Worst golfer you have seen :)

[goughy]

I read a story in GD about some guy playing the TPC sawgrass as a foursome competing in GD's worst keen golfer in America. He shot 257 around the course, including a 66 on the par 3 17th. He sunk something like 27 balls in the water, 26 of them from the drop zone. After the first few his caddy told him he could just use a putter and putt the ball along the path to the green. The guy said that that wasn't the way the hole was designed to be played. After the 27th ball he did just that and then 3 putted for a 66!! Apparently he didn't curse or tanty at all during it. The GD guy who wrote the article has seen the unedited footage - all 40mins of it!

Anyway, I played on sunday with someone who I think is the worst I have seen. And he was dang cranky too, although he seemed happy enough when the game was over. I'm guessing he was off of 27 'cause I can't see how it was any lower. I've never seen anyone mishit so many shots. Hit so many shots along the ground straight right. It was hard to watch. He missed several putts from within 2 feet, usually by inches and sometimes they finished 3 times the distance away. But this was the clincher. On the 16th he finally hit a decent shot, his tee shot. It was pretty ok actually and we all made comments on it (including his mate). Then he proceeds to head up the fairway and plays the wrong ball incurring a penalty.

That being said he gets out every week to play, so he still enjoys it to some degree

[Pinglauncher]

Me on Sunday :oops:

It was pitiful to behold

[Jarro]

I found that story in GD rather amusing ...

... wonder if the guys in the group behind him thought it was amusing ?

[henno]

I found that story in GD rather amusing ...

... wonder if the guys in the group behind him thought it was amusing ?

I would have parked my cart in the shade, put on the weather hood, cracked a cold frothy one, and sat back and watched the show!

[markTHEblake]

I reckon I saw that story about the worst golfer event at Sawgrass maybe 10 years ago?

[goughy]

You would have. It was from 1985. The editor of GD was just remembering it this month with the 'can a 10hc break 100 at a us open course' game coming up.

It was a special event so no groups following I'd guess. Just camera crews and gallery. There is no where to hide!

[AndyP]

I think a really bad golfer is someone who keeps making bad decisions over and over again.

[markTHEblake]

You would have. It was from 1985.

Oh no, I couldnt have remembered anything from 1985

[Fishman Dan]

Our company made a recent acquisition, and as a result put someone into partial retirement. So he's taken up more golf.

Discussing with the Senior MD (off single figures @ The Lakes) about this blokes love of golf, apparently there's a tentative date set, and a 4th spot for yours truly - best part, it's a work function.

So on my next visit I asked this bloke about his golf, hoping to lock down a time and a place. I asked him what he played off.... "oh, I'm improving all the time. I'm not a really good golfer though. I reckon I'd be..... let's see.... in all honesty..... probably about a 34 handicap. I'm getting better, but slowly."

I might pass.

[3oneday]

Played with a guy off 27 (I think) once, he had 3 points for 18 holes. He wins for me by the length of the straight.

[sms316]

I played with a guy off about 8 who holed a 20 footer on the first for a half (playing par). He then went on to make 17 straight minuses from there.

But this one beats that;

I played an Ivo Whitten event at Shepparton/Hill Top one year, which was a 72 hole event over 2 days (max h'cap 6). Rocked up on the first tee and hit mine OK. Next guy tees up and hits his OK. 3rd guy gets up and has a whiff, followed up by an inverted shank, and the ball dribbles between his legs.

There was understandably a bit of a murmur going on by this point around the tee. Myself and the other fella looked at each other, didn't say a word, but we were both thinking WTF??

Anyway, the dud went on to have something in the vacinity of about 115. He chose not to play in the afternoon round, which was quite the blessing.

We found out afterwards that they guy didn't even have a handicap, but he came up for a weekend on the sauce with a couple of guys who were in the event. They told him to bring his clubs and have a hit. Bastards.

[Coffs_Hacker]

Played last week with a elderly guy off 32, He had 10pts for the rnd. Great day, walked and chatted about everything. Who cares how many he had, never got frustrated or swore, still played under 4hrs.

[Flowergirl]

Cripes - where do I start!!!!!!!
I played with one of our ladies - off 45 - playing stroke and she had 100 even on the front nine. I knew after the first hole that it was going to be a long day.

When I first started playing with a social group we had handicaps up to 54 ( yep - that's right 3 shots every hole) One girl I played with - we were playing stableford) had 0 points.

Overheard a couple of weeks ago - "Gee - I can't believe I had a 16 on that hole ( it's a par 3)" So glad I wasn't in that group.

I frequently play with women that have 3 shots to get to my drive - and I'm not a big hitter. Makes it very hard to keep focus - believe me!!!

Still - it's all relative I suppose. It's like a low marker having to play with me - no - I take that back. The difference between me and a 45'er who can only manage 20 points on a good day is significant. :shock:

[sms316]

I frequently play with women that have 3 shots to get to my drive - and I'm not a big hitter. Makes it very hard to keep focus - believe me!!!

Still - it's all relative I suppose. It's like a low marker having to play with me - no - I take that back. The difference between me and a 45'er who can only manage 20 points on a good day is significant. :shock:

I don't have a massive drama playing with hackers. I just prefer to play with hackers that I know beforehand.

Reason being that if they don't know me, they tend to freeze up and think that they have to treat a round like they are playing in the US Open. Not a lot of fun for either of us.

[Bruce]

There was a famous day down in Melbourne where a guy off 36 failed to score a stableford point.

[Fishman Dan]

I think he reverted to selling clubs as a pasttime!

[sms316]

There was a famous day down in Melbourne where a guy off 36 failed to score a stableford point.

Seriously??
:shock:

[BrisVegas]

I once played with a bloke at NSW and St Micks that was truly awful.
He used every excuse in the book ranging from Pluto's alignment with Uranus to a playing partners excessive talking (This means you Vegas).

Oh I thought you were gonna say Fishy. By the way, I smashed you in the second round. My superior fitness came to the fore.

[Fishman Dan]

I heard he was useful at St Micks, at one stage nearly thieving 14-odd skins! Besides, I think it was more the fact that Uranus was blocking out the sun.

But having that Trung feller in the group was probably a hinderance to the young lad too.

[Fishman Dan]

It was the former trip that had me contemplating tiddly-winks. The latter trip wasn't so much about shit golf, it was more about hitting good shots (and bad shots) into that god forsaken shrubbery and bunkers.

Had more birdies than most I seem to recall.

[Grunt]

Worst Golfer, hmm have never seen myself play yet ;)

[BrisVegas]

Had more birdies than most I seem to recall.


cough**cough**bullshit**cough**

[Grunt]

Yeah real hacker!

[sms316]

The white belt is a nice touch though.

[PeteyD]

should wear long pants.

[Fishman Dan]

Solid shot, playing inside the "V". 4 the moment it left the bat.

[sms316]

Solid shot, playing inside the "V". 4 the moment it left the bat.

Looked a little more cow corner to me. The raised head could indicate an outside edge down to 3rd man.

[Grunt]

Was actually a great shot straight down the Fairway on the 4th @ St Michael's. Made par.

[sms316]

What is that club? It looks like one of those chipping specialty clubs.

[PeteyD]

Can't you read the article?

[Grunt]

What is that club? It looks like one of those chipping specialty clubs.

It was a 3 iron.

[sms316]

Can't you read the article?

Nup. The shine from his forehead has burnt my retinas.

[PeteyD]

Oh my eyes my eyes!!

[Grunt]

Nup. The shine from his forehead has burnt my retinas.

Hey I am just getting taller and my hair has stayed where it was! :)

[BrisVegas]

good to see you're still swinging within yourself grunt!

(Is that a broken bone protruding from your left arm???)

[virge666]

good to see you're still swinging within yourself grunt!

(Is that a broken bone protruding from your left arm???)

I love the footwork, not one foot in the same place where it started.

You need better shoes to control that power !

:smt038

[virge666]

Played last week with a elderly guy off 32, He had 10pts for the rnd. Great day, walked and chatted about everything. Who cares how many he had, never got frustrated or swore, still played under 4hrs.

That is awesome !!

I hope to be that guy some day.

[PeteyD]

Maybe these

http://www.xtremerugby.co.uk/shopimages/products/normal/pumavkonstrukth8.jpg

[Eag's]

Holy shit Batman!! Grant you will need some serious physio sessions if you continue to swing like a madman :shock:
Reminds me of a drunk octopus falling down a flight of stairs :razz:

[PeteyD]

A spider on acid ...

[sms316]

Like someone trying to remove the hubcap from a moving car...

[BrisVegas]

Gollum?

[markTHEblake]

Reminds me of a drunk octopus falling down a flight of stairs :razz:

oh dear , thats the funniest thing i have read for a while.:smt044

[Ralph]

I must admit i was pretty terrible at the begining of the year. I was a frustrated hacker, who had no ettique on course and had a pretty bad potty mouth.

Since then I still play fairly average, and when I get an offical handicap imagine it will be mid to high 30's. But the potty mouth is much better. I hardly swear on the course now and while I might get dissappointed with my shots, I take it all in my stride and continue to work towards at least 1 par throughout 9 holes .... instead of being frustrated completely.. i keep working on my mechanics and taking at least one thing away from each hole.. plus i have decided to invest in getting regular lessons now.

[WBennett]

I played with an old duck (off 45!) who was a late inclusion into my group to make a foursome - the three of us were off 7, 10 and 10. We've stood on the first tee and got them out there. She proceed to airie twice, and picked up before she made the fairway.

She failed to make it over the creek 50m off the tee on the second before picking up, and failed to get on the green for 6 before picking up on the third.

On the 4th she cracked a drive over the creek, snotted a fariway wood 120m wood, and snotted another to be on the green for 3 and one putted for a 4/4

It was her only putt for the round as she abandoned after the 10th. I think she quit not long after....

Worst golfer ever

[scratcher]

I have a mate, who started to get serious about his golf, he generally had a couple of air swings for every connection, the connections generally went 10 to 20 metres. Well he started to feel that he needed to improve and went to a pro. The pro took him for a couple of lessons and he wasn't improving. The pro then told him that the best thing he could do with his golf game was to stay away from any courses, as courses were not designed for him and that his "game was not ready". He then went to the same pro for probably another 3 lessons and the pro kept telling him that he wasn't ready yet. I admire his honesty as he told myself and a number of other mates this advice he was given. I have seen him on a course once since and he scored around 80 for 9 holes.

[dave1]

I have played with guy who had no backswing...he seriously hacked at everything....stood almost straight and wood chopped his way to 178......

he then says if he could just putt he'd be OK :roll::roll:

[mike]

3 or 4 years ago I played in a comp at Cairns. This hacker in our group off 27 ( should have been 57 ) chopped it so bad in the first 7 holes it went beyond a joke. Half a dozen air swings, didn't get the ball off the ground until the 5th hole when he sliced it OOB. All this time he was talking it up blaming the balls, clubs and weather conditions and telling us how good he played last week. "It's too muggy. I can't grip the club"
He continued to roll it along the ground for the next few holes until we got to the par 3 8th. (about 140 metres)
He was hitting off last and just looking at the green without a club in his hand. One of the guys in the group had reached the end of his patience threshold and said "ffs mate just hit it so we can get this over with."

Here's the punchline.

The hacker turned to the other guy and said. "Give me a minute. I'm between clubs"

Thankfully he finished after 9 holes saying he had to go to work.

[sms316]

I have played with guy who had no backswing...he seriously hacked at everything....stood almost straight and wood chopped his way to 178......

he then says if he could just putt he'd be OK :roll::roll:


3 or 4 years ago I played in a comp at Cairns. This hacker in our group off 27 ( should have been 57 ) chopped it so bad in the first 7 holes it went beyond a joke. Half a dozen air swings, didn't get the ball off the ground until the 5th hole when he sliced it OOB. All this time he was talking it up blaming the balls, clubs and weather conditions and telling us how good he played last week. "It's too muggy. I can't grip the club"
He continued to roll it along the ground for the next few holes until we got to the par 3 8th. (about 140 metres)
He was hitting off last and just looking at the green without a club in his hand. One of the guys in the group had reached the end of his patience threshold and said "ffs mate just hit it so we can get this over with."

Here's the punchline.

The hacker turned to the other guy and said. "Give me a minute. I'm between clubs"

Thankfully he finished after 9 holes saying he had to go to work.

Spaz's like that shouldn't be allowed to play in competitions. They just take away the enjoyment for everyone else.

[Daves]

I watched a social player take 11 to get past the red tees on the 1st at Reddie Bay one day, and I am talking no than 30metres. 7 airies, 2 hits on the head that popped straight up and down on the spot, and one that he barely caught and went about 20m.

[MegaWatty]

I watched a social player take 11 to get past the red tees on the 1st at Reddie Bay one day, and I am talking no than 30metres. 7 airies, 2 hits on the head that popped straight up and down on the spot, and one that he barely caught and went about 20m.

How about 5 from a guy in comp?!?!?!

[Courty]

The hacker turned to the other guy and said. "Give me a minute. I'm between clubs"

:lol:

Was it Solarman?

;)

[razaar]

Played with him a month ago. A young bloke off a 3 hcp made everybody's day in our group miserable. He gave the impression that we were all there to watch him play. As it turned out he played badly. We all kicked his arse, which was the only consolation for a shit day. A bad golfer IMO is somebody who shows little regard for others on the course and the course itself.

[henno]

I played with a guy that had 2 points through nine holes one day.

That day was today.

That person was me.

:oops:

[Lucasto23]

nice work henno, but i've seen way, way, way worse golfers ;)

[ddasey]

I played with a guy that had 2 points through nine holes one day.

That day was today.

That person was me.

:oops:

Ouch......

But hows the shoulder going ?

[henno]

Ouch......

But hows the shoulder going ?

Not as good as expected. Not that sore, but clearly restricting my swing, especially the ability to keep the shaft on plane for anything bigger than a half-swing.

I actually wiped the 1st (my 10th) as well so it was 2 points through 10 holes. Yikes.

[Johnny Canuck]

Stick with it Henno. Props to you for playing it out.

[ddasey]

Not as good as expected. Not that sore, but clearly restricting my swing, especially the ability to keep the shaft on plane for anything bigger than a half-swing.

I actually wiped the 1st (my 10th) as well so it was 2 points through 10 holes. Yikes.

Chin up, it can only get better.

Have a beer....... or ten.

[WBennett]

Henno

I played with a not so old duck once who had 4 points for 9 holes. She didn't get within 200m of the green on 1 and 2 before picking up....
All 4 came at the 4th hole as she wiped the other 8 holes, and had one putt for the round - the 50 footer she knocked in for 4 and 4.

[henno]

Have a beer....... or ten.

Off to the pub now to drown away the pain (both physically and mentally).

Wish me luck! :razz:

[markTHEblake]

I played with a notable Ozgolfer who had 7 points around 18 holes. It can happen to anyone.

[Ferrins]

I played with three total hacks at Gailes yesterday.

[LarryLong]

A high school mate of mine once had 160 off the stick at a fairly easy track in Ballarat. Counted all of them. Worst golfer I've ever seen, but he still enjoys getting out for a hit.

Another hacker mate of mine who usually goes around in somewhere near 100 had 72 on the back nine at Brookwater this year - with the 'pick up at 10' rule in play because we were running out of time. If we had made him play out every hole he would have given 80 a shake without a doubt.

[markTHEblake]

I remember in a junior comp we had one 14yo that was out for probably his first game of golf, he was a fairly big fella for his age so he shouldn't have been too bad. On the first I reckon he took at least 7-8 shots to get to the green, and then had about 9 putts, the first 2 or 3 putts travelled about 3 feet, when it was about a 40ft putt. I thought that was as funny as hell.

When asked what he had on the hole he confidently said "9". I didn't see any point debating it, cos I had no idea how many he had.