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Tex
29th May 2009, 04:47 PM
Golf is F^%KED! Absolutely inf^@kindistbutably F^%KED!!! I hate it, what sort stupid arse sport requires you to eat shit one minute from a great drive into the only muddy bog in sight (no water visible of course, just two dimples where I assume my ball may be) and then splash the ugliest shot ever that bounces off a tree and onto the green... save the hole??? Hell no... 4 putt beacuse you can't bear to keep your own eyes open to watch your sickly insipid stabs at the ball anymore.:smt093

Talk about axe murderers... if I had an axe today I would have cut off my own arms, CAUSE THEY WERE NO ****IN GOOD TO ME!. :smt013 After leaving a divot that required me to run back to the club house to get more sand, I blade one across the green (with MY PUTTER) into the bunker. Some other sucker had obviously OFFED himself earlier as a ball still remained there sitting forlorn amongst the craters, intricately disbursed amongst the dribble marks down the face of the HUGE two foot bunker wall that poignantly displyed his final futility. Judging by the large mound, his team mates had just covered the body over and played on. I am pretty sure I hit his shoe as I shoveled my ball over to the other side of the green, OF THE NEXT GOD DAMN HOLE!!

I have rebranded my clubs "Hackaways" and threatened a curse and pox upon any of my playing partners and their families if they do not run me over if they ever saw me in the car park of the club again....

SO... who is keen for a game next Wednesday? :)
Jarro
29th May 2009, 04:49 PM
Have another beer mate, you'll feel better ;)

Where'd you play today ?
Tex
29th May 2009, 04:49 PM
Second glass of red already gone :)

Played Oxley
Jarro
29th May 2009, 04:51 PM
So i take it Oxley is still a bit wet then ?

You backing up again tomorrow ? You know what t hey say about getting back on the horse .....
andylo
29th May 2009, 04:51 PM
:lol: Best post ever. Thanks for the laugh :lol:
Jarro
29th May 2009, 04:52 PM
:lol: Best post ever. Thanks for the laugh :lol:

No, the rent-a-cat thread was the best ever :smt038:mrgreen:
Bruce Dickinson
29th May 2009, 04:53 PM
"Talk about axe murderers... if I had an axe today I would have cut off my own arms, CAUSE THEY WERE NO ****IN GOOD TO ME!"

It sounds like the way you were playing if you had an axe to cut your arms of you would have missed anyway
adlo
29th May 2009, 04:53 PM
Should have been an author. Excellent imagery. Cheers.
Tex
29th May 2009, 04:58 PM
Wet only in a very very few places, as I say my best drive of the day found one of the few. It is in bloody good nick really, just a bit soft in some spots.

No Golf tomorrow off to Sea World for the daughters b'day. Went the range straight after the game, out of a bucket I was skinny on two balls with my irons the rest were lovely grrr, driver has completely abandoned me however...

You said it Bruce, probably would have missed my arms and sliced off my penis instead LOL

Thanks adlo.
Eag's
29th May 2009, 05:01 PM
Top rant Tex, I think everyone on here can relate mate :lol:
Tex
29th May 2009, 05:07 PM
Top rant Tex, I think everyone on here can relate mate :lol:

Yeh...

My name is Tex and I am a golf addict.

As bad as it was (has been) all I can think about is getting back on the course...

bloody golf....
Minor_Threat
29th May 2009, 06:02 PM
Great post mate..
Just get on the turps and all will be forgotten!
BrisWesty
29th May 2009, 10:12 PM
Great post mate..
Just get on the turps and all will be forgotten!

Not by us!
Tex
30th May 2009, 08:22 AM
Well drinking didn't work; I can still remember everything AND I have remembered some new stuff I'd forgotten as well.

Who plays better in Carts? It was suggested to me that I would play better driving around the course, has anyone found that to be true? Not that I will change to carts just wondering...
dc68
30th May 2009, 08:27 AM
Thats funny.....
PeteyD
30th May 2009, 08:30 AM
I know exactly how you feel. No idea wtf I was doing yesterday. Very weirdness. I blame DC and the broncos cart giving me evil vibes.
LarryLong
30th May 2009, 11:52 AM
Look on the bright side Tex. No matter how bad you're playing, there's always a chance you could play worse next time. :)
adlo
30th May 2009, 04:41 PM
Tex, carts make you play worse.

I take comfort in your first post. Had a shocker today.
Jarro
30th May 2009, 04:43 PM
Tex, carts make you play worse.

I take comfort in your first post. Had a shocker today.

Time for a little Ryan Adams therapy then 'eh :mrgreen:
adlo
30th May 2009, 04:49 PM
What does that involve Jarro?

I know you are short, but I didn't know that also meant you had a small brain. You seem to struggle coming up with any new sledges :roll:
Jarro
30th May 2009, 04:51 PM
What does that involve Jarro?

I know you are short, but I didn't know that also meant you had a small brain. You seem to struggle coming up with any new sledges :roll:

Why would i need to come up with something new when the old stuff works a treat ?

:mrgreen:
adlo
30th May 2009, 04:54 PM
Short
Small brain
Never gets tired of old jokes
Bogan
Can't correctly define "off-course incident"


The list grows
Tex
30th May 2009, 06:06 PM
Look on the bright side Tex. No matter how bad you're playing, there's always a chance you could play worse next time. :)
That was probably the last words that dead guy in the bunker heard :shock: :mrgreen:
LarryLong
30th May 2009, 11:09 PM
:lol:
Golfnut
31st May 2009, 12:45 AM
Hilarious stuff Tex (for the reader of course, cause we can all relate).....almost wishing you have another shocker so we can all be in fits of laughter with your next golfing eulogy.
Tex
31st May 2009, 06:57 AM
Hilarious stuff Tex (for the reader of course, cause we can all relate).....almost wishing you have another shocker so we can all be in fits of laughter with you next golfing eulogy.

OH I can guarantee that... :roll: