I need help!!!

[Flowergirl]

Please - this is a serious plea. No wise cracks please.
I am in such a slump with my game and I can't seem to get out of it.
I have had nearly a year of bad golf - check my golf link if you think I am exaggerating.:smt087

I know that it is all in my head. When I practise I hit the ball just how I want to - no problems at all. And even at pennant - when the pressure should be at it's highest - I play great. 4 wins out of 4 and I am usually playing girls off better handicaps.

But when I play any comp game I just play like crap. I have tried every approach I can think of - trying less - trying more. Not caring about the score - caring. But I am just getting worse and worse.
This time last year I was playing off 14 consistantly - now 17 - and very soon I will go out to about 20.

I feel humiliated - and the little "digs" from some of the members at my club doesn't help. I am Captain for the second year and this does add to the stress. I am already made fun of because I practise - lucky to be once a fortnight - but for some reason this amuses the women at my club beacause "practise" is a dirty word to them!!

I try to talk to John - but he doesn't get it. The few girls at golf that seem to understand just tell me not to worry then proceed to tell me about their golfing woes. :shock:

I am not enjoying my golf and not enjoying being Captain. I am far too thin skinned to put up with all the crap - all you get are complaints and frankly I wonder why I bother.

So what do I do?
Practise more and really focus on my game?
Just give it away all together?
Just go and play and not give a crap about the result?
Resign as Captain or suck it up for the rest of the year?

In writing this I am answering some of my questions already.
I can't quit as Captain - that is even more a more selfish and childish act as what I accuse some of members of doing.

I can't give it away. I do love golf - it defines me as a person. That's why this hits me so hard.

Sorry for the rant ( no my name isn't Ziggy)

Any advise would be really appreciated.

[sms316]

Reenie,

Most club captains seem to lose form. This may be due to lack of time on their part, or taking all of the excess baggage with them onto the course. I've only ever once (briefly) worked at a club which I was a member of and I hated it.

[Flowergirl]

I am thinking the excess baggage is the issue. In pennant I am not team captain and I think also having a caddie helps.
Every comp day there is an "issue". Usually very very minor but it is enough to unsettle me. I think I need to just harden up.

[BrisVegas]

lash out on a series of lessons. You might just find some new tips or thoughts that change the game for you. Heck, even golfer69 found something recently that's halted the slide.... (pun intended)

good luck.

[Flowergirl]

lash out on a series of lessons. You might just find some new tips or thoughts that change the game for you. Heck, even golfer69 found something recently that's halted the slide.... (pun intended)

good luck.

Still having semi regular lessons. My pro cannot understand why I am not shooting the lights out when I play. It's all mental - all I am just mental I should say.

[3oneday]

I don't know if there is an answer apart from time. I experienced the same thing for the past 2 to 3 years, going from 4 to 7 and simply being unable to play how I wanted to. Then, I took 3 weeks off after a knee op and started to play consistently better. Maybe a freshen up, ie go to the spelling paddock for a few weeks.

[AndyP]

You have a strength in matchplay, which tells me you are good on focusing on one hole at a time. Try taking this attitude into one of your comp rounds. Maybe treat each round like it's Par format?

[razaar]

Maybe you are playing golf swing and not golf. I just finished read a book by Kathy Whitworth (most PGA wins male or female), she said she didn't start winning until she thought "target". Her advice is to make the target your last thought before swinging or putting.

[Bruce]

Do something different before the round.

Are you rushing to the course, or getting there in plenty of time? Are you warming up, or walking straight to the tee?

Perhaps Johnny can help out with some morning glory to clear your head.

[chappy1970]

I agree with AndiP, you clearly have the mental strength to focus on a Matchplay match, so why couldn't this strength be translated into a standard comp event.

Your success in Matchplay indicates that it probably isn't a swing flaw and the fact that you are having lessons suggests that you are committed to improving further.

My advice, and you can take it or leave it, is to not put yourself up for Captaincy next time. Golf is supposed to be enjoyable and if you are being distracted teh enjoyment will be lost a little. Oh and also who gives a flying f$%k what the old bIATCHES at your course think about your game, your the one who has to hit the ball them.

Perhaps a few mental drills to filter out all the crap on the course that isn't important.

my 2c's worth.

[Flowergirl]

Thanks guys. I really appreciate your input.
Chappy - what mental drills do you mean? Would like further info on this.

I used to pride myself on my mental strength and ability to focus. I come from an acting background - mainly stage - and trust me you need to have very strong focus to perform in front of a live audience. But in saying this - I do remember that towards the end of my "career" I lost my nerve and found the pressure too much. I had forgotten about this!!! I obvoiusly am not as strong as I thought I was. Maybe admitting this will help me with my golf.

[matty]

Hey Flowergirl,

I'd give up the captaincy once the year is out and like someone else said, take a break.

Don't play any comps for a while and have a social hit only if you really want. I found myself recently standing over the ball thinking 'how do I do a backswing'!!!!

Played once in the following month on a social hit. Then played twice in the last month in comps and have played two of my best ever rounds.

I had no expectations and played cause I wanted to enjoy the game. Previously every game was out to beat ther handicap or others. You'd think I was trying to earn a living off it I was so serious about it. That was the difference.

Golf is too much fun. Take a step back. My 2c worth

[TheNuclearOne]

I think SMS nailed it in simple terms. It's the excess baggage. Either try to find something to get around it (mental drills or summin) or maybe let the position go at the end of it's term. I can understand your dedication to not pulling the pin immediately.

[chappy1970]

Rennie I'm not aware of the techniques you employ in your Matchpaly games, are you chatty with your opponent, do you use your caddy as a sounding board. There is something you do differently in a comp as opposed to matchplay that is the difference.

Do you play with friends in a comp round? Do you play with members who you would rather not, this is easy to fix.

If you chat regularly with your playing partners in a comp round stop a full 30-45 seconds before your shot. Consider the shot in front of you, pick your landing area or target, zone out of everything but the shot you want to play. Get back to being friendly after you have done what you came to do.

I think the most important thing is to disregard the things the other members are saying to you as soon as you get to the course, because it is putting your mind in a bad place before you start.

You have a big personality, use it to your advantage by focusing on the important stuff.

[Lucasto23]

I would look at a layoff of about a month to maybe even two from comps and regular practice, as everyone has said your head is their in matchplay so no real reason you cannot translate that to a normal comp round. If you wanted to through money at the problem you could look at the ProgolfIQ program which is an audio programme to help with relaxation and mental strength for around $200:shock:

I bought it and got through the first 3 weeks of the 6 week programme and it helped alot. Crap i better listen to it again to get my moneys worth:oops:

[goughy]

wow you sound like me at various times, and just recently with my tri stuff.



I can't give it away. I do love golf - it defines me as a person. That's why this hits me so hard.



This is so wrong! Golf is something you do to pass the time, have fun and to spend time with others. What defines you is the way you treat your neighbour, your values, etc. Your golfing ability means nothing to me. Don't get me wrong, I get it's important to you. What I do is important to me - I wanna run 40min for 10k, not 48mins. But if I don't then I don't.

If your golfing partners have little sniggers at your scores, then how you respond is the sort of thing that defines you, not the score. Telling them you got better value for money, and meaning it. And maybe realising that their little sniggers is something that defines them as people - is that the type of person you wanna be.

I'm feeling all holistic atm me thinks!

Keep up playing as much as you want to. Keep up the pennants asyou obviously enjoy it. Keep up thepractice too. But enjoy it first. Eventually things click and the improvement you want will come i spades and you'll wonder what this thread was all about?

[goughy]

Btw, the one thing I learnt is with this mindset you will never meet your goals; you will always set them higher and higher and higher, expect more and more and more and it will never be fun. I did the hyper-focusing on it to try and make it better, I tried the not focusing on it to try and make it better but in the end you're just pressuring yourself to not feel pressured. Now go out, have a shit round of golf and enjoy every minute of it! You could have been at work....

[mint]

I agree with chappy!!

Also just remember to enjoy yourself out there and HAVE FUN. I put together 8 or 9 really terrible comp rounds and was beating myself up on it and getting worse and worse until my close friend and playing partner kept making jokes on the course, we were laughing and mucking around and all of a sudden I was flushing it again.. If you keep a Positive Mental Attitude and are happy out on the course your natural swing will follow.

Dont sweat the small stuff... and remember that its all SMALL stuff !!

[LeftyHoges]

You've nailed it with the captaincy. I took over as captain of my club during a crisis and was a very solid 4 marker at the time. Now, I'm lucky to play 25 rounds in a year and for the year I was captain I drifted from 3.7 to 5.4. Couldn't break 90 most times out. A great round for me at that time was when I didn't go out 0.1 (or 0.2 in some cases).

Somehow, you have to block out all the distractions, crap and utter bullshit from the people around you while you're playing and focus on every individual shot. Exactly how to do that is the golden question. Figure that out and you have your golden answer.

Good luck with it, I certainly couldn't conquer it.

[Dotty]

Try limit your on-course thoughts to ...
'Hit the fairway', 'Hit the green' and 'Sink the putt'.
It sounds like you do it already in matchplay.

But it is hard to clear your mind, when being captain makes it vulnerable to the burdens placed by the other players. (And these are often in conflict, such as being the sounding board for the slow players and those annoyed by the slow players, etc.)

Look into a succession plan for the club captaincy, as this can be the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. If you really want to relinquish the role, then let them know that you won't be standing for re-election, but can help the incumbent settle into the role.

Ironically, I play more golf now for exercise, as focussing on the above 3 thoughts and conversation with playing partners is a distraction from all the work, family, state, global, etc. problems. (Whereas my cycling and bushwalking just gave me time to get churned up with all these problems and the conflicting conditions attached to them.)

[Webster]

Princess, take a deep breath, and then toughen up a bit. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and just get on with the job. You shouldn't be giving a toss about any snide remarks from the blue rinse set, although if they persist then challenge them to a cat fight on the practice putting green and give them a bitch slapping they will never forget.

Life is too short to worry about this sort of crap. Just keep getting out there and slap the ball hard in the back of the ass....eventually you will come good. Failing that, get on the sauce during the round so you at least will have a fine excuse for your stinking play!

Love, Jack.

[Flowergirl]

Guys - you are all amazing!!! What great advice, compassion and concern you have given me. But you know what - I think Jack has a good point. I do need to harden up and stop feeling sorry for myself. And Goughy - you are right. Golf doesn't rule me - it has done - and that is wrong.
All of your advice makes so much sense.
I love you all. And thanks so much.
XXXXXXXXXXX Reeny.

[Toolish]

Hard to argue with most of what is said above. I have never held a position in a golf club so don't understand that stress. However you need to find a way, some way, to get around that or any other non-golf issues while playing.

What are your thoughts when you practice? What about when you play?

What specifically is letting you down...are you hitting it worse, putting it worse, chipping it bad...or all of the above. Have a hard tihnk about why your game has gone to the shit?

Have you read Bob Rotella's books...if not give them a look. Or you could do what I do and use a clear-key.

[Hawkers2008]

Its all mental.

Maybe you should try to totally chill out. Take yourself to the Peninsula spa baths and relax, maybe have a treatment. Even if that doesn't clear your head it will be a nice treat.

If you want something for the mental side check out a Rotella book or two (I see now I should have read the last post). If you want to really invest try the ProIQ thing, I know a few people who have had good results with it.

[TheNuclearOne]

Fair chance you will feel a weight lifted off your shoulders on the course already FG, for simply having got it off your chest and conversed in here.

[Flowergirl]

Well I played comp yesterday and although I didn't play good - I did enjoy it. Anytime I got uptight I just said - out loud- harden up Princess - and laughed at myself. I gave myself the goal yesterday to be a pleasant playing partner and achieved that goal.
Thanks again guys for hearing my self indulgent woes.

[sms316]

Reenie - do you get into conversations about off-course stuff on-course?

[Flowergirl]

Reenie - do you get into conversations about off-course stuff on-course?

Do you mean about club politics while I'm playing? If so - then yes. I hadn't really noticed until yesterday how much this does happen. Yesterday I just said - can we just leave this until we finish and then we can discuss it. And it was fine. Would have been a factor for me previously. I am not good at just forgetting about things and getting on with the game. But I am learning.

[sms316]

Do you mean about club politics while I'm playing? If so - then yes. I hadn't really noticed until yesterday how much this does happen. Yesterday I just said - can we just leave this until we finish and then we can discuss it. And it was fine. Would have been a factor for me previously. I am not good at just forgetting about things and getting on with the game. But I am learning.

Yes - you are learning. All you have to say is that you draw the line on the course and for a peroid of 4 hours you are just a member. You have plenty of time to listen to others after you finish your round. Most people will understand completely.

[IanO]

Opening up about the problem is the start of fixing the problem. I think that you are doing the right thing. Don't let them hassle you when you are just being a golfer, and enjoy the game, even if not playing well. There is always a positive to take from any round, no matter how crap the result.

PS. Thanks for the tips on Rosebud, I still putted really really badly but enjoyed the course no less.

[markTHEblake]

2 Pages of bullshit so far, except for Jack, though surprised nobody suggested doing a Keith Greig.

Everyone knows how to improve the golf, get lessons, practice putting, workout, and so on, but if the "How to's..." were all we ever needed we would all be plus handicap and playing the pro tour.

Motivation by itself is not enough,and obviously we all know that knowing the "how to's" does not work.

Try looking at it this way, Intention (deepest commitment) + Mechanism (How to) = result (goal)

You are looking for the mechanism, but you havent defined your result, nor have you got much intention happening. That is how everyone does it and thats we usually fail.

First you have to get commitment clear, so first set a goal (handicap target), put yourself at risk (make a bet), and make yourself accountable to others (report to Ozgolf). Now you have made your intention clear the right mechanism will appear! The right mechanism would be different for every person, it doesnt matter what it is, but your own personal experience will uncover what works best for you.

Remember the wanker who made a promise to Ozgolf a couple of years ago, that if his handicap didnt get below X by X then he would give up the game and take up lawn bowls, well he is still playing golf below that target handicap. Now that is a perfect example of putting yourself at risk, making yourself accountable in order make your intention clear.

Now you cant wimp out with a wowser effort, like betting someone $50 - it has to be something that will really hurt you if you lose, I mean really really hurt, like abstaining from something - for a year, otherwise you will likely fail if its too easy to quit.

The above formula is actually condensed to;
Intention = Results.

[Flowergirl]

Sorry Mark - I really must be stupid cos none of that makes sense to me. The previous 2 pages of "bullshit" did.

[Ned]

Sorry Mark - I really must be stupid cos none of that makes sense to me. The previous 2 pages of "bullshit" did.

What happened to enjoying the game ?

You don't do something unless you enjoy it for the majority (Except for work etc)

As everyone is different, maybe its about finding things that work consistently balanced with enjoyment.

Some days will be better then others and vice versa. Presently Match Play appears to be the better and stroke play appears to be the worse.

[markTHEblake]

Sorry Mark - I really must be stupid cos none of that makes sense to me. The previous 2 pages of "bullshit" did.

It means, there is no point asking people "how" to get out of your slump, because knowing that on its own is no help.

You need a goal - thats easy. Set a handicap target.

then you need to make a commitment.

[Hux]

You have a strength in matchplay, which tells me you are good on focusing on one hole at a time. Try taking this attitude into one of your comp rounds. Maybe treat each round like it's Par format?

+1. I think that is a really good point. AS I found out recently MP needs shot by shot ..never say die attitude. Its about matching your opponent. Maybe playing with a much better player and trying to match them hole by hole is what you need to get your head into the right place again ie you play golf against yourself first.