Useless facts!

[goughy]

Ok, there's this old guy who works the registers at my local Coles, and I have to avoid him as he just spews useless facts at you the whole time. Drives me wild but heck, he thinks he's funny. Anyway, I was at the bank this arvo and up to the teller he comes, hands over his money and proceeds start hammering the useless facts at the teller!!

So I thought we needed a useless facts thread here!

Did you know that you are more likely to be killed by a falling vending machine than by a shark!

[Bruce]

Did you know that rainbow flavoured paddle pops aren't actually made of real rainbows. They just bulk up cheap pixie dust with artificial colorings.

[Dotty]

1.
We all know Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and the Big Boppa died in the same light plane crash. So did Roger Peterson, the pilot.

2.
I'm not really a dalmatian.

[PeteyD]

2.
I'm not really a dalmatian.


YOU LIE!!

[Dotty]

I thought that tie and hat would have fooled everyone.

That's the last time I get disguise advice off Tony Mokbel.

[Courty]

I thought that tie and hat would have fooled everyone.

That's the last time I get disguise advice off Tony Mokbel.

:lol:

[Dazza]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

[Courty]

The distance between your elbow & wrist is exactly the same as the length of your foot.

[mike]

pigs don't bounce

[Jarro]

Fishman Dan is really a nice bloke in person

[Dotty]

95% of Ozgolfers have just raised their foot to their forearm.

[Grunt]

95% of Ozgolfers have just raised their foot to their forearm.

I knew I was different to most, I did not even think of doing it.

[Flowergirl]

Neither did I. I just used a ruler.:mrgreen:

[mike]

I must have unusually long forearms or unusually short feet.

[Wrong Fairway]

You cant lick your elbow

[henno]

You cant lick your elbow

The gods of the internet tell me differenty...

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=lick+elbow

[Webster]

the human head weighs eight pounds.

[sms316]

Jack weighs more than I do.

[damoocow]

The distance between your elbow & wrist is exactly the same as the length of your penis.

Only when I'm excited.......

[AndyP]

Pope John Paul II was an honorary member of the Harlem Globetrotters.

[Jarro]

SMS has bigger tits than Dolly parton

[Golfnut]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

ROFLMAO!!!!......I love the Chuck Norris truths

[goughy]

The distance between your elbow & wrist is exactly the same as the length of your foot.


You cant lick your elbow


the human head weighs eight pounds.


Pope John Paul II was an honorary member of the Harlem Globetrotters.

At least some people tried!!

[Dazza]

When Coca-Cola began to be sold in China, they used characters that would sound like "Coca-Cola" when spoken. Unfortunately, what they turned out to mean was "Bite the wax tadpole".

[Dazza]

In Cleveland, Ohio it is illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.

[Webster]

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.

[adlo]

In the spring of 1975, a baby in Detroit fell 14 stories and landed on Joseph Figlock, who was walking below. A few years later it happened again. Figlock and both babies survived.

A chameleon's tongue is as long as its body and head and can shoot it out as fast as sixteen feet per second.

[Flowergirl]

When it really matters - I will miss that putt.......:shock:

[Jarro]

Alcohol beverages have all 13 minerals necessary for human life.

[henno]

I open mouth kissed a horse once.

[sms316]

111,111,111 x 111,111,111=12,345,678,987,654,321

[BrisVegas]

cool. :o

[senecio]

The current world record for solving the Rubik's cube is 7.08 secs held by ErikAkkersdijk of the Netherlands.

Set in July of this year it is almost 16 secs faster than the very first record set in 1982 of 22.95 secs.

[Eag's]

I open mouth kissed a horse once.

What, on Band camp??

[henno]

I open mouth kissed a horse once.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0295178/quotes

[Hux]

I must have unusually long forearms or unusually short feet.

You also have unusually big hair

[sms316]

Guinea pigs and rabbits can't sweat.

[Ned]

Guinea pigs and rabbits can't sweat.

Did Hux send you your mug shot Mug duts ?

[sms316]

Did Hux send you your mug shot Mug duts ?
No idea what you are talking about. :-s

Back on topic;

My avatar is dc68's twin sister.

[Ned]

My avatar is dc68's twin sister.

Well that would be hard to pick given she has a lot of hair and he doesnt!!!!:wink:


No idea what you are talking about. :-s.

:roll:

[TheNuclearOne]

Many Japanese golfers carry "hole-in-one" insurance, because it is traditional in Japan to share one's good luck by sending gifts to all your friends when you get an "ace." The price for what the Japanese term an "albatross" can often reach $10,000.

[dc68]

You fat ****!!!!

[Webster]

95% of people who "make it down to the last 2 in a job interview' don't get the job.

[henno]

Negative 40 degrees Fahrenheit and negative 40 degrees Celsius are the same temperature.

[henno]

Absolute zero is −273.15 °C. Scientists have cooled items to within billionths of a degree of this number (at which point particles start exhibiting quantum effects) but cannot get that extra degree to tick over.

[sms316]

Cetaceans, inch for inch, have the biggest dorks. Just so you know, a dork is the actual name for a whale’s penis. So the next time a person calls you a dork, they’re calling you a whale penis. At any rate, the blue whale is known to have the largest penis. It is also capable of maneuvering on its own while trying to reach the female’s vagina. The largest ever measured on a specimen reached 8 feet. Holy dorks Batman!

[Yossarian]

I have an inverted sternum.

[Courty]

Guinea pigs and rabbits can't sweat.

There's a lot more animals that can't sweat. Dogs, for example... hence the panting to shed body heat.

[Courty]

I have an inverted sternum.

So what are you telling us... you have a concave chest? :p

[Yossarian]

So what are you telling us... you have a concave chest? :p

:lol:

Well there are my pecs, they are convex, then below them a cave.

Chicks dig it.

[KristianJ]

:lol:

Well there are my pecs, they are convex, then below them a cave.

Chicks dig it.

Dork.

[Daves]

Cetaceans, inch for inch, have the biggest dorks. Just so you know, a dork is the actual name for a whale’s penis. So the next time a person calls you a dork, they’re calling you a whale penis. At any rate, the blue whale is known to have the largest penis. It is also capable of maneuvering on its own while trying to reach the female’s vagina. The largest ever measured on a specimen reached 8 feet. Holy dorks Batman!

So how big is a Narwhal's dork?

[BrisWesty]

I open mouth kissed a horse once.

No wonder it had a long face! ;-)

[Sydney Hacker]

111,111,111 x 111,111,111=12,345,678,987,654,321

Wrong.... it equals 12,345,678,987,654,300

[sms316]

Wrong.... it equals 12,345,678,987,654,300
You might want to check that again.
:-s

[Sydney Hacker]

You might want to check that again.
:-s

Excel gives me my answer...

[sms316]

Try a calculator. 1x1=1 so there is no way the last integer can be a zero.

[Sydney Hacker]

Try a calculator. 1x1=1 so there is no way the last integer can be a zero.

You have a calculator that can handle that many digits ???

[markTHEblake]

Excel is known to have errors.
1 x 1 = 1

[Sydney Hacker]

Excel is known to have errors.
1 x 1 = 1

Wash your mouth out ! Excel is the king !!!!

[sms316]

Assuming Windows - Start>All Programs>Accessories>Calculator

[Sydney Hacker]

Assuming Windows - Start>All Programs>Accessories>Calculator


Not on my work laptop.... why the IT Nazi's would go to the length of taking the calculator off is beyond me but they do :shock:

Obviously people spend too much time adding crap up and not working !

[KristianJ]

Excel gives me my answer...

You know what they say about Microsoft Works and contradictions? ;)

[Yossarian]

Lost my voice last night with this flu, been coughing up nasty flem and shit.

Just had a coke and can talk again. Weird.

[just]

Lost my voice last night with this flu, been coughing up nasty flem and shit.

Just had a coke and can talk again. Weird.
Praise the lord! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX03hgf_LcM)

[PeteyD]

Wow, he got all the ugly genes.

Damn this is way out of sync.


Wow DC got all the ugly genes.

[Yossarian]

Nice vid just!

You are on fire today! :smt038

[adlo]

94% of the worlds Curling players live in Canada.

Cwazy Canadians!!

[KristianJ]

Pup should take up curling based on the collection of brooms and mops on his back porch area...

[mike]

Trains don't have steering wheels.

[goughy]

Trains don't have steering wheels.

How do you turn one then???

[sms316]

10% of Australians haven't tried oral sex before the age of 30.

[PeteyD]

So did you swallow?

[Yossarian]

Coke zero gives me different burps when compared to those delivered by actual coke.

[dc68]

Do you get different burps when the bf is on a diet?

[Yossarian]

Do you get different burps when the bf is on a diet?

You know what a diet is?

[Lagerlover]

10% of Australians haven't tried oral sex before the age of 30.

My wife thinks oral sex means talking about it!!!

[jaybam]

Whats oral sex ???

[Goldy]

Give LL's missus a ring - she can tell you.

[Lagerlover]

Give LL's missus a ring - she can tell you.
$4.95/min, more from mobile..... would consider putting lesson as payment

[Eldrick]

Give LL's missus a ring - she can tell you.

dont give them a ring,that's when the oral stops

[Goldy]

Never a truer word spoken.

[matty]

Just have a romantic night out and get them half cut. Usually anything goes. The problem is having the romantic night out. Sooo much effort.