Ozgolf Sandgroper Championship

[simmsy]

I have added my prize in as 3rd place and put Yoss beer onto the 2nd place getter.

Are you happy with that or is there another novelty prize you want Yoss's beer to go to?

No JC we are not having Longest Drive!

[simmsy]

Also - has Yoss worked out his h/c yet? is it legit Adlo?

[adlo]

Hey, put a long drive in the mix.

I would suggest somewhere with suitable risk/reward.

Binningup #4 or 5, Bunbury #4, 9 or 12.

Edit: yoss a legit WAGL handicap of 20.

[Johnny Canuck]

Binningup 4 or Bunbury 9 are not good options at all.

[adlo]

Bunbury 9 is a fantastic option. Safe play is down towards the bunker with a long iron. The majority of the pro's on the weekend took driver over the RHS tree line, leaving a 30-40m pitch, but a poor shot was punished.

We cannot have it on a straight hole, if you hit the fairway you will win by a mile. Has to be on a hole with a risk-reward tee shot.

[Johnny Canuck]

Soft. I'll have to win it with a 4 iron.

Want me to putt left handed too?

[adlo]

OK fine, Bunbury 14. Elevated tee box, dead straight, see photos in the teaser thread....

I was just trying to make it interesting for the rest of us. You will probably block it out right anyway.

[TourFit]

OK fine, Bunbury 14. Elevated tee box, dead straight, see photos in the teaser thread....

I was just trying to make it interesting for the rest of us. You will probably block it out right anyway.


:smt029

[adlo]

He loves his blocky drives!

Who cares, TF and idgolfguy, the Sandgroper pygmies, can blast it past him anyways.

Mrs Simms has been known to hit the occasional bomb too.

OK, my vote is for Bunbury so you at least need some skill to hit the fairway (Binningup is cheating). Bunbury 3,5,7,11,14,15 and 17 are all great. Although my vote would be 14.

[idgolfguy]

That may cut down on the pollution... :razz:

Oh, id, if you WANT to leave soon after the round, it is no problemo. Just say so. I'm not bothered either way. So speak up !!
I'm good to stay on.

[idgolfguy]

Happy to put in the Adidas Climacool shirt (L) or bottle of alcohol.

[Johnny Canuck]

I play a controlled game. I may not even hit driver there if I feel that I am in contention.

The block is not part of my arsenal. The big slice can make an appearance, but no block.

[adlo]

Your call idg, you are now the official sponsor of the "PYGMY LONG DRIVE CONTEST".

Pick a hole.

Edit: JC, with a low spin driver and your height off the tee, a big slice looks more like a block. But I know what you mean.

[idgolfguy]

I'll look for the narrowest hole with the longest run on the fairway at Binningup. I don't know Bunbury and vaguely remember Binningup.
I'll bring both and the winner can chose. Whatever is left will either get worn or drunk either way.

[adlo]

Binningup has NO narrow holes. Repeat NO narrow holes.

#1 is a straight away drive par 5 with a 60-70m landing area.
#3 is an uphill drive, more than likely into the breeze, 520m par 5
#4 is a dogleg right, if taking driver need to cut corner.
#5 is par 5 dogleg right, big hitters will run out of room on the corner.
#7 is another uphill fairway, long par 4.
#8 is a no go these days. No fun.

[simmsy]

idg if you want a narrow hole but fairly straight i don't think you can go past 8 at Mandurah, it's landing area is only about 15m wide with bunker on L and slopes away to the bush on the R. bloody tuff hole.


No b'up holes for P.L.D!

[Zeusgolf]

Ok i'm throwing in a quality bottle of Tawny Port....for what ever prize needs to be allocated......

[idgolfguy]

7 it is. 4 being a fade is not conducive to long distance unless you're a southpaw.

[idgolfguy]

idg if you want a narrow hole but fairly straight i don't think you can go past 8 at Mandurah, it's landing area is only about 15m wide with bunker on L and slopes away to the bush on the R. bloody tuff hole.


No b'up holes for P.L.D!
I've got a match against TF at Mandurah so he may not have a go.

[simmsy]

??7?? which 7 b'up or bunbury?

[adlo]

Yes, idgg, please do tell. The P.L.D. contest must make the simmsy original post!

I vote for Zuesgolfers bottle'o'port to go to the best 9 hole stabelford score by any golfer over the entire weekend.

[idgolfguy]

I've got a match against TF at Mandurah so he may not have a go.

7 hole at Biningup for PLD.

[simmsy]

Adlo !


Done!

& no more prizes ffs i'm sick of editing this bloody OT.

Adlo print this sucker out and lets play golf you big overgrown gumby!:razz:

[TourFit]

simmsy...I notice that the novelties have titles according to the prize giver. That is, except mine.

Can you edit the OP to rename my putter donation as:
The TourFit "Piss Poor Putter" Award

And also, can you edit the JW Red bottle donation as:
The TourFit "Piss Poor All 'Round Golfer" Award

:mrgreen:

[simmsy]

GOD YOU'RE CRAP!

there you go, i hope that's better.:D:D

[TourFit]

"The Yossarian Handicap"....:). I like it...

...but doesn't he have enough already. :mrgreen:

[Yossarian]

You are all a bunch of cyber bullies. Admin clean this thread up please.



















:razz:

[mike]

Have fun lads. Sounds like a well organised weekend. Don't have it so far away next year.

[Yossarian]

Yeah next year I think maybe we should do it halfway through the year leaving a big gap between the two champs. That way we might get to both and some may make the trek over here?

[adlo]

That would be fun if some made the journey west, though I doubt it.

Meet you halfway in Alice Springs next year Mike?

OK, the giver of accommodation needs everybody to be aware:

BYO Towel
BYO Sleeping bag/bedding (even if you score the spare bed- she does not want a heap of washing when we leave, which is understandable)

Does anyone have some decent poker chips?

[Johnny Canuck]

i've got some good chips.

[TourFit]

I ate all my chips...you don't think I get a svelte figure like mine by playing poker with them do ya???

[adlo]

Ah, as Homer Simpson once said "Don't try to eat these so called chips...."

JC, bring em.

[Johnny Canuck]

make sure i bring them sat morn.

[adlo]

OK, it just made my "things not to forget when I am ultra tired on Saturday morning" list.

Top of the list is 1) Energy drink.

[Johnny Canuck]

golf shoes

[adlo]

They are in the car already along with my clubs. Can't take that risk.

[TourFit]

you think you have a list...i'm bringing down a list of clubs for any interested parties to try (& because i can).

i'm also responsible for simmsy's newly reshafted 3w...and adlo's if he doesn't show today!! (any offers from the others NOT to bring them?)

[Zeusgolf]

OK, it just made my "things not to forget when I am ultra tired on Saturday morning" list.

Top of the list is 1) Energy drink.

You ultra tried pfffffft......

[Johnny Canuck]

Predictions


1st place Nett S'ford Points - idgolfguy. I can't believe he's playing off the handicap he is. When I played with him, he was about an 8-10, not 16.
2nd - Simmsy. Mrs. Simms is also a bandit. The ladies tees are also a big advantage.
3rd - Johnny Canuck. Would also take "Best Gross" if anyone manned up and put up a prize.
Total - $150

5 x NP's @ $15 each pin
= $75
1. Mandurah 3: Zeusgolf - decent off the tee. Will 3 putt for a bogey.
2. Mandurah 17: JC - love this hole.
3. Binningup 9: JC - will be hitting 6 iron where Simmsy has to hit driver
4. Bunbury 1: Aldo - home course advantage
5. Bunbury 10: Tourfit - by that point he should have figured out which of his 6 sets to use and will actually hit a green.

MEGAWATTY PLATE - AWARDED TO LOWEST PUTTS OVER THE THREE ROUNDS!! - Johnny Canuck. Doens't hit too many greens, known for his scrambling. Usually won't wipe too many holes either.

NOVELTY "PRIZES"

TourFit "PISS POOR PUTTER AWARD" has donated a custom fitted putter to MOST PUTTS (NO TANKING TOLERATED)

Yossarian - I have only heard stories, but this seems like a lock.

ADLO has put up 1 dozen Callaway iX pills for the FIRST EAGLE of the comp. - JC will take this at Binningup #5.

JC has donated 1 dozen Callaway Diablo pills for the first to make 2TWO's in the one round or hit Yoss in the berries! In fact I will put up another $50 if someone hits Yoss in the berries with a fully fledged shank! -
Prediction - Zeusgolf gets fed up and toes one off Yoss' pills on the 3rd at Mandurah, even if they are in different groups.

SIMMSY is putting in 100 clams for anybody who jags an ACE (only 1 prize on offer) declarations are important!

Prediction - Yoss will try claiming this when he hits a massive hook onto the wrong green and into the cup.

TourFit (again) has put up a bottle of JW RED label TO BE FOREVER KNOWN AS THE "YOSSARIAN HANDICAP" FOR LAST PLACE WITH S'ford Points.
Prediction: Yoss will not have to go to the bottle shop on Sunday as he will be stocked up on JW.

THE IDG LONG JOHN SPOON AWARD - 7th hole at Binningup - PRIZE ALLOCATION PENDING
Prediction: JC, if he hits the fairway. Zeus if JC doesn't.

ZEUSGOLF ENCOURAGMENT CUP - Best 9 holes s'ford score at any course. - Prediction: Aldo. He'll shoot 30 points at Mandurah with 6 on the front and 24 on the back.


JC's wonderful mother in law was nice enough to "donate" and ugly-assed "Maxibon" polo shirt that says "Maxibon, for biters, not lickers".

It's black, with lovely red and white striping from the neck, all the way down to the bottom.

Whoever has bit it the most and is in last place after Mandurah, MUST wear it at Binningup.
Prediction: Surprisingly, Tourfit will have a rough morning.

Whoever is in last place after Mandurah and Binningup combined, MUST wear it on Sunday.
Prediction: Yoss will look sexy winning the Tourfit failure award at Bunbury.
It must be worn on top, no putting it under another shirt or vest.

[TourFit]

Predictions
3rd - Johnny Canuck. Would also take "Best Gross" if anyone manned up and put up a prize.


You could always have tickets on yourself !!! Even put up the prize yourself...for yourself.


PS:
Don't bet on me hitting the green on 10 at Bunbury !!!

I may also sneak up on you guys for the Longest Drive (if it's straight)

There is EVERY chance I will have a rough morning on Sat...but not enough to finish at the rear of THAT field !

I AM ONLY TAKING ONE SET OF CLUBS TO PLAY...the other additions are for you guys to have a hit of if you want to !!! (There may be an odd driver or putter that MAY make an appearance during the weekend, the rest are solidly in.)

[simmsy]

busy morning at work jc?:smt108


very funny indeedy though mate.

[TourFit]

Putting your 3W in the car now simmsy...so I don't have a senior moment later on!!!

[simmsy]

yeah gotta watch out for those senior moments mate!
they come up and grab you at any moments notice:lol:

thanks mate, good work.

[idgolfguy]

Wish I could steal a round in this arvo!

[Yossarian]

Just quietly I am going to smash all of you.

[idgolfguy]

Just quietly I am going to smash all of you.
http://rlv.zcache.com/golf_is_not_my_strong_suit_tshirt-p235088803382216907q6vb_400.jpg

[Yossarian]

It ok id one day you'll learn to play :)

[idgolfguy]

I live in hope!

[Yossarian]

Don't we all :)

Anyway back to the sledging. I think JC is going to fold under the weight of expectation he has put on himself, meanwhile I have nothing to prove and will destroy him both of the tee and on the green.

[adlo]

JC, funny stuff, and I think you will get a few right out of that list.

As TF said, he can easily creep up and take the Pygmy L.D. if he hits the fairway. The boy hits bombs.

[Yossarian]

I will let someone else have the long drive. Everything else is mine.

[idgolfguy]

I will let someone else have the long drive. Everything else is mine.
No harm in aiming high!

[adlo]

Can someone else print out simmsy Original Post?

My printer is no good at the moment.

[idgolfguy]

Done!

[simmsy]

chees idg.

Yoss, can you pick me up a SPORTS drink to make me go hard at it all day and all night!

something in red or green and make sure it's cold.

cheers young fella.

[Johnny Canuck]

You could always have tickets on yourself !!! Even put up the prize yourself...for yourself.


PS:
Don't bet on me hitting the green on 10 at Bunbury !!!

I may also sneak up on you guys for the Longest Drive (if it's straight)

There is EVERY chance I will have a rough morning on Sat...but not enough to finish at the rear of THAT field !

I AM ONLY TAKING ONE SET OF CLUBS TO PLAY...the other additions are for you guys to have a hit of if you want to !!! (There may be an odd driver or putter that MAY make an appearance during the weekend, the rest are solidly in.)

I didn't really think you would win it, just a sympathy vote.

There is a good chance you'll win the long drive because you'll be so far out of the overall that you'll be able to swing for the fences.


Wish I could steal a round in this arvo!

You dark-skinned guys. Always trying to steal something.


Just quietly I am going to smash all of you.

The only way you're smashing anyone is if you drink too much Bundy on Sat night.


I will let someone else have the long drive. Everything else is mine.

You always talked that you could hit it a long way. What's changed?

[TourFit]

You always talked that you could hit it a long way. What's changed?

HE MET THE REST OF US !!!!!

:mrgreen:

[Johnny Canuck]

what are the times at mandurah?

[adlo]

7am through 715am, although we only need 2 groups now.

Has someone printed the main post?

[idgolfguy]

I have made four copies.

[adlo]

Cool, 1st group remember to have some paper to put NTP's out.

[Johnny Canuck]

who is in the first group?

[idgolfguy]

I'm currently in a restaurant in Belmont listening to three Elvis wannabes sing Karaoke.I'm in he'll and what's worse, one of them is called Victor. Everytime they invite him up I cringe.

[adlo]

Not sure JC.

Ask O.M.S.

Everyone happy to bet, so really, we only need to keep idg and TF together for the match, and simmsy and his brother. The other 4 can fill the gaps.

[idgolfguy]

Here for my sister's birthday. I didn't think Elvis impersonators still existed.

[adlo]

I'm currently in a restaurant in Belmont

There is your problem. I thought that was an oxymoron.

[idgolfguy]

We've now got two Elvis' singing Stairway to Heaven. I have just learnt why Elvis never released a version

[simmsy]

Yep 7am teeoff. we can't teeoff earlier due to ground staff under direction from the pro - gary.

I thought the groups had been decided?

jc
adlo
simmsy
older simmsy

vic
tf
zeus
yoss????????????????


easy whichever way, or do you want to throw all our balls in the air and see who goes with who, taking out the matchplay and me and me brother.

[simmsy]

who is in the first group?


just make sure you're there for 7am.

it can take some time to get there through the suburbia of halls head so make sure you leave yourself plenty of time.

[adlo]

They were the suggested groupings. No problem with me as we will change it up around Binningup.

[simmsy]

yep change it up at each course, you gonna do it scores or just who hasn't played with who?

[Johnny Canuck]

why don't we put the match with you and your brother and the 4 others?

there, decided.

the match and the brothers tee off first.

[Johnny Canuck]

binningup we switch it up.

[simmsy]

yep cool.

my brother will more than likely shove his driver down tf's throat with all the talking he'll be doing.

be good to watch tf & vic go toe to toe, pretty even in the weight divisions too.

[adlo]

:lol:

Bunbury will be seeded on points, Binningup will simply be mixed up.

[adlo]

Good night all. Yossarian is going to give me a wake up call in the morning, if anyone else is feeling bright & chirpy, send me an sms. I will need all the help I can get.

[Johnny Canuck]

sounds good. calling it early myself. waiting on nero to respond...

[Yossarian]

man tmz is going to be a struggle. sweet dreams everyone. red bull is going to be awesome.

[adlo]

I had an energy drink in the fridge primed for the morning. My brother drank it without me knowing. Not happy Jan.

Will grab one on the drive to JC's.

[idgolfguy]

yep cool.

my brother will more than likely shove his driver down tf's throat with all the talking he'll be doing.

be good to watch tf & vic go toe to toe, pretty even in the weight divisions too.
I reckon I've got him in age and weight!

We'll see how we go for distance.

[Zeusgolf]

Well i'm sitting here feeling tired waiting for Simmsy to arrive.....

[adlo]

It is far too early, that is for sure. The things we do for love.......

of the game.

[Zeusgolf]

Yup i'll tank it this arvo bet im the first to crash.......after a few sherbies....

[adlo]

There has been talk of a nap under the trees at Binningup before the tee off. We have a big lunch break today.

[Johnny Canuck]

There's Zeus, setting us up for his softness again. Bring back Rebjon.

Just to clarify. Yoss can't win the dozen Diablos with a score of 22 on a single hole.

[idgolfguy]

Mandurah was wet on the last two holes. Great course. IdG and Tourfit are squared for the match. Extra holes to played at Biningup. Adlo leading with 34 points. Tourfit leading with 28 putts. Simmsy is now wearing the Mazibon shirt. Simmsy won the skins between Tourfit and IdGolfguy.

[MegaWatty]

How the worst putter looking boys?

[adlo]

OK, update after 27 holes.

Total stableford points:

Ad (Jaoquin) lo 49 points
Johnny Canuck 47 points (had 13 points on the final 5 holes at Binningup to score a bed for the night)
idgolfguy 46 points
TourFit 45 points
Zeusgolfer 45 points
Yossarian 44 points
simmsy Maxibon-boy 36 points

Putting tally:

TourFit 45.5 putts
Johnny Canuck 46.5 putts
idgolfguy 47
Yoss, Jaoquin, simmsy 51.5 putts
Zeus (wants a free putter) golfer 55 putts

Binningup was a treat as always. We got rained on (again).

No one took the NTP to the far yellow flag on #9. $25 NTP jackpot into #8 at Bunbury. We had a gallery of 30-40 Binningup members watching us down #9, and we all missed the green 8)

Johnny Canuck takes the Pygmy Long Drive on Binningup #7 with a 275m drive into the uphill fairway. Might be about his 3rd fairway for weekend :mrgreen:

Adlo and JC take an NTP each at Mandurah. Mandurah is a fantastic course. A fair few pics taken, but will not be able to upload until tomorrow.

More updates to follow tomorrow.

TourFit took the matchplay against idgg after 20 holes, 1 up.

[Golfnut]

Great report Adlo......looks like a very even field there too....

Glad you guys got wet :lol: though, makes me a tiny bit better about not being there.

What's happened to Mrs simmsy???? :shock: Leave his golf shoes at home or something???

Com'on Brad go get 'em!!! Yoooouuuu caaaan dooooo it!!!!

Still, might have to back Adlo from here on in lads.....home course advantage and all.

Enjoy boys!

[MegaWatty]

You're a disgrace to your home club Simmsey! Fire the **** up and shoot a score will you???

[zacdullard]

How did we go today?

[Zeusgolf]

Sore and tired.....

I'll let Aldo http://assets.gearlive.com/celebrities/blogimages/joaquin_phoenix2.jpg Joaquin Phoenix do the final round update......

[zacdullard]

Did you win the putter zeus?

[Yossarian]

I just got kicked of the left bank cause I tripped and spilt a drink into a bouncer, they thought I was to pissed to be there. I am actually really happy about it. Good weekend.

I'll let someone else do the rundown but suffice to say JC's predictions where on the money in a lot of ways.

[Zeusgolf]

Yep I won the putter by about 15 putts....

[Yossarian]

TourFit (again) has put up a bottle of JW RED label TO BE FOREVER KNOWN AS THE "YOSSARIAN HANDICAP" FOR LAST PLACE WITH S'ford Points.

Ahh the irony.

[Johnny Canuck]

Looking forward to Aldo's update, complete, with pics!

Hopefully there is an action shot of Yoss covered in his on spew, sitting on his bedroll, in Aldo's wardrobe.

[Yossarian]

Thanks for bringing that out early JC. At least I didn't need to hire a cart to get around the course.

Great weekend though, really enjoyed myself, aside for that half hour in the wardrobe and the fact I won nothing. :D

Cheers lads.

[Johnny Canuck]

Awesome weekend. Thanks to everyone.

Aldo wasn't happy when he found out you were sleeping in the wardrobe.

He was even less happy when he found out you threw up in it!

You were very close to a $55 NTP, if it wasn't for Pygmy-Up.

[Yossarian]

Yeah I still feel a bit jerkish about that entire incident. Not my finest hour.

http://i37.tinypic.com/23wmpvo.jpg

I did keep it all on the bedroll though.

Bloody id, great shot though. Some absolute classic lines.

[adlo]

You mean the $55 Pygmy Punch?

Great shot!

I will start a thread complete with pics and scores as soon as I sort through the images.

Awesome, awesome weekend. Well done to simmsy for getting the ball rolling.

JC, way to clean up fwend. Cwazy Canadians. Go back to Canada! Oh well, we should know you always want "more money"

No hiding the fact I was hurting today. Was amazed I actually had a fair few pars and a birdie. What could have been.......

Stay tuned.

[MegaWatty]

Sounds like a great report is on the way. Obviously the piss was given a but of a touch up last night!

Adlo, interested to hear how you let it all slip away.

[TourFit]

I will echo the same sentiments...great weekend. Thanks guys.

Thanks to adlo's family for putting us up (especially Yossarian), getting rid of evidence for us (Mrs Simmsy wouldn't want that BORROWED bedroll back !!!) actually going and buying us fruit and pastries for breakfast (adlo had a 'nibble' of a croissant before decideing it may bring on bigger things), and also for lunch today...FANTASTIC.

Just don't tell them next year if Yoss is coming :mrgreen: BTW, his final resting place for the night was his 3rd chosen site...Zues sounded like an international airport so Yoss moved to adlo's wardrobe and then that became an awkward place to get any sleep, until finally an available couch in the family room was chosen. So begins the legend and the tale of "The Lion, (shaggy maned adlo), The Bitch (Yoss) & The Wardrobe"

adlo let it all slip away while contemplating how 'fascinating' the wine was last night...oh, and that damned wall that snuck up and hit him!!! My theory is that JC was so keen on winning the poker game, that he was drip feeding adlo's wine glass from his own while no-one was looking. He went to bed quite fresh, while adlo was on hands and kness with his arse in the air (plumber's crack and all). In fact adlo himself nearly withdrew before this morning's round FROM THE LEAD !!!!

[TourFit]

Mrs simmsy's breakfast menu tomorrow...

Tee and ...........TOAST!

[Johnny Canuck]

:mrgreen:On fire tonight TF.

[simmsy]

Lads that was truly a Fantastic weekend!
Thanks to all that made it happpen biggest thanks to Adlo's aunty.
TourFit thank you for tanking it enough today to let me scrape out of last place!

MW- I pulled my sh!t together some what today to have the best nett score at bunbury. I did that for u and Hartfield bigfella.

[TourFit]

I didn't tank old man...I just couldn't bear having to part with the bottle of scotch after all !!!

AVATAR CHANGE ALREADY !!!! (Wackeen)

Highlight of my weekend was Yoss's "Shortest Cut Shot Of All Time"...a perfectly executed cut shot of 6", going toe down left handed to STILL be stymied by the tree for the next shot. His comment was " I thought, well what was the worst that could happen? Actually the result WAS the worst that could happen

[simmsy]

TF - have u picked out all the mud from your putter after burying it into the turf to half way up the shaft!

[simmsy]

I didn't tank old man...I just couldn't bear having to part with the bottle of scotch after all !!!

.... But you gave it away for the six pack. Good score.

[TourFit]

.... But you gave it away for the six pack. Good score.

Great score considering it was actually cold tea !!! :mrgreen: Considering Zues's form of employment, do you think he will really mind??

[adlo]

TourFit, your attempts at humour are an obvious front. Trying to make everyone forget the fact that you came dead last, need to wear the NAGA shirt for Round 1 next year, and tanked the lead in the putting competition.

Pics are looking good, uploading a few to Photobucket now. Will take me a little bit to get the thread looking good.

[Johnny Canuck]

love the avatar. is that you or joaquin?

[adlo]

Ah, the mysteries of life......

[TourFit]

love the avatar. is that you or joaquin?

You mean that they're TWO people???

[MegaWatty]

MW- I pulled my sh!t together some what today to have the best nett score at bunbury. I did that for u and Hartfield bigfella.

http://therenaissanceeffect.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/ali-g-respect.jpg

[TourFit]

That's the colour that next years NAGA shirt should be.....


....oh, no wait !!!