope you're still not a knob.

[sms316]

But you're not a knob.... oh wait... nope you're still not a knob.

Poll?

[Eag's]

Knobs are everywhere, including on the golf course. I have had my fair share over the years, although being half deaf does have it's advantages at times :)

[bluescooter]

I played golf with SMS one day.

[WBennett]

I played with SMS one day.

Lets leave what happens in the changerooms in the changerooms.

[WBennett]

I've never had to tell anyone to **** off on the course, but I have suggested to a bloke that he should learn how to count.

He didn't enjoy that, but I pointed out to him that three times in the round I had corrected his score to worse than he suggested. Once is careless, twice is a pattern, three times is a cheat.

[Dotty]

This problem soon disappears with a calm and open discussion.

Usually between me and two of my other personalities.


ps. TTR, when did you have a game with ParMaster's dad? :twisted:

[solarman]

I am a pretty good judge of character and I soon figure out by the second hit of the day whether they are a knob or not and then I sulk for the round and wonder what I did to deserve them.

That's why I always get to play by myself because it can't be me who's the knob. Not everyone can be as perfect and sympathetic as I.:o:o

[Ferrins]

I am a pretty good judge of character and I soon figure out by the second hit of the day whether they are a knob or not and then I sulk for the round and wonder what I did to deserve them.

That's why I always get to play by myself because it can't be me who's the knob. Not everyone can be as perfect and sympathetic as I.:o:o

The birds in the trees think your a knob after one shot.

[matty]

Your preferred method in dealing with knobs?

I've only ever had one. A bloke in his late teens who ability did not match his expectations. He was just rude to the group from the first tee. No one in particular. He carried on if his shot wasn't perfect, walked across people's putting line (a pet hate), walked off and away from the green when others were still putting, ignored conversation but tried to engage in conversation about how good his game was, etc etc.

By about hole 7 I started to stand on his line when lining up my putt, if my shot wasn't perfect off the tee I swung around cursing in his face about what a shit shot it was, the others were in on it too. We all started to walk off and left him by himself putting at one stage. It was pretty funny actually.

He actually pulled us up about it to which I replied, 'Treat others as you want to be treated you f'en goose. Treat your partners with a bit of respect otherwise piss off'

He kept playing with us and didn't say a word for the rest of the round but his behaviour was a heap better.

I found out later he had a reputation for that. I just stayed away from his name on the timesheet from then on by at least two groups.

[sms316]

I've only ever had one. A bloke in his late teens who ability did not match his expectations. He was just rude to the group from the first tee. No one in particular. He carried on if his shot wasn't perfect, walked across people's putting line (a pet hate), walked off and away from the green when others were still putting, ignored conversation but tried to engage in conversation about how good his game was, etc etc.

By about hole 7 I started to stand on his line when lining up my putt, if my shot wasn't perfect off the tee I swung around cursing in his face about what a shit shot it was, the others were in on it too. We all started to walk off and left him by himself putting at one stage. It was pretty funny actually.

He actually pulled us up about it to which I replied, 'Treat others as you want to be treated you f'en goose. Treat your partners with a bit of respect otherwise piss off'

He kept playing with us and didn't say a word for the rest of the round but his behaviour was a heap better.

I found out later he had a reputation for that. I just stayed away from his name on the timesheet from then on by at least two groups.

You don't happen to be a member at any of the following, do you?

Muirfield?
Pennant Hills?
Oatlands?
NSWGC?

(I think that cover them).

[Johnny Canuck]

It is if you're forced to bruise your knuckles on a knob's cranium.

TTR?

The Tomo Review?

[TheTrueReview]

A post scrip to the OP - the knob's son was fine. Fairly quiet, occasional conversation. Appeared to be concentrating on his game. No complaints there.

[matty]

You don't happen to be a member at any of the following, do you?

Muirfield?
Pennant Hills?
Oatlands?
NSWGC?

(I think that cover them).

No. I'm at Lynwood. My knob incident happened on the Central Coast when I was playing up there.

[henno]

You don't happen to be a member at any of the following, do you?

Muirfield?
Pennant Hills?
Oatlands?
NSWGC?

:lol:

[matty]

I am a pretty good judge of character and I soon figure out by the second hit of the day whether they are a knob or not and then I sulk for the round and wonder what I did to deserve them.

:lol:

That's how I would think too.

[mike]

...I see no problem in just asking the bloke to shut the **** up while you are playing your shots. If he wants to have a chat in between shots, then he is entitled to do so, however you are not compelled to listen. Just walk up the other side of the fairway or get well out in front of him. If he continues to be rude then you are certainly entitled to give him a blast.Yep.

If I think someone in my group is a knob they quickly find out that I think they're a knob.

Speak up . It works.

[sms316]

Yep.

If I think someone in my group is a knob they quickly find out that I think they're a knob.

Speak up . It works.
I think you're a knob Mike.

[AndyP]

I don't like confrontations.

[mike]

Nor do I.

[markTHEblake]

Then when I'm lining up my wedge shot to the last hole, he makes a doubting comment about me using a lob wedge b/c he's using a gap wedge.

You could have hung a penalty on him for that.

[Outcast]

I have given up now, I just yell at people now. I don't care anymore if someone starts that shite I just loose it and jump round like a monkey and curse them. They usually get scared enough to shut up.

Wow, I haven't seen this side of Thomson - so, can I take it that I'm not a knob.... or are you just working up to telling me how you feel :-)

I just ignore them.... I play with a guy (Thommo know's who) who is rather self obsessed; a reasonable golfer, not a bad bloke (IMHO) but, can be a bit of a knob... When he gets knobby, I just walk a little faster and don't respond to his comments...

I find that if I play with knobs I don't know I just ignore them; practice tuning out distractions and make it look like I am purely focussed on my game... generally works for me...

[Outcast]

I am a pretty good judge of character and I soon figure out by the second hit of the day whether they are a knob or not and then I sulk for the round and wonder what I did to deserve them.

That's why I always get to play by myself because it can't be me who's the knob. Not everyone can be as perfect and sympathetic as I.:o:o
:smt078

[Toolish]

walked off and away from the green when others were still putting

I may just out myself as a knob here but I don't have a problem with this bit. Better than all standing around talking shit and wandering to the next tee taking forever!

On the original topic I regularly play with one guy who I could do without playing with. He is one of my mates work mates and takes a bit to go around with, but due to the workplace deal we both put up with it. Hw is nothing like the guys mentioned here....just super slow to play with and talks himself up a fair bit!

[TheTrueReview]

I think you're a knob Mike.

:lol:

[Ferrins]

I tee off on the next hole before they finish putting

[Tomson]

hello

[Courty]

Please don't say that I know him. I nearly took his head of his shoulders today in the car park, so I am not very impressed at the moment. He is a very rude individual and I had to use every inch of self control not to do anything. So he is a bad bloke thank you.

Yep, Tomson was fuming after that little conversation. It was funny for the rest of us though. :lol:

Oh, and Outcast... you're a knob. 8)

[Moe Norman]

I may just out myself as a knob here but I don't have a problem with this bit. Better than all standing around talking shit and wandering to the next tee taking forever!

On the original topic I regularly play with one guy who I could do without playing with. He is one of my mates work mates and takes a bit to go around with, but due to the workplace deal we both put up with it. Hw is nothing like the guys mentioned here....just super slow to play with and talks himself up a fair bit!


I tee off on the next hole before they finish putting

I do that if I think they're too slow and I want to drop a hit. But if we're easily keeping up with the group in front and making good time, its only polite to stand on the green while people hole out

[Tomson]

Yep, Tomson was fuming after that little conversation. It was funny for the rest of us though. :lol:

Oh, and Outcast... you're a knob. 8)

I think fuming is an understatement. I am still angry, can't wait till I see him next.

I can't believe anyone would want to play with him.

[LarryLong]

I love everybody, so I don't have this problem.

You people need to lighten up.

[Hux]

I have given up now, I just yell at people now. I don't care anymore if someone starts that shite I just loose it and jump round like a monkey and curse them. They usually get scared enough to shut up.


Do you comb your back and pick the nits out of Solarmans hair?

[Courty]

I love everybody, so I don't have this problem.

Woodstock called, they want their groovy free-lovin' attitude back. ;)

[Tomson]

Do you comb your back and pick the nits out of Solarmans hair?

I bought band aids the other day for my knuckles.. they tend to drag alittle.

[Outcast]

Please don't say that I know him. I nearly took his head of his shoulders today in the car park, so I am not very impressed at the moment. He is a very rude individual and I had to use every inch of self control not to do anything. So he is a bad bloke thank you.

Noted...

I wasn't suggesting you 'know him' rather that you would know who I was referring to...

[Outcast]

Oh, and Outcast... you're a knob. 8)

Thankyou, it's good to know where I stand...:smt108

[MegaWatty]

I bought band aids the other day for my nipples.. they tend to drag alittle.

I don't know why. I just felt the urge to.

[TourFit]

Speaking about playin' with knobs...!

[MegaWatty]

Speaking about playin' with knobs...!

You having a 'Thomas The Tank' whilst posting 'fit? Sick bastard.

[bergsey]

I played with an older gent a while back (an ex committee member) who was a right knob.

On the 3rd hole i said to the rest of the group "i'm hitting a provisional" as i'd hit my drive into the scrub (stroke round).

As we were walking down the fairway, the knob came up to me and said "you are a young fella and you don't know the rules, you have to state that you are playing a provisional. This time i won't penalise you but don't ever do it again..... now the thing that p*ssed me right off was that i said to him 'yes i know the rules, i did state i was playing a provisional and you mustn't have heard me, although i said it loud and clear and the others in the group acknowledged it. Clearly the others were softc*cks as none of them backed me up then and there. They pulled me aside at the next tee and said "don't worry about it mate, we heard you, no problem etc".

This guy wouldn't let it drop and kept on at me for the next few holes about not understanding the rules and how i was really really lucky that he wasn't calling penalties on me. I just ignored it.

Knobs!!

[TourFit]

I was new member at ML, and I was in a group with an older guy who'd been there for years.

I was wearing a BRAND NEW mock collared shirt (Adidas, of course!). He came up to me and mentioned that we young guys have no respect for the etiquette and dress regulations etc etc etc.

My response was firm & clear. I mentioned that had he actually looked at the LATEST club rules (not those from 1959), he may have noticed that the dress regulations had changed and that mocks were acceptable. I also mentioned that HIS dress sense had a lot to be desired and that his shirt, whilst having a collar, looked like it had sat in the sun for 3 years and had been nibbled at by every silverfish in WA during that time, and perhaps he should spend some coin and get a new one.

I also said that a red/green marbled shirt, with royal blue shorts, white knee length socks and brown golf shoes certainly DIDN'T make him look like a golfer...but that it made him look like he'd got dressed in the dark OR ELSE he was deliberately trying to look ridiculous.

When he took offence and called me rude, my playing partners told him that he'd been well put in his place and to shut up now. I appreciated that from them. Nice blokes and I've played many times with the two of them. Never again with the other KNOB though!

[Yossarian]

Just last night.:smt047

[sms316]

Just last night.:smt047

Glamour magazine?

[TourFit]

Probably a mens underwear catalogue...

[rubin]

Was [playing a round with the old boy down in safety bay last week and got stuck with some old fart. Apparently this old fart is the 'club knob', and has difficulty getting people to play a round with him. Kinda felt sorry for the bloke so let him come along.

From the fairway on the frist to the green on 18 he proceeded to tell me how My swing is all wrong (sorry grandpa but arn't i about 20 shots up on you?), I dont know the rules (from the bloke who hit 4, YES 4! provisional balls off the same hole without a comment), I don't know the dress code ( I was like everyone else on the course or better dressed), and we young people dont have any respect for the game.

Needless to say, by the time I got the 3rd or 4th, I could fully understand why this bloke couldn't get a game with anyone.

[solarman]

Saw the premiere of "Due Date" last night. Has the weird guy from "The Hangover" in it.

Has a great self gratification scene in it.

[TheTrueReview]

.....

When he took offence and called me rude, my playing partners told him that he'd been well put in his place and to shut up now. I appreciated that from them. Nice blokes and I've played many times with the two of them. Never again with the other KNOB though!

Seems like a lot of the knob chronicles (mine included) involved long standing members who like to p*iss on their territory in their bizarre way.

[rubin]

Seems like a lot of the knob chronicles (mine included) involved long standing members who like to p*iss on their territory in their bizarre way.

Knob Chronicles :lol:!

[pt73]

The funniest I have ever seen, was a Yarpie kid at my club who was mouthing off about how good he was hitting the ball (a 2 marker at that stage) and generally pissing off the whole group. On about the 8th hole he asked one of the group what he did for a living. He replied that he had his own business but used do to iron man events in the past. The kid then started mouthing off about how good he was at iron man when he was back in SA. So he asked the guy if he was any good, to which Guy Leech replied "I guess world champion is pretty good, how about you". The kid shut up after that.

[hocko]

Played with "king knob" on the weekend, he wasn't from Australia but from a rugby playing nation somewhere pretty close. (not that that should matter)
Anyway, same kind of thing, loved to talk during backswings and a real pro of the rules. I think he may have mentioned that he wrote them for the R & A back in the 19th century.
He did not make any comments on any of my playing partners drives or good iron shots or anything but proceeded to tell us how flush he had hit his drive or how well he read a putt.
I was getting kinda tired of it by the back nine and told him to shut up as i was about to hit my putt. He took exception to this on the next hole and had a go at me for trying to read the line of his putt. (wanker)
Anyway, I played some pretty good golf that day and when we went into the clubhouse for drink he was telling everyone how well he played and it seemed to rub off on his playing partners.
He shot an 86 playing off 12 and i had 76, to which i said to him that 10 shots was a lot of difference and maybe there are better golfers around than you? To which he replied " i dunno, i had a pretty bad day today"?

KNOB!

[goughy]

Years ago played in a group with this total dick who had some serious cards on himself. about an 8hc he was, throwing clubs, swearing his head off etc etc. I just mostly avoided him and stuck with the other 2 guys who I'd played a fair amount of golf with and were top blokes. 16th hole he props it into a bunker and the ranting continues. Plays his bunker shot well past the hole and I start to walk my bag to the back of the green in front of him and he takes about 10 swings in the bunker covering me and half the green in sand. Not a word from him. In the end he slams home the par. Walking up the 17th I comment to one of the guys about how big a dick this guy was; the guy replies with be careful what you say, the other guy in the group is his father! Then he says that his dad usually avoids playing in a group with him.

For all his tantrums he finished up about on his hc for the round. Never been grouped with him again.

[Moe Norman]

The funniest I have ever seen, was a Yarpie kid at my club who was mouthing off about how good he was hitting the ball (a 2 marker at that stage) and generally pissing off the whole group. On about the 8th hole he asked one of the group what he did for a living. He replied that he had his own business but used do to iron man events in the past. The kid then started mouthing off about how good he was at iron man when he was back in SA. So he asked the guy if he was any good, to which Guy Leech replied "I guess world champion is pretty good, how about you". The kid shut up after that.

Thats pretty amusing as I encountered a similar scenario at BGC one day.

I was playing in the first group on a Saturday morning and we were playing with Julian Huxley, a south african kid and an 'older member'. This South African kid had serious tickets on himself about both his golfing ability and rugby ability. He was clearly toning it down a bit, as Huxley has recently made his Wallaby debut and the conversation generally revolved around Rugby and obviously he couldn't big note himself too much in the presence of a current wallaby. I made a few comments and observations on the game, which this tool completely dismissed and then late in the round the 'older member' made some observations and even had the audacity to give Huxley some tips. The South African bloke pulls me aside with this incredulous look "who does this bloke think he is, giving Huxley tips?"

I was quite amused and told him he should tell the old guy to pull his head in. So this young jarpie sledged the old guy for the last couple of holes and then on the 18th really had a go at him and basically told him not to get involved in the rugby chatter with us young blokes. The old guy was a bit surprised but merely continued on to say something about the angles that Huxley should be running from fullback to which, finally this young jarpie let fly with "seriously mate, what the **** would you know about running angles, leave him alone!"

Andrew Slack replied, "Well I captained a Grand Slam and played 84 tests at outside centre for the Wallabies, so I'm better off talking about Rugby than your shitty golf swing!"

[WBennett]

Joel Monoghans dog has

[henno]

That is golden, Moe. :lol:

[Ferrins]

I do that if I think they're too slow and I want to drop a hit. But if we're easily keeping up with the group in front and making good time, its only polite to stand on the green while people hole out

I left you on the green at Pelican to race over to the drink cart chick.8-)

Sorry

[PeteyD]

pt73 - love that, classic stuff, like bad guy falling face first in poo.

and Moe's too. Great stuff.

[Moe Norman]

I left you on the green at Pelican to race over to the drink cart chick.8-)

Sorry

I don't recall even playing with you at Pelican, ever.

So you mustn't be a knob.

[Chris32]

I've only played once with a guy I wanted to smack in the gob, he was a Irish fella, nice enough on the first few holes but then started getting really stuck in.

I think it was the 4th hole and I hit a little fade that started up the middle and ended up in the right rough in some tree's. His comment was - "No commitment on that swing at all, no commitment, that was just horrible"

I managed to cut a 4 iron out of the crap onto the green and yelled out "no commitment on that one either, just garbage". Then he started to bag my putting, my chipping and by the 9th hole drinks break he was really bagging everything about my game! On the 10th tee he says " so you just going to hit one of those gay fades again.." As he's about to hit my blood was boiling and I thought I had to say something.

I said "I bet you are a IRA member.... or just a wanker in general..." Shook hands on 18 and that was it

[Moe Norman]

you sure showed him

[Chris32]

you sure showed him

Nah, it was quite lame actually :D One of those random things that just pops out. A true Seinfeld moment!

I've spoken to him since and both apologized, he said someone had to him he was a pain to play with and he should change his ways.

The best type of people to play with are the ones that give you a running commentary on their current and previous 5 times they have played! Makes a ipod on the course seem quite reasonable

[dave1]

hers what i do when playing with a knob

dont fight it

go the other way...be outwardly happy yourself...cheer every good shot by everyone else including him......even clap your own shots.....give a fist pump when you sink a decent putt

ya see nothing is going to change him or her.....either of two things will happen

It will either infuriate that person more.....making them a bigger knob

or B it will actually make them realise they need to relax or so whatever

gurantee one of them will happen...win winn i say

I played with a guy yesty who complains about everything...I just kept saying what a great course we have and how great the weather was....and how good it is to play on wednesday arvy when everyone else was at work slaving away........I even said whe're not stuck in a mine shaft!!

and that we are truley blessed to be so lucky

it annoyed him more....ya know what I lioved every minute of it.....took his money also.....

and i finsiehed off by saying 'golf is allot about what you think not about how what you do..."......

he didnt comne for a drink and thats fine....

ya cant change poeple- I just let them wallow in in thier own mud

[Webster]

C-

[sms316]

C-

For spelling or effort?

[razaar]

Yes once.